Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 67 Days and 77467 Haiku later...

i don't fart too much -
i stay away from the beans
no bad smells from me!
Haiku # 6753, March 14, 2001 11:56 pm ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Farting may be common
But not if to excess, my friend.
Just stay far from me.
Haiku # 6752, March 14, 2001 11:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of www.goatse.cx
Flatulence, my friend,
is a human failure. But
qite normal, you know?
Haiku # 6751, March 14, 2001 11:51 pm ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Oooohh. I'm so funny.
His name is funny cause it's "Dick."
Like, you know, "penis!!!"

I'm mature today!
(Kid, here's a little lesson -
SHUT UP YOU ASSWIPE!!!)
Haiku # 6750, March 14, 2001 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of www.goatse.cx
where there is a dick
and a bush, you know someone
is gonna get screwed
Haiku # 6749, March 14, 2001 11:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
do it to yourself,
just you, you and no one else
that's what really hurts
Haiku # 6748, March 14, 2001 11:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"No! Don't Jump Bo-Teet!"
David Keith, actor,savant
Confused with Arli$$
Haiku # 6747, March 14, 2001 11:48 pm ET
by PT of CHI
jumbo jet fly high
passengers tight as sardines
why not DVT?
Haiku # 6746, March 14, 2001 11:47 pm ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Someone posts on farts,
Constantly. Quite pathetic.
I pity you, gas man.

Haiku # 6745, March 14, 2001 11:46 pm ET
by Sweet like roses of www.goatse.cx
george w bush and
dick cheney - do I sense a
sexual theme here?
Haiku # 6744, March 14, 2001 11:44 pm ET
by fingerfood of singapore
slice like a ninja
cut me like a razorblade
so fast all the D

Js say damn if rhyme
were a drug i'd sell it by
the gram
Haiku # 6743, March 14, 2001 11:33 pm ET
by burning them of CT
blood orange peel sliced
with a razorblade, flesh and
spray and dripping scent
Haiku # 6742, March 14, 2001 11:24 pm ET
by cramjammed of new haven
Be Always Drunken,
Nothing else matters. That is
the only question.
Haiku # 6741, March 14, 2001 11:22 pm ET
by Not Baudelaire of http://beerho.com/
radiohead is
a great band, even in the
hakiu based format.
Haiku # 6740, March 14, 2001 11:20 pm ET
by Pat of http://beerho.com/
Fuck, I'm ready to do
something drastic, get me out
of the damn workplace.
Haiku # 6739, March 14, 2001 11:19 pm ET
by Pat of http://beerho.com/
WorldCom is dying
Taking UUNET down too
Bernie is a fool.
Haiku # 6738, March 14, 2001 11:17 pm ET
by UUNET Employee of Ashburn
falling failing (i
dont know Wittgenstein) slipping
Whatever - language!
Haiku # 6737, March 14, 2001 11:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Falling for angels
Until you find you're really
Falling for devils
Haiku # 6736, March 14, 2001 11:02 pm ET
by Falling
sweetness, I'm joking
when I say you should have been
bludgeoned in your bed
Haiku # 6735, March 14, 2001 10:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"I love you so much,"
He's told me a million times
Who cares anymore??
Haiku # 6734, March 14, 2001 10:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
cams. loathed cams. urgh.
teachers who don't give a damn
kill me with your work
Haiku # 6733, March 14, 2001 10:56 pm ET
by Mentally Disturbed
Hating you and me
Thoughts of murder, thoughts of greed
All lay in between
Haiku # 6732, March 14, 2001 10:48 pm ET
by Mentally Disturbed
I keep falling down
I keep passing out when I
see a face like you
Haiku # 6731, March 14, 2001 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No one dares to care
If I cry, if I don't cry
Caring makes no change
Haiku # 6730, March 14, 2001 10:46 pm ET
by Mentally Disturbed
Leave the quilt alone
Do you want to disturb
The farts underneath?
Haiku # 6729, March 14, 2001 10:44 pm ET
by Really Burned Man of Texas
Jealousy. Hatred.
He loves you, he loves me not
Seeing what's not there
Haiku # 6728, March 14, 2001 10:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Flatulent air
Vibration of couch pillow
Will this be the last?
Haiku # 6727, March 14, 2001 10:26 pm ET
by Chandaman of Texas
Voluminous fart
boils forth under the bedspread
wife chokes heads downstairs
Haiku # 6726, March 14, 2001 10:25 pm ET
by Bung Daddy
horses wearing coats
what is this world coming to?
mister ed in fur
Haiku # 6725, March 14, 2001 10:03 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
the deadly wind chill
seeps into my goretex coat
it is freon cold
Haiku # 6724, March 14, 2001 9:43 pm ET
by mr horse of horstralia
You are so witty
but that's what the site is for
such is the cruel life.
Haiku # 6723, March 14, 2001 9:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Me
Haiku # 6722, March 14, 2001 9:02 pm ET
by Who? of Space
ack! mullets everywhere!
must destroy, i mumble to
myself, on the bus
Haiku # 6721, March 14, 2001 8:47 pm ET
by mylez
homophobes are just
pissed because they can not get
laid, i told the fucks
Haiku # 6720, March 14, 2001 8:41 pm ET
by Mylez
Geneva get your
cookies off. Girl Scouts s'posed to
be cunt-roll models.
Haiku # 6719, March 14, 2001 8:02 pm ET
by boo







A kinky name for
a little heap of dirt. The name?
Bald Knob Mountain.
Haiku # 6718, March 14, 2001 7:49 pm ET
by mellie
:::good~vibes:::good~vibes::: i
have :::good~vibes::: for ev'ryone
more where those came from
Haiku # 6717, March 14, 2001 7:30 pm ET
by ;)
'technology' is
4 syllables. not even
right for short haiku.
Haiku # 6716, March 14, 2001 7:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No reason to cry
You did it to yourself, fond
Aren't you of women?
Haiku # 6715, March 14, 2001 7:12 pm ET
by Garik of Jersey
axolotl love
how could i have fallen in ?
she was a real slime
Haiku # 6714, March 14, 2001 6:58 pm ET
by ash
Spam fills my inbox
"GREAT NEW FREE SPECIAL REAL DEAL"
Bane of modern life
Haiku # 6713, March 14, 2001 6:47 pm ET
by aristotle of tulsa
I love lag
posts posts twice today
technology
Haiku # 6712, March 14, 2001 6:39 pm ET
by redbeard
The Girl Scout cookies
Were supposed to last a while.
But we lost control.
Haiku # 6711, March 14, 2001 6:38 pm ET
by Geneva of Salt Lake
by the time they leave
you'll miss talk-back radio.
pass laws to ban it.
Haiku # 6710, March 14, 2001 6:37 pm ET
by mellie
Start -> IE;
wuhoo! what a crash!
wonderment.
Haiku # 6709, March 14, 2001 6:37 pm ET
by redbeard
Start -> IE;
wuhoo! what a crash!
wonderment.
Haiku # 6708, March 14, 2001 6:37 pm ET
by redbeard
in your wires
are fat electrons
problem's cause?
Haiku # 6707, March 14, 2001 6:35 pm ET
by redbeard
king of my anthill
i realise the queen rules
that's antithesis
Haiku # 6706, March 14, 2001 6:33 pm ET
by ash
carpenter arrives
inflicting bad radio
the power tools scream
Haiku # 6705, March 14, 2001 6:19 pm ET
by ash
you see that planet?
i'm going to blow it up!
i'll use my laser
Haiku # 6704, March 14, 2001 6:13 pm ET
by thegrue of Cleveland, OH
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