Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 22 Days and 77403 Haiku later...

Penis weigh station
Embarrassing to be puny
Everyone laughing
Haiku # 64777, May 13, 2019 5:54 am ET
by tiny pecker of hiding
Two bitcoin blowjob
A postcard from that mean bird
Cassowary Cum
Haiku # 64776, May 13, 2019 3:07 am ET
by Lavatory Laureate of bird watching
Semen cannonball
Where's my morning after pill
You Neaderthal?
Haiku # 64775, May 13, 2019 2:19 am ET
by I can see clearly now of The spooge is gone
Aboursiones? Depends how they're cooked!

We went to the abortion clinic just the other day.
And we were really hungry so we had to say...
Feed us. Feed us. Feed us.
Hey, what it is we don't care.
Feed us a fetus, feed us a fetus.
I'll take mine medium rare!
--Bo Burnham

This actor's guild/union, our payment for performing in this play -- coffee, beer, and a few orgasms. Fleeting currency universal BitCoin and the more depraved and dilapidated it all becomes, the more value it has and there is no reason for it all.

Do not cum in me.
I'll give birth to Donald Trump.
Dayglo afterbirth.

There is NO hope for the future and, while abortion is immoral and wrong and we should NOT deprive those little cocksuckers of their chance at life/suffering and misery, abortion is preemptive euthanasia. The youth in Asia support euthanasia. Flush them all. Deprive the Holy Audience of their Comical Play. It's the only true rebellion. Take up your full auto weapons and have a shopping mall hunting party. Or if you'd rather...

Ingest mutagens.
Give God His entertainment.
Two-headed lead role.

Dried pussy mucus.
Also known as cunt boogers.
Roll it 'tween your toes.
Haiku # 64774, May 13, 2019 12:26 am ET
by I selected street lights and buses. of How exciting!
eternity
fetish
entropy
dilemma
mystical
harvest
Haiku # 64773, May 12, 2019 11:47 pm ET
by cyborg
haunting
habit
mutation
hesitation
siren
baptism
Haiku # 64772, May 12, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by cyborg
I do not like the Lexus bow tie grill,
It looks like it should be on a locomotive,
That travels through cattle country.
Haiku # 64771, May 12, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Country Club Luncheon
Looks like Prime Rib but it's cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 64770, May 12, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Caddy of Shack
Every damn morning
The maniacal laughter
Bacon Sizzling
Haiku # 64769, May 12, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Rise and Shine
No one was looking
So Dad unzipped his blue jeans
And mounted the sow
Haiku # 64768, May 12, 2019 9:34 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Barnyard
Hey Figpucker, you're
a freethinker. What about
abortion . . . your thoughts?
Haiku # 64767, May 11, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Light to Rife of 3rd Trimester
Sparrow in the Sky
Such beauty all around Me
Wait! What bit my Face?
Haiku # 64766, May 11, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by Ilsa Linsa of Hamburg, Germany
Meghan Markle's cunt
From which a child emerged
Is likely Harry
Haiku # 64765, May 11, 2019 7:03 pm ET
by Double entendre
Supposedly she's
A lizard person - Dave Icke
She'll gobble your fist
Haiku # 64764, May 11, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Her Royal Majesty's Distant Cousin
Rolling up my sleeves
Fisting Queen Elizabeth
Her husband is next
Haiku # 64763, May 11, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Royal Stiffy
Meghan Markle's cunt
Once thought recreational
Now has a purpose
Haiku # 64762, May 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET
by The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock
I knew my haiku
Would cue you to spew anew
Untrue points of view
Haiku # 64761, May 11, 2019 6:05 am ET
by Your sacred spew of Figpuckery
You ll be fucking them
Wondering if theyre human
Just like you do now
Haiku # 64760, May 11, 2019 3:55 am ET
by Some things of Never Change
You
Haiku # 64759, May 11, 2019 3:54 am ET
by Some things of Never Change
The Twenty-Fifties:
They were something SPINGLOMPER
Space commies. Bots.
Haiku # 64758, May 11, 2019 3:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never skips a beat
Hairstyles and fashions may change
Incest stays the same
Haiku # 64757, May 11, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Cumtrails of Yesteryear
The Nineteen-Fourties:
They were something NUCLEAR
The Holocaust. Nukes.
Haiku # 64756, May 11, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The Nineteen-Fifties:
They were something RADICAL.
Family values. God.
Haiku # 64755, May 10, 2019 11:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After Darkness Falls
Find them sucking dimpled balls
Argyle cum wad blown
Haiku # 64754, May 10, 2019 10:13 pm ET
by Caddy of Shack
Professional golfers,
What a boring bland group,
Of guys they are.
Haiku # 64753, May 10, 2019 9:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Start the day off right
Face down in my hot pussy
Good Morning Birdsong
Haiku # 64752, May 10, 2019 8:40 am ET
by Cassowary Bird
Satan is God's ape.
The Lord keeps him on His leash.
Ask Martin Luther...
Haiku # 64751, May 10, 2019 8:05 am ET
by Frederick the Elector of Saxony
I'm at the end zone
Scoping out some tight end meat
Wearing pantyhose
Haiku # 64750, May 10, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Joe Namath of Sexy
Thrilling to behold
A man doing a handstand
With his erect dink
Haiku # 64749, May 10, 2019 6:17 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Modern Poetry
Generated by robot
Robot named Satan
Haiku # 64748, May 10, 2019 3:16 am ET
by Cassowary bird of Bird bath
His view was bovine
No wonder he looked at porn
And farm magazines
Haiku # 64747, May 10, 2019 3:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Sound carried for miles
The Booming Climax of God
Fucking us over
Haiku # 64746, May 10, 2019 2:04 am ET
by smite Runner
They never washed up
Enjoyed their mutual stench
Spotlight on Coitus
Haiku # 64745, May 10, 2019 2:02 am ET
by colitis
Say what you want
Just keep moving your big mouth
On my clitoris
Haiku # 64744, May 10, 2019 12:39 am ET
by puffy of Mmm Mmm Good
Pubic Hair Harvest
A bumper crop this season
Pulled under moonlight
Haiku # 64743, May 10, 2019 12:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Some parishioners
Had complained about the host
Wafers smelled like carp
Haiku # 64742, May 9, 2019 9:36 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of First pew
Church let out early
Sister Margaret O'Mackerel
Had a smelly cunt
Haiku # 64741, May 9, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Father Paul Pullingpud of Jerking off while I write this in the confessional
What a great idea
Lord God Almighty and Son
New TV sitcom
Haiku # 64740, May 9, 2019 9:30 pm ET
by Like Sanford and Son of But Souls instead of junk
Need to let Darth know
that CHRIST is his Lord and God
and will judge his ass.
Haiku # 64739, May 9, 2019 8:42 pm ET
by good luck of good night
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64738, May 9, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
He closed the barn door
Felt around in the darkness
Found the warm sow's cunt
Haiku # 64737, May 9, 2019 7:46 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64736, May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64735, May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64734, May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64733, May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64732, May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64731, May 9, 2019 5:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64730, May 9, 2019 5:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
Haiku # 64729, May 9, 2019 5:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Darth is so boring.
Predictable as always.
Same old shit and cum.

Never new topics.
Cannibal, eat dogs, shit, cum,
beastiality.

"I hate my fat wife."
"My kids are annoying turds."
And "all poets suck."

Oh, and brain damage.
Drugs, alcohol, and hookers.
Anything missing?
Haiku # 64728, May 9, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
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