BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
243 Days
67705 Haikus
Biden the bagman
Will leave in about six hours
The checks in the mail.
Haiku #66106, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
October 2, 2019 4:24 am ET

Impeach Trump? sure fools-
Stupid fooking Democrats,
You will lose agin
Haiku #66105, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
October 2, 2019 4:22 am ET

It seems nobody cares
I know I sure as he'll don't
Sit it burn
Haiku #66104, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
October 1, 2019 11:44 pm ET

Impeach our Orange?
Bunch of impeared fruit hope so . . .
Will the mango? NO.
Haiku #66103, by Correctors of Hesperides
September 30, 2019 2:12 pm ET

Impeach our Orange?
Bunch of impeared fruits, hope.
Will the mango? No.
Haiku #66102, by Apples of Hesperides
September 30, 2019 10:25 am ET

The Angry Orange
Sunkist in the spray tan booth
Defective Produce
Haiku #66101, by Greengrocer of Earth
September 30, 2019 9:25 am ET

Impeach my Haiku.
Go get your fake witnesses.
Just try it, suckers.
Haiku #66100, by Kangaroo Kourt of Haiku
September 30, 2019 9:10 am ET

I took my Osama Bin Laden Halloween mask into the happy ending massage parlor and I ask the girl to wear it and make goat noises while she gives me a massage and I'll pay her and extra 1000 pesos. She agreed. I got a full body massage and jack off from a massage girl pretending to be Osama Bin Laden pretending to be a goat.

So, I guess you're right.
Haiku #66099, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2019 10:18 pm ET

Mindless monsters may
mitigate masturbation
Haiku #66098, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2019 7:04 pm ET

Your wife never said
Any part of your body
Was..ahem..too big
Haiku #66097, by Au contraire of Behind binoculars
September 28, 2019 4:46 pm ET

My toes are too big
My wife says it's the shoes
She's wrong. It's frostbite
Haiku #66096, by Skeleton Man of The Boneyard
September 28, 2019 3:34 pm ET

Jeff Goldblum is daddy
I wish he would adopt me
Best Father's Day ever!
Haiku #66095, by SilverFoxFiend of My Heart
September 28, 2019 12:53 pm ET

Vomit passed my lips
Lava from a volcano
Tequila takedown
Haiku #66094, by Dandrianabooflesnarf of The Deepest Pit of Hell
September 28, 2019 12:42 pm ET

Cindy's snack was served
Beans on toast with maggot sauce
Crazy delicious!
Haiku #66093, by Dandrianabooflesnarf of The Deepest Pit in Hellkdown
September 28, 2019 12:40 pm ET

Your Alopecia
Makes you smooth with the ladies
Quite literally
Haiku #66092, by Hairless Hairy of Bushville, TX
September 28, 2019 11:14 am ET

If I was not white
I wouldn't need to start a
White student union.
Haiku #66091, by February is the month of White Awareness
September 28, 2019 3:56 am ET

I rise at cock's crow
Then I do everything wrong
Thank you for your time
Haiku #66090, by Nobody of Nowhere
September 27, 2019 11:23 pm ET

I rise for the flag
The pledge we hold so dearly
All hail communism
Haiku #66089, by Line of lines
September 27, 2019 8:54 pm ET

In a room of farts
They found his motionless corpse
Mortician Wanted
Haiku #66088, by Drunk of Barstool
September 27, 2019 7:06 pm ET

Gas continues to move through your body after you die. Morticians commonly report situations where they are caught off guard by a big fart in a room full of only dead people.Mar 31, 2016
Haiku #66087, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
September 27, 2019 4:51 pm ET

My pussy's so big
I feed her two times a day.
And that makes her purr.
Haiku #66086, by Fulfillment of Feline Felicity
September 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Longpig solution
When your rent is overdue
Just make landlord stew
Haiku #66085, by E. Viction of Porch glider
September 27, 2019 2:48 pm ET

Her pussy's so big
How big is it you may ask
I fell in the bitch
Haiku #66084, by Never to be seen again
September 27, 2019 12:15 pm ET

Finally got paid
For my awesome bad haiku
It was all darthcoin
Haiku #66083, by How do I spend this shit???
September 27, 2019 9:46 am ET

smelly teenager
it's like keeping a pet mouse
full of attitude
Haiku #66082, by ash
September 27, 2019 8:29 am ET

Praise God ! A new day.
A Fine day to
the Dork Lard's vile spew.
Haiku #66081, by More of Dork, far less of Lard
September 27, 2019 7:54 am ET

Soggy cereal
Unexpected grizzly bear
Oh man, the wife's up.
Haiku #66080, by Drunk of Undisclosed
September 27, 2019 6:47 am ET

The hummingbird god of war:
Aztec tweety-bird.
Haiku #66079, by Return of Quetzalcoatl's Mother-in-Law
September 26, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Rambo number five
Killed the cartel sons of bitches
Full metal Aztec!
Haiku #66078, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
September 26, 2019 8:04 pm ET

Take that limp parsnip
To the limp parsnip section
They're expecting you
Haiku #66077, by Manager of Not quite right produce
September 26, 2019 5:58 pm ET

Departure from Zorg
Aliens don't wear undies
And they got green junk
Haiku #66076, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 26, 2019 5:52 pm ET

Dork Lard. Hey! Dork Lard.
I'm talking right to YOU, girl.
YOU need more dork lard.
Haiku #66075, by Suet Grease of Bacon Drippings
September 26, 2019 4:57 pm ET

How do I get paid
For this fucking masterpiece?
Gimme some bitcoin
Haiku #66074, by Anonymous Poet
September 26, 2019 1:33 pm ET

Sasquatch hunters ask
Does Bigfoot crap in the woods?
Photo all blurry
Haiku #66073, by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
September 26, 2019 12:18 pm ET

How about "Dork Lard"
As in "Dork Lard Figpucker"?
Could be your new name.
Haiku #66072, by Boutros Boutros Ghali of Where's Wally?
September 26, 2019 11:51 am ET

After submission
I counted the syllables
There were too many
Haiku #66071, by Sorry
September 26, 2019 11:21 am ET

You know what's more fun
Than an ejaculating shit?
A fecal cumshot
Haiku #66070, by Best of Both worlds
September 26, 2019 11:04 am ET

turbulent sea waves
washes my feet, then recedes . . .
I remember him.
Haiku #66069, by Sunita Sahoo of Odisha, India
September 26, 2019 8:49 am ET

Yes I think we should
Be paid for the poems here
Especially me
Haiku #66068, by Underpaid of Under the overpass
September 26, 2019 2:40 am ET

It took a few years
But I finally finished
Growing this mustache
Haiku #66067, by The all new Daryl Hall of Been out of touch
September 25, 2019 8:32 pm ET

Fall makes me crazy
A seasonal adjustment
I'm out of my gourd
Haiku #66066, by Trudging along of PNW
September 25, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Whatever you do,
Don't be an ignoramus,
Unless in poems.
Haiku #66065, by Darth FonkeyMister of But it's pronounced FunkyMister.... should I spell if FunkyMister?
September 25, 2019 4:10 pm ET

Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
Haiku #66064, by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
September 25, 2019 2:23 pm ET

Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
Haiku #66063, by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
September 25, 2019 2:22 pm ET

Beyond Furburgers
Let's plant chia seed gardens
Where the sun don't shine
Haiku #66062, by Head full of crazy of Undisclosed
September 25, 2019 1:29 pm ET

Spin! Land on bankrupt.
Wheel is a harsh mistress.
Vanna never speaks.
Haiku #66061, by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
September 25, 2019 1:28 pm ET

Infectious disease
Carried by a gentle breeze
Azmodius, sneeze!
Haiku #66060, by Ruana of Ella Ella Ella ay ay
September 25, 2019 1:23 pm ET

Proboscis monkeys
look just like Bert and Ernie.
Am I right or what?
Haiku #66059, by Master FonkeyMister, Evil Dark Lord of the Sith of They love me, those silly monkeys.
September 25, 2019 12:24 pm ET

As a conjoined twin
I feel it is my duty
To always flush twice
Haiku #66058, by Conjoined twin of Other twin is asleep
September 25, 2019 12:09 pm ET

Not at all prepared
For the laxative effects
Of this large coffee
Haiku #66057, by Batten Downthehatches of Nowhere near a restroom
September 25, 2019 12:06 pm ET