Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Black forest smoothie.
Blended chocolate and cherries.
Now for a blow job.
Haiku # 65543, August 14, 2019 3:15 am ET
by df
Yeah, my palms are green
Jerking off space aliens
So, what s it to ya?
Haiku # 65542, August 13, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by It ain t food colouring of It ain t your concern
Yo mama so dumb
She watch Figpucker puck figs
And then she eat them
Haiku # 65541, August 13, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Maternal Sentiments of Figpucker
Green Space Aliens!
Out at the illegal jail!
Near A-51

Green border jumpers
From some other damn planet!
Raising hell on earth!
Haiku # 65540, August 13, 2019 5:06 am ET
by Capt Sulu of Planet Grok
Yeah, well- guess its true
More days behind you than front
Strange how that happens
Haiku # 65539, August 13, 2019 4:56 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
How about NASA?
Will we ever get to Mars?
Or through hyperspace?

With technology
from Area 51
it will be easy.

You're joining the raid?
Please post haiku about it.
We can join forces.
Haiku # 65538, August 13, 2019 3:51 am ET
by df
Let's get off of moms.
'Cause I just got off of yours.
Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Haiku # 65537, August 13, 2019 3:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku # 65536, August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ate Arby's roast beef.
Reminded me of your mom.
Tasted better though.
Haiku # 65535, August 13, 2019 3:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yo momma got more
STDs than Africa
and the Philippines.
Haiku # 65534, August 13, 2019 1:58 am ET
by df -- I would know!
Yo momma is so
hairy, she was even turned
down by Chewbacca.
Haiku # 65533, August 13, 2019 1:55 am ET
by df
You momma is so
hairy, her dingleberries
go to her ankles.
Haiku # 65532, August 13, 2019 1:37 am ET
by df
You momma so dumb
she thinks "gross income" is cash
tucked in her g-string.
Haiku # 65531, August 13, 2019 1:31 am ET
by df
Yo mama Haiku
So nasty it make Basho
Bash he haid on wall
Haiku # 65530, August 12, 2019 11:53 am ET
by Leroy Fukushima of Kanagawa Prefecture
You so boring, damn.
So boring that yo' mama
Went to sleep at six.
Haiku # 65529, August 12, 2019 6:50 am ET
by Tyrone Jones of da Hood
The English language
communicates hatred well.
So we should be proud.
Haiku # 65528, August 11, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Raping your ear drums. Ejaculating adverbs. Slang vulgarities.
Father like daughter.
She said "Wasabi is Grinch poop!"
at the sushi bar.
Haiku # 65527, August 11, 2019 2:15 am ET
by df
Linguine penis
Sexy Italian accent
You no like mushy?
Haiku # 65526, August 10, 2019 8:25 pm ET
by Al Dente of The Boot
Massage girl told me
There are no happy endings
But her Cunt smiled wide
Haiku # 65525, August 10, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Rev. Cornelius W. Cuntfart of MAN BEHIND HUGE DONG
Massage parlor girls
always tell me "come again"
as I leave smiling.
Haiku # 65524, August 10, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by df
Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
Haiku # 65523, August 10, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by df
Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
Haiku # 65522, August 10, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Inquiring minds
Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
Haiku # 65521, August 10, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant.
There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
Haiku # 65520, August 10, 2019 4:19 am ET
by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix
If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
Haiku # 65519, August 10, 2019 2:23 am ET
by Life's too stressful
Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
Haiku # 65518, August 10, 2019 12:08 am ET
by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you.
You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Fuck!
Haiku # 65517, August 9, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
Haiku # 65516, August 9, 2019 9:43 pm ET
by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland
It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
Haiku # 65515, August 9, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
(soyboy whines about pronouns)
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
Haiku # 65514, August 9, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by Much worse than Hitler of course
Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
Haiku # 65513, August 9, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents.
LDJVRWLJDHPYGQIH
BPBLGOGWYHYJC
Haiku # 65512, August 8, 2019 2:01 pm ET
by POIIUFH
Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
Haiku # 65511, August 8, 2019 10:37 am ET
by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas
Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
Haiku # 65510, August 8, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit!
poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
Haiku # 65509, August 7, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by BodoBlaubeere of Germany
Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
Haiku # 65508, August 7, 2019 7:40 pm ET
by df
The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
Haiku # 65507, August 7, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Nerd Section
Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
Haiku # 65506, August 7, 2019 11:56 am ET
by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth
Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books

Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
Haiku # 65505, August 7, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core

Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma

your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
Haiku # 65504, August 7, 2019 5:20 am ET
by Rolang of Kong Ming
To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
Haiku # 65503, August 7, 2019 3:06 am ET
by Professor Figpucker
Longpig afternoon
Casually picking my teeth
Cutting farts at will
Haiku # 65502, August 6, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Hearth Cricketfucker of Chirpy Chirpy
Trapped in Phillipines
Darth is in Purgatory
but doesn't know it.
Haiku # 65501, August 6, 2019 9:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku # 65500, August 5, 2019 12:19 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku # 65499, August 5, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian
It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
Haiku # 65498, August 5, 2019 6:47 am ET
by df
Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
Haiku # 65497, August 5, 2019 4:45 am ET
by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies.
Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
Haiku # 65496, August 5, 2019 4:43 am ET
by df
Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
Haiku # 65495, August 5, 2019 4:41 am ET
by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see.
Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.
Haiku # 65494, August 4, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by df
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