Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Gnostic child
Hidden texts revealed
To her and the womb
For the next sun and moon
Gnostic rights truth in spirit
She is untamed by good nature
And Gaias grace
Haiku # 64393, April 27, 2019 5:51 am ET
by Rejuvenate of The broken heart
Found it safer to be alone
Cut away the connection
Go your own in peace
Haiku # 64392, April 27, 2019 5:47 am ET
by Restart of Renewed
Don't want it now awaits the native of worth instead of your stinch of dishonorable deceit
Haiku # 64391, April 27, 2019 5:46 am ET
by Ra of Oxygen to your very tree...
Raped by her swine of an uncle
Disgusting males and horrid smells of HIS stinch of chaos comes to and end
Haiku # 64390, April 27, 2019 5:43 am ET
by Trash of the Gods of Spit you out unworthy of power
The Sperm Bank is closed
Please consider swallowing
Your next deposit
Haiku # 64389, April 27, 2019 5:42 am ET
by Branch Manager of Slippery Elm
Molestation by your own hands brings forth curses upon your own head and land. Thoth and Asherah now favors me as well as everyone of the Elohim and now you shall fall beneath mine and my children's feet.
Haiku # 64388, April 27, 2019 5:40 am ET
by You shall not enter of The virgins flesh of meat
But I like the smell.
Reminds me of Uncle Bob.
Seems he never bathed.
Haiku # 64387, April 27, 2019 3:26 am ET
by Molested Nephew Figpucker
Jousting penis play
Aluminum foil armour
We keep our meat fresh
Haiku # 64386, April 27, 2019 1:42 am ET
by Long Knights
Sticking it out now
You will note it is quite hard
Guaranteed no smell
Haiku # 64385, April 27, 2019 1:37 am ET
by Rural Guido
That's interesting.
Where did she get cyanide?
Got any extra?
Haiku # 64384, April 27, 2019 1:26 am ET
by In persuit of a penis.
Cum spilled from her mouth
Thought she'd taken cyanide
Called an ambulance
Haiku # 64383, April 26, 2019 11:06 pm ET
by Pursuit of Happiness
Your taint is *choke*... grey?
What the hell, you alien?
I'd like to see that!
Haiku # 64382, April 26, 2019 10:14 pm ET
by LF
I've no medical
insurance; fecal transplants
are too expensive.

A good substitute
is to go to the park and
find some fresh dog shit.

Shove it up your ass.
Get it up there good and deep.
Use a broom handle.

You might start barking
right after the procedure.
That means it's working.
Haiku # 64381, April 26, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by The Evil Lord Figpucker
That foolish moustache
I mean you're ugly enough
Just the way you are
Haiku # 64380, April 26, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
I'm on the phone now
Ordering a new toilet
An expensive date
Haiku # 64379, April 26, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by God is Good
When the noise quiets down
You emerge from the bathroom
Fifteen pounds lighter
Haiku # 64378, April 26, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Stew Dropped
Old fashioned pounding
Both legs tied to the bedposts
Phone is off the hook
Haiku # 64377, April 26, 2019 4:43 pm ET
by No Distraction
The grey area
Betwixt my balls and asshole
I call it my taint
Haiku # 64376, April 26, 2019 4:41 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
The three little pigs
Shaking Quaking No Faking
Bacon Orgasm
Haiku # 64375, April 26, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Garth Swinediddler of Sty
Christ once asked a man:
"How many of you are there
in there ?" (Pig demons)
Haiku # 64374, April 26, 2019 1:05 pm ET
by Exorcize and Keep Fit
God's a homophobe
Which doesn't make any sense
Cuz I think he's gay
Haiku # 64373, April 26, 2019 12:24 pm ET
by Horse of A different color
Yelling in GodsCunt
Secondhand didgeridoo
Tones only dogs hear
Haiku # 64372, April 26, 2019 11:48 am ET
by Down under
Yelling in God
Haiku # 64371, April 26, 2019 11:48 am ET
by Down under
Pork Figpucker chops
And applesauce!! Applesauce!!
My favorite rerun
Haiku # 64370, April 26, 2019 11:42 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
One hundred percent
USDA inspected
Pork Figpucker loin
Haiku # 64369, April 26, 2019 11:39 am ET
by Sam the Butcher of Brady Bunch
Why I buy brown sheets
Sometimes my bowel movements
Wake up before me
Haiku # 64368, April 26, 2019 11:35 am ET
by You snooze you lose
Knocked on your front door
No answer. You were sleeping.
Left package in rear
Haiku # 64367, April 26, 2019 11:31 am ET
by Why I sleep on my back
Emasculated
Took the thing between your legs
Mounted it on wall
Haiku # 64366, April 26, 2019 11:23 am ET
by Literally
Darth, maybe you need
One of those gut refill gigs
they call "shit transplant" (?)
Haiku # 64365, April 26, 2019 10:51 am ET
by Darthian Scarcity of Inspiration
Its not the end its the begging. Because there's always ANU truth in the beginning.
Haiku # 64364, April 26, 2019 10:19 am ET
by New Truth Rising of Hope
I just got neutered
Now that I don't have a dick
Can we date again?
Haiku # 64363, April 26, 2019 9:40 am ET
by Get out of My ass
I yelled in God's cunt.
The echo rang with a boom.
So much wasted time.

Empty and hollow.
And far too loose to enjoy.
Like an old hooker.

Friendly but pointless.
The deeper you look, the more
depressed you become.

Stay away from God.
It's the best thing you can do.
Play sudoku; die.
Haiku # 64362, April 26, 2019 7:23 am ET
by The End
That's why UPS
delivery workers wear
those ugly brown pants.
Haiku # 64361, April 26, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Didn't you know?
Cassowary Bird
Attacked our UPS man
Made him shit his pants
Haiku # 64360, April 26, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Nice
Grocery store
Examining cucumbers
Sampling a pickle
Haiku # 64359, April 26, 2019 2:50 am ET
by Nice
Climbing to the top
The peak of success. What's next?
Shit on everyone!
Haiku # 64358, April 25, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by Ava L'anche
Thanks for asking, friend
Now and then..I never know
Guess it's a craps shoot
Haiku # 64357, April 25, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So you're saying that
gold coins DON'T spill out when you
bend over; that's strange.
Haiku # 64356, April 25, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by You should see a doctor.
Passersby take note
Didn't he outrun the train?
Where is his bucket?
Haiku # 64355, April 25, 2019 10:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tranquil evening stroll
All of nature is chirping
And beating their meat
Haiku # 64354, April 25, 2019 10:37 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Two sips of moonshine
Put some lead in your pencil
Spring Tonic is in!
Haiku # 64353, April 25, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by All seeing eye of Ike Godzey of Store
dead fetus
unfilled ovaries dead cells
just a spam dump useless life no pump to make a bump
Haiku # 64352, April 25, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Empty Balls of Empty Bellies
Outrunning the train
Jerking off in a bucket
Hung around my neck
Haiku # 64351, April 25, 2019 6:56 pm ET
by WTF
Time for discussions
Tales of brave cassowaries
Their heroic deeds
Haiku # 64350, April 25, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird!!!
Hands moving so fast
Bring the scent up to my nose
Flatulence! Nectar!
Haiku # 64349, April 25, 2019 6:50 pm ET
by Mindfully Yours
Can you imagine
If every time I bent over
Gold coins would spill out
Haiku # 64348, April 25, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by I
So what animal
are we allowed to discuss
and/or make fun of?

How about humans!
Looks like monkeys, tastes like pork.
And bad at haiku.
Haiku # 64347, April 25, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by
Perfume of Spring wind
Kimono drying on line
I stand here naked
Haiku # 64346, April 25, 2019 6:10 pm ET
by Kyoto Moon
Wind howling,"Eat me"
Cassowaries line dancing
Evil is afoot
Haiku # 64345, April 25, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Hospitality
Unexpected guests welcome
For you, I spread legs
Haiku # 64344, April 25, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Open
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