There are only two,
the master and apprentice.
Starkitten's neither.
Though he's unaware,
Cuntfart is my apprentice.
Shit flows from his pen.
A slow trickle now.
But soon to be a geyser.
Old faithful shit spew.
by Lord Figpucker, the endless wellspring of fecal matter, splatter on the platter, you eat and get fatter.
Masturbatory!
Holy schlong shlappers, Batman,
get the Vaseline!
by Lord Figpucker, Esq.
Just like Bono said
We're one but we're not the same
Darth, Starkitten
by Bono is silly
We're all getting full
But the demon inside growls
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT
by Person who is apparently not finished eating of Table
I know how you feel.
I also become evil
when craving pasta.
by df
Spaghetti monster
You live inside my body
You make me do this
by Barilla Gorilla
Melodious farts
Bringing joy to the workplace
Now, roll up your sleeves
by Motivational speaker of Japan
Bad Haiku phone call
Hello?? Who's calling?
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
by dERECTory of ASSistance
Used to have it all
But it didn't bring me joy
So I threw it out
by M.T. Kondo of Full Bank Account
Hippie gorp glutton
Fouled your bell bottoms again
Lay off the seeds, man
by Peace
What would they call it?
If cats made cottage cheese
My guess: Cattage Cheese
by Notices of details of Oblivion
Adjust the gonads
Rollerblading dynamo
Ladies, form a line
by Too Cool of For Words
Every day the same
It should just be called Sameday
Thank G-d,it's Sameday!
by Same shit, Sameday
Haiku on Sunday
Might be considered a sin
Yelled from the pulpit
by Jack N. DePulpit of Personal Papermill
Outside Tastee-Freeze
The sucking of chili dogs
The melancholy
by Anonymous Poet
Sipping beverages
I'm slurping to annoy you
Pal, its my nature.
by Sluuuuuuuuuuuuurp of Discount Beverage Depot of Slurpistan
Poor old man Grundy
Goose splatter feces oatmeal
Breakfasting outside
by With Quaker Oats Dude of High AF
Purple lily pad
Someone kissed a purple frog
That's where Prince came from
by Fairy Tails the truth and I ain't amphibian you
You need penis slapped.
You need transformed poetics.
You sure need something . . .
by Slap-happy Grand Pappy of Slapistan
I beheld Pepe
Over there in Kekistan
Green as any frog
by Kekistani Poet of REEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee
I went to Dorking
It's over there in England
I was with some dorks
by Last century
Forgot to mention
Penis slaps me in the face
With every new step
by Step by Step of Oooo baby
but I just don't know how I can make it through the door. My approach may be sideways if I don't have a boner. Hard to believe that I used to walk down flights of stairs in a continuous handstand. The condition of my condition is a source of concern and ridicule. Go ahead and laugh as I attempt to recreate stair stunts to impress my new friends.
by Anonymous Poet
Hey,have one for me
Blow the smoke straight in my face
Now eat the filter
by Simon Says
By his Mole
by Anonymous Poet
That last poem was penned by John Boy Walton
by He always tries of To steal my thunder
Got so high once
Thought I was an ingrown hair
Thanks, Mary Ellen
by John Boy Walton of High AF Walton
Your mother was right
If you make a face like that
It will stay that way
by Mothers of the Universe of Always aRight
Sexy, just like that.
Saturday IceCream Sundae
Dairy in my bra
by Farm wife of Hee Haw
YouTube's gotten lame.
Jacking off to K-Pop girls.
That's all it's good for.
by df
Wondering aloud.
Beavis. The smashing of frogs.
You're constipation.
by Anonymous Poet
Me need cookie fix.
Medical marijuana.
Brownies okay too.
by Cookie Monster
Icicles dripping
Reminds me of your cold heart
And my warm penis
by Thaw
Wandering around
Beavers. The gnashing of teeth.
I'm constipated
by Full
Confused in your pants
Head swivels around,
owlish
No one gives a hoot
by Who cares?
Now, touch your joystick
Do you feel like Ms. PacMan
Time to whack the mole
by Hey, I resemble/resent that remark of john Boy Walton's mole of cheek
Those Millenials;
They seem clueless about life.
Gaming all day long...
by Playing with your Wii trying to figure out what gender U R
ala peanut butter
sandwiches!!! poof the wild
amazing mumford!
by vhs
Thought you eat fruit now
Ask Oscar for durian
It's in his trash can
by Mr Looper's ghost of High as a Kite
Me still use crayon.
I hope that okay for now.
Got any cookies?
by Cookie Monster
Hey,
you can do it
Your pencil marks may be small
But you press down hard
by Good Penmanship
I changed all the locks
Except my chastity belt
And the old back door
by Cyrus O'Paranoid of Piehole
No one in Paris.
Nothing happening at all.
La Ville de Lumiere.
by Time To Go Shopping Because Everything Is Always Normal of Babylon
A haiku on love
Love stinks oh yes love stinks yes
Love stinks oh love stinks
by Shirley Smothers
We live in Juneau
Baculum to the Future
Schlong time we live here
by Anonymous Poet
Immediately after the rain it was never a good time to go out to the street in front of my house. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome was messing with the neighbor kids. The lived on Carnation powdered milk and buckets of cheap peanut butter. They farted in the mud puddles
by Neighbor
No just have a curse
No newfangled stuff in there
Other than Satan
by Anonymous Poet
Methinks you have a "smart quote" option on your phone or i-pooed and that's what's messing up your haiku submissions.
It turns the straight quotes and apostrophes into curly ones, but badhaiku won't have it. So, there you are. Turn that off and your haiku will not be lost to the aether. Or something.
by Darth Figpucker
