Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 148 Days and 70424 Haikus later...

We apologize
Pussy is sold out today
Frozen Furburger?
Haiku # 70323, March 25, 2021 10:32 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of Igloo
I googled "pussy".
But the search could not find it.
It was "offensive".
Haiku # 70322, March 25, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Pepe LePew of Always chasing it.
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Haiku # 70320, March 25, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by GussiemupMargarettmup of Sliven
Filthy old pervert.
Leave that hermit crab alone.
Go have an ice cream.
Haiku # 70319, March 25, 2021 1:26 am ET
by Just a suggestion.
Second line of the previous haiku contains a silent meow
Haiku # 70318, March 25, 2021 1:12 am ET
by Pussy of Grab-able
Breaking Haiku News
Mick Jagger gets a kitten
Pope orders pay cuts
Haiku # 70317, March 25, 2021 1:11 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Your Haiku News Source
Shank of the evening
Putting the finishing touch
on this Bad Haiku
Haiku # 70316, March 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by A. Booger of Addressed to you
Olde March Limerick
There was a lad from Haiku
He smelled just like you
Haiku # 70315, March 24, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by March Wind of Near Cheese (apparently)
Babies will eat you
They can never be trusted
Cook you like bacon
Haiku # 70314, March 24, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Margaret Thatcher
Legend of Limpdick
A popsicle stick and tape
made it possible
Haiku # 70313, March 22, 2021 10:11 pm ET
by Wank E. Ingenuity of Patent Pending
But you cannot change
that which is nonexistant.
Feel the breeze flow through.
Haiku # 70312, March 22, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Cool, dry balls
The invitation
It's always extended, Ma'am
The full 12 inches
Haiku # 70311, March 22, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Every guy in here's penis of Headed for the door
The ever changing
Never seems to change at all
Like your underwear
Haiku # 70310, March 22, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Thought it were Cheryl
But it were Farah Fawcett
On that old poster
Haiku # 70309, March 22, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by ETERNAL of TMPORARY
Russian recipes
How to cook rats or people
Feed your family

Eat your family
Grandma was just delicious
Fuck off Babooshka
Haiku # 70308, March 21, 2021 9:38 pm ET
by Vladimir Pooten
I'm Cheryl's left tit
In that 70s poster
Nice to meet you (wet)
Haiku # 70307, March 21, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Mammary Whammery of DISCO
Strangled Cock Found Dead
Alien Hand Syndrome Blamed
Cops Finger Suspect
Haiku # 70306, March 21, 2021 3:48 pm ET
by Farm Report of Manure Bank/ Cannabis Emporium
An eternal stream
You've heard the men from Old Minsk
have the biggest dinsks
Haiku # 70305, March 21, 2021 8:08 am ET
by Foot Long of Belarus
There is this one glitch
Our bottled water is piss
May contain some pulp
Haiku # 70304, March 21, 2021 7:46 am ET
by Jugs Malone of Long Haul Trucker
Return, O Big Wave
Tsunami of Syllables
Where are you drowned rats?
Haiku # 70302, March 21, 2021 5:15 am ET
by Lone Wolf of Under Old Willow
The question remains
Has Bad Haiku jumped the shark?
You all sure clammed up
Haiku # 70301, March 21, 2021 2:36 am ET
by Geoduck of Sticking out
This is what drew Mork
to visit our crude planet
(And Laverne's wet snatch)
Haiku # 70300, March 21, 2021 2:07 am ET
by Your TV Guide of Couch
Look under the fez
You won't see small potatoes
Happy Days are here
Haiku # 70299, March 21, 2021 2:03 am ET
by Tom B. of Tooting my own horn (literally)
Tom Bosley’s Fez
covering his erect shaft
Extra Large Fez
Haiku # 70298, March 20, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Tom Bosley’s Boastful Ghoul of Limbo
Patrick Swayzee. Ghost.
Massaging pottery clay
but this time it’s cheese
Haiku # 70297, March 20, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Stinky Limberger of Fromunda the bridge
New TV Dinner
In the frozen foods section
Hungry Cannibal
Haiku # 70296, March 20, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Clik Clak fresh balls of Oysters Rockefeller
Cassowary Bird
In a Cassowary World
Cassowary Girl
Haiku # 70295, March 20, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird of You Fucking want one?
Clownworld needs its verse
Hence, our stunning haiku verse
Like a rotting corpse
Haiku # 70294, March 20, 2021 9:39 am ET
by Happy Clown Face of Doom
Look at this poster
Stop struggling to get it up
It’s Farrah Fawcett
Haiku # 70293, March 20, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Stud Finder of Hole in the wall
Your haiku are shit
But that's the whole point of it
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 70292, March 19, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Sarah Jessica Parker
The cherry blossoms are here again
but I'm dying of Covid
Isn't life shit?
Haiku # 70291, March 19, 2021 11:16 am ET
by Harry Hashimoto of Kyoto
Where is sky
I'm searching every day
On the eath
Haiku # 70290, March 19, 2021 3:12 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of # Haiku Art # (Daily Haiku Magazine) Otteri, Chennai
Please do NOT "stay safe".
Rather remain dangerous.
Infectious and free.
Haiku # 70289, March 18, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Alien Messiah
The China virus:
it's Marxism in the West
For herd-animals.
Haiku # 70287, March 18, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Stay Safe of Stay Healthy
I won't make you wait.
Some people call it Kung Flu.
'Cause it packs a punch.
Haiku # 70286, March 18, 2021 10:20 am ET
by Biowarfare Division of PPRC of Winnie The Pooh's Home.
Someone light a match
Seventeen syllable fart
Three lines of skidmarks
Haiku # 70285, March 17, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Seventeen syllable of Stain
Some people call it
Wait....wait for it.....wait for it
THE CHINA VIRUS
Haiku # 70284, March 16, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Asshole of Florida Orange
Postcard from a fart
Wish you were here! See ya soon!
Delayed in Transit
Haiku # 70283, March 16, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Lower Intestine (Journey of Consitpation) of Defecation Station
Bad Haiku Poet
Witness Protection Program
You know who you are
Haiku # 70282, March 16, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Know you of By the smell
Have you seen Sleitchen?
I searched everywhere for him
Tell him it's Cyan
Haiku # 70281, March 16, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by Cyan of sltx
I miss his fat cheeks
And I don't mean on his face
I miss my thicc king
Haiku # 70280, March 16, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Cyan of sltx
What fuckery's this.
Free at the VD clinic.
Christ, this ain't Russia!
Haiku # 70278, March 16, 2021 11:43 am ET
by Effing commie capitalists!
You don't want to suck.
But you want the ten dollars.
Make up your damn mind!
Haiku # 70276, March 15, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Goddamn dirty whores.
Container garden
Under your balls....succulents!
No one wants to suck
Haiku # 70275, March 15, 2021 9:21 am ET
by Terry Mulcher of Cielo Drive
A flower tattoo
encroaching on your pubis
improves not the smell.
Haiku # 70274, March 15, 2021 8:21 am ET
by
drink your big black cow
and get outta here, you know
bands named for dildoes
Haiku # 70273, March 15, 2021 3:58 am ET
by vhs of steely dan, man
You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers
Haiku # 70272, March 14, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Things are looking up of Arnold's Restaurant
You're a dren, Potsie
Root beer float with two straws
Fresh pack of rubbers
Haiku # 70271, March 14, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by Things are looking up of Arnold's Restaurant
Refill all floats, Don.
How much vile doo i have!
"Shit Happens" on tie-dye.

Coffee ice cream float.
Made with original Coke.
The one with cocaine.

It will wake you up.
Peruvian dessert freeze.
Häagen-Dazs brain blast!
Haiku # 70270, March 14, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Refill your Free Will. of It's free on Mondays!
we will all float on
how much evil do i have
what happens when i die?
Haiku # 70269, March 14, 2021 11:18 am ET
by vhs
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