BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
31 Days
66575 Haikus
Black forest smoothie.
Blended chocolate and cherries.
Now for a blow job.
Haiku #65543, by df
August 14, 2019 3:15 am ET

Yeah, my palms are green
Jerking off space aliens
So, what s it to ya?
Haiku #65542, by It ain t food colouring of It ain t your concern
August 13, 2019 10:25 pm ET

Yo mama so dumb
She watch Figpucker puck figs
And then she eat them
Haiku #65541, by Maternal Sentiments of Figpucker
August 13, 2019 8:40 pm ET

Green Space Aliens!
Out at the illegal jail!
Near A-51

Green border jumpers
From some other damn planet!
Raising hell on earth!
Haiku #65540, by Capt Sulu of Planet Grok
August 13, 2019 5:06 am ET

Yeah, well- guess its true
More days behind you than front
Strange how that happens
Haiku #65539, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 13, 2019 4:56 am ET

How about NASA?
Will we ever get to Mars?
Or through hyperspace?

With technology
from Area 51
it will be easy.

You're joining the raid?
Please post haiku about it.
We can join forces.
Haiku #65538, by df
August 13, 2019 3:51 am ET

Let's get off of moms.
'Cause I just got off of yours.
Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Haiku #65537, by Anonymous Poet
August 13, 2019 3:48 am ET

Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku #65536, by Anonymous Poet
August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET

Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku #65535, by Anonymous Poet
August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET

Yo momma got more
STDs than Africa
and the Philippines.
Haiku #65534, by df -- I would know!
August 13, 2019 1:58 am ET

Yo momma is so
hairy, she was even turned
down by Chewbacca.
Haiku #65533, by df
August 13, 2019 1:55 am ET

You momma is so
hairy, her dingleberries
go to her ankles.
Haiku #65532, by df
August 13, 2019 1:37 am ET

You momma so dumb
she thinks "gross income" is cash
tucked in her g-string.
Haiku #65531, by df
August 13, 2019 1:31 am ET

Yo mama Haiku
So nasty it make Basho
Bash he haid on wall
Haiku #65530, by Leroy Fukushima of Kanagawa Prefecture
August 12, 2019 11:53 am ET

You so boring, damn.
So boring that yo' mama
Went to sleep at six.
Haiku #65529, by Tyrone Jones of da Hood
August 12, 2019 6:50 am ET

The English language
communicates hatred well.
So we should be proud.
Haiku #65528, by Raping your ear drums. Ejaculating adverbs. Slang vulgarities.
August 11, 2019 4:16 am ET

Father like daughter.
She said "Wasabi is Grinch poop!"
at the sushi bar.
Haiku #65527, by df
August 11, 2019 2:15 am ET

Linguine penis
Sexy Italian accent
You no like mushy?
Haiku #65526, by Al Dente of The Boot
August 10, 2019 8:25 pm ET

Massage girl told me
There are no happy endings
But her Cunt smiled wide
Haiku #65525, by Rev. Cornelius W. Cuntfart of MAN BEHIND HUGE DONG
August 10, 2019 7:18 pm ET

Massage parlor girls
always tell me "come again"
as I leave smiling.
Haiku #65524, by df
August 10, 2019 7:08 pm ET

Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
Haiku #65523, by df
August 10, 2019 7:06 pm ET

Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
Haiku #65522, by Inquiring minds
August 10, 2019 12:17 pm ET

Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
Haiku #65521, by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant.
August 10, 2019 6:02 am ET

There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
Haiku #65520, by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix
August 10, 2019 4:19 am ET

If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
Haiku #65519, by Life's too stressful
August 10, 2019 2:23 am ET

Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
Haiku #65518, by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you.
August 10, 2019 12:08 am ET

You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Haiku #65517, by Anonymous Poet
August 9, 2019 10:17 pm ET

Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
Haiku #65516, by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland
August 9, 2019 9:43 pm ET

It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
Haiku #65515, by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia
August 9, 2019 9:40 pm ET

(soyboy whines about pronouns)
Haiku #65514, by Much worse than Hitler of course
August 9, 2019 6:42 pm ET

Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
Haiku #65513, by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents.
August 9, 2019 4:18 am ET

Haiku #65512, by POIIUFH
August 8, 2019 2:01 pm ET

Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
Haiku #65511, by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas
August 8, 2019 10:37 am ET

Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
Haiku #65510, by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit!
August 8, 2019 4:37 am ET

poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
Haiku #65509, by BodoBlaubeere of Germany
August 7, 2019 8:28 pm ET

Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
Haiku #65508, by df
August 7, 2019 7:40 pm ET

The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
Haiku #65507, by Walkin Funny of Nerd Section
August 7, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
Haiku #65506, by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth
August 7, 2019 11:56 am ET

Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books

Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
Haiku #65505, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 7, 2019 5:40 am ET

You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core

Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma

your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
Haiku #65504, by Rolang of Kong Ming
August 7, 2019 5:20 am ET

To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
Haiku #65503, by Professor Figpucker
August 7, 2019 3:06 am ET

Longpig afternoon
Casually picking my teeth
Cutting farts at will
Haiku #65502, by Hearth Cricketfucker of Chirpy Chirpy
August 6, 2019 6:18 pm ET

Trapped in Phillipines
Darth is in Purgatory
but doesn't know it.
Haiku #65501, by Anonymous Poet
August 6, 2019 9:59 am ET

Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65500, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:19 pm ET

Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65499, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:17 pm ET

It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
Haiku #65498, by df
August 5, 2019 6:47 am ET

Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
Haiku #65497, by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies.
August 5, 2019 4:45 am ET

Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
Haiku #65496, by df
August 5, 2019 4:43 am ET

Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
Haiku #65495, by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see.
August 5, 2019 4:41 am ET

Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.
Haiku #65494, by df
August 4, 2019 9:42 pm ET