Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Feast your eyes on this
The buffet spread before you
Between hairy legs
Haiku # 65552, August 14, 2019 4:18 pm ET
by Sasquatch of Nunya
Fingernail clippings
Dandruff, pepperoni scabs
Large Longpig pizza
Haiku # 65551, August 14, 2019 4:15 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Blazing fire with huge cooking pot
Do mosquitoes know
when you play video games?
I think that they do.
Haiku # 65550, August 14, 2019 6:09 am ET
by Filthy little fuckers should die!
Late night watching porn?
Someone's willie is lonely.
And it isn't mine.
Haiku # 65549, August 14, 2019 4:51 am ET
by df
I have no penis.
I'm a bull dyke pretending
to be an old perv.
Haiku # 65548, August 14, 2019 4:49 am ET
by Darth Figplucker. of Ha! Fooled you! Get ready for my strap-on! Lube up, bitch.
Darth s lonely penis
Called the suicide hotline
It was a short call
Haiku # 65547, August 14, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Cumsquatch of Drive thru
Farts! Fucking auto correct.
Haiku # 65546, August 14, 2019 3:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh my God you should see this fat chick that just walked into this health food joint. What a bad joke. Bitch needs three months starvation.
Haiku # 65545, August 14, 2019 3:27 am ET
by If her cunt darts, we're all done for.
I rather like figs.
Ripe and mushy off the vine.
I've only pLucked them.

The L is silent.
Just how would one puck a fig?
A strange hockey game.
Haiku # 65544, August 14, 2019 3:22 am ET
by Darth FigpLucker. of The luck of the pluck is to not give a fuck.
Black forest smoothie.
Blended chocolate and cherries.
Now for a blow job.
Haiku # 65543, August 14, 2019 3:15 am ET
by df
Yeah, my palms are green
Jerking off space aliens
So, what s it to ya?
Haiku # 65542, August 13, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by It ain t food colouring of It ain t your concern
Yo mama so dumb
She watch Figpucker puck figs
And then she eat them
Haiku # 65541, August 13, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Maternal Sentiments of Figpucker
Green Space Aliens!
Out at the illegal jail!
Near A-51

Green border jumpers
From some other damn planet!
Raising hell on earth!
Haiku # 65540, August 13, 2019 5:06 am ET
by Capt Sulu of Planet Grok
Yeah, well- guess its true
More days behind you than front
Strange how that happens
Haiku # 65539, August 13, 2019 4:56 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
How about NASA?
Will we ever get to Mars?
Or through hyperspace?

With technology
from Area 51
it will be easy.

You're joining the raid?
Please post haiku about it.
We can join forces.
Haiku # 65538, August 13, 2019 3:51 am ET
by df
Let's get off of moms.
'Cause I just got off of yours.
Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Haiku # 65537, August 13, 2019 3:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku # 65536, August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku # 65535, August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yo momma got more
STDs than Africa
and the Philippines.
Haiku # 65534, August 13, 2019 1:58 am ET
by df -- I would know!
Yo momma is so
hairy, she was even turned
down by Chewbacca.
Haiku # 65533, August 13, 2019 1:55 am ET
by df
You momma is so
hairy, her dingleberries
go to her ankles.
Haiku # 65532, August 13, 2019 1:37 am ET
by df
You momma so dumb
she thinks "gross income" is cash
tucked in her g-string.
Haiku # 65531, August 13, 2019 1:31 am ET
by df
Yo mama Haiku
So nasty it make Basho
Bash he haid on wall
Haiku # 65530, August 12, 2019 11:53 am ET
by Leroy Fukushima of Kanagawa Prefecture
You so boring, damn.
So boring that yo' mama
Went to sleep at six.
Haiku # 65529, August 12, 2019 6:50 am ET
by Tyrone Jones of da Hood
The English language
communicates hatred well.
So we should be proud.
Haiku # 65528, August 11, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Raping your ear drums. Ejaculating adverbs. Slang vulgarities.
Father like daughter.
She said "Wasabi is Grinch poop!"
at the sushi bar.
Haiku # 65527, August 11, 2019 2:15 am ET
by df
Linguine penis
Sexy Italian accent
You no like mushy?
Haiku # 65526, August 10, 2019 8:25 pm ET
by Al Dente of The Boot
Massage girl told me
There are no happy endings
But her Cunt smiled wide
Haiku # 65525, August 10, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Rev. Cornelius W. Cuntfart of MAN BEHIND HUGE DONG
Massage parlor girls
always tell me "come again"
as I leave smiling.
Haiku # 65524, August 10, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by df
Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
Haiku # 65523, August 10, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by df
Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
Haiku # 65522, August 10, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Inquiring minds
Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
Haiku # 65521, August 10, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant.
There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
Haiku # 65520, August 10, 2019 4:19 am ET
by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix
If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
Haiku # 65519, August 10, 2019 2:23 am ET
by Life's too stressful
Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
Haiku # 65518, August 10, 2019 12:08 am ET
by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you.
You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Fuck!
Haiku # 65517, August 9, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
Haiku # 65516, August 9, 2019 9:43 pm ET
by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland
It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
Haiku # 65515, August 9, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
(soyboy whines about pronouns)
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
Haiku # 65514, August 9, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by Much worse than Hitler of course
Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
Haiku # 65513, August 9, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents.
LDJVRWLJDHPYGQIH
BPBLGOGWYHYJC
Haiku # 65512, August 8, 2019 2:01 pm ET
by POIIUFH
Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
Haiku # 65511, August 8, 2019 10:37 am ET
by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas
Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
Haiku # 65510, August 8, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit!
poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
Haiku # 65509, August 7, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by BodoBlaubeere of Germany
Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
Haiku # 65508, August 7, 2019 7:40 pm ET
by df
The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
Haiku # 65507, August 7, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Nerd Section
Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
Haiku # 65506, August 7, 2019 11:56 am ET
by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth
Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books

Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
Haiku # 65505, August 7, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core

Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma

your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
Haiku # 65504, August 7, 2019 5:20 am ET
by Rolang of Kong Ming
To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
Haiku # 65503, August 7, 2019 3:06 am ET
by Professor Figpucker
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