Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 277 Days and 75965 Haiku later...

Spreading it on thick
Mineral fertilizer
I call it "shit."
Haiku # 70335, March 29, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Shit Spreader of Fart Farm
Telescope hobby
Slow motion orgasm face
Meet your new neighbor
Haiku # 70334, March 29, 2021 10:49 am ET
by People of Your Neighborhood
Too much pork fat here.
Only Asia has more SPAM.
Cubes of fried pig skin.

Heart doctor's wet dream.
They'll soon do pig heart transplants.
Perfect irony.

Deliverance squeal.
Close your eyes, hear banjos duel.
Square dance BBQ.
Haiku # 70332, March 29, 2021 1:28 am ET
by Think I'll move to French Polynesia. of Fish, veggies, and surfing. Fuck all else.
Nothing to see here
Please keep on moving along
Exit on the left
Haiku # 70330, March 28, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Slow week for bad haiku
theyre watching the
faces of those they can spook
even though theyre quite doomed
Haiku # 70328, March 27, 2021 1:33 am ET
by mox
I suspect something
Can't put my finger on it
Danger is lurking
Haiku # 70327, March 26, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Paranoid about it all of Your local shopping mall
Glory Hole Gardens.
Grow fresh vegetables in your bum
Dirty bum? Green thumb!
Haiku # 70325, March 26, 2021 4:35 am ET
by Crockett's Glory Hole Gardens
Which one is a sin
Free range cannibalism
Or regular murder?
Haiku # 70324, March 25, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by Hungry of 24/7
We apologize
Pussy is sold out today
Frozen Furburger?
Haiku # 70323, March 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of Igloo
I googled "pussy".
But the search could not find it.
It was "offensive".
Haiku # 70322, March 25, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Pepe LePew of Always chasing it.
Filthy old pervert.
Leave that hermit crab alone.
Go have an ice cream.
Haiku # 70319, March 25, 2021 1:26 am ET
by Just a suggestion.
Second line of the previous haiku contains a silent meow
Haiku # 70318, March 25, 2021 1:12 am ET
by Pussy of Grab-able
Breaking Haiku News
Mick Jagger gets a kitten
Pope orders pay cuts
Haiku # 70317, March 25, 2021 1:11 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Your Haiku News Source
Shank of the evening
Putting the finishing touch
on this Bad Haiku
Haiku # 70316, March 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by A. Booger of Addressed to you
Olde March Limerick
There was a lad from Haiku
He smelled just like you
Haiku # 70315, March 24, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by March Wind of Near Cheese (apparently)
Babies will eat you
They can never be trusted
Cook you like bacon
Haiku # 70314, March 24, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Margaret Thatcher
Legend of Limpdick
A popsicle stick and tape
made it possible
Haiku # 70313, March 22, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Wank E. Ingenuity of Patent Pending
But you cannot change
that which is nonexistant.
Feel the breeze flow through.
Haiku # 70312, March 22, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Cool, dry balls
The invitation
It's always extended, Ma'am
The full 12 inches
Haiku # 70311, March 22, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Every guy in here's penis of Headed for the door
The ever changing
Never seems to change at all
Like your underwear
Haiku # 70310, March 22, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Thought it were Cheryl
But it were Farah Fawcett
On that old poster
Haiku # 70309, March 22, 2021 12:11 pm ET
Russian recipes
How to cook rats or people
Feed your family

Eat your family
Grandma was just delicious
Fuck off Babooshka
Haiku # 70308, March 21, 2021 9:38 pm ET
by Vladimir Pooten
I'm Cheryl's left tit
In that 70s poster
Nice to meet you (wet)
Haiku # 70307, March 21, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Mammary Whammery of DISCO
Strangled Cock Found Dead
Alien Hand Syndrome Blamed
Cops Finger Suspect
Haiku # 70306, March 21, 2021 3:48 pm ET
by Farm Report of Manure Bank/ Cannabis Emporium
An eternal stream
You've heard the men from Old Minsk
have the biggest dinsks
Haiku # 70305, March 21, 2021 8:08 am ET
by Foot Long of Belarus
There is this one glitch
Our bottled water is piss
May contain some pulp
Haiku # 70304, March 21, 2021 7:46 am ET
by Jugs Malone of Long Haul Trucker
Return, O Big Wave
Tsunami of Syllables
Where are you drowned rats?
Haiku # 70302, March 21, 2021 5:15 am ET
by Lone Wolf of Under Old Willow
The question remains
Has Bad Haiku jumped the shark?
You all sure clammed up
Haiku # 70301, March 21, 2021 2:36 am ET
by Geoduck of Sticking out
This is what drew Mork
to visit our crude planet
(And Laverne's wet snatch)
Haiku # 70300, March 21, 2021 2:07 am ET
by Your TV Guide of Couch
Look under the fez
You won't see small potatoes
Happy Days are here
Haiku # 70299, March 21, 2021 2:03 am ET
by Tom B. of Tooting my own horn (literally)
Tom Bosley’s Fez
covering his erect shaft
Extra Large Fez
Haiku # 70298, March 20, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Tom Bosley’s Boastful Ghoul of Limbo
Patrick Swayzee. Ghost.
Massaging pottery clay
but this time it’s cheese
Haiku # 70297, March 20, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Stinky Limberger of Fromunda the bridge
New TV Dinner
In the frozen foods section
Hungry Cannibal
Haiku # 70296, March 20, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Clik Clak fresh balls of Oysters Rockefeller
Cassowary Bird
In a Cassowary World
Cassowary Girl
Haiku # 70295, March 20, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird of You Fucking want one?
Clownworld needs its verse
Hence, our stunning haiku verse
Like a rotting corpse
Haiku # 70294, March 20, 2021 9:39 am ET
by Happy Clown Face of Doom
Look at this poster
Stop struggling to get it up
It’s Farrah Fawcett
Haiku # 70293, March 20, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Stud Finder of Hole in the wall
Your haiku are shit
But that's the whole point of it
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70292, March 19, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Sarah Jessica Parker
The cherry blossoms are here again
but I'm dying of Covid
Isn't life shit?
Haiku # 70291, March 19, 2021 11:16 am ET
by Harry Hashimoto of Kyoto
Where is sky
I'm searching every day
On the eath
Haiku # 70290, March 19, 2021 3:12 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of # Haiku Art # (Daily Haiku Magazine) Otteri, Chennai
Please do NOT "stay safe".
Rather remain dangerous.
Infectious and free.
Haiku # 70289, March 18, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Alien Messiah
The China virus:
it's Marxism in the West
For herd-animals.
Haiku # 70287, March 18, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Stay Safe of Stay Healthy
I won't make you wait.
Some people call it Kung Flu.
'Cause it packs a punch.
Haiku # 70286, March 18, 2021 10:20 am ET
by Biowarfare Division of PPRC of Winnie The Pooh's Home.
Someone light a match
Seventeen syllable fart
Three lines of skidmarks
Haiku # 70285, March 17, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Seventeen syllable of Stain
Some people call it
Wait....wait for it.....wait for it
Haiku # 70284, March 16, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Asshole of Florida Orange
Postcard from a fart
Wish you were here! See ya soon!
Delayed in Transit
Haiku # 70283, March 16, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Lower Intestine (Journey of Consitpation) of Defecation Station
Bad Haiku Poet
Witness Protection Program
You know who you are
Haiku # 70282, March 16, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Know you of By the smell
What fuckery's this.
Free at the VD clinic.
Christ, this ain't Russia!
Haiku # 70278, March 16, 2021 11:43 am ET
by Effing commie capitalists!
You don't want to suck.
But you want the ten dollars.
Make up your damn mind!
Haiku # 70276, March 15, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Goddamn dirty whores.
Container garden
Under your balls....succulents!
No one wants to suck
Haiku # 70275, March 15, 2021 9:21 am ET
by Terry Mulcher of Cielo Drive
A flower tattoo
encroaching on your pubis
improves not the smell.
Haiku # 70274, March 15, 2021 8:21 am ET
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