Dick Clark back to work!
Ghoul Balls filled with Lust
Midnight Comes Ghoul Dust

Customer Service
I

Dick Clark awakens
Shake off the dusty dirt nap
Like, Rut-Ro SCOOBY!

Haiku will save us.
Haiku is the last frontier.
Haiku for freedom.

That old New York Times
crumpled up into a ball:
Great firestarter

end of this stale year
start of yet another one
whoop de fucking do

He's such a foul mess
Genesis: Peas porridge hot
Peas porridge cold

Bone spurs bone spurs ouch
Bone spurs bone spurs ouch boo Hoo
The best bone spurs (whine)

Injured on the job?
Writer's cramp from Bad Haiku?
Call our Hotline NOW!

Y'all are crazy here
I write poems that make sense
Is this real haiku?

I

Pronounced erection
Possible priapism
Willing, Wet walrus

Go ahead. Do it.
YOLO. Jump in and do it.
Fuck the gorilla

Honk if you love words
Honk if you love syllables
Honk if you

Watson? Is that you

Censorship of verse
It

We don

Hi Becky, How

Got it going on
Haiku flow never gon slow
Jealous? Yeah, I know

The Doctor is in.
Quite simply. Constipated.
Plugged up with haiku

they last for seconds:
convulsive flesh contractions,
glandular spasms

Spoiler alert here
God's plan: Make life miserable
So far it's working

Be all you can be
A mediocre poet
God has a plan, dude

A matter of fact
A fecal matter of fact
When shit hits the fan

They're out to get you
Poets and their syllables
Lock 'em all up NOW

Witchy witchy witch
Witchy witchy witchy witch
Witchy witchy witch

I'm on your loop, man
Transmission readjusted
The view is remote

There's a nude selfie
Something about a mushroom
Incriminiating

IBM's Watson
has been posting haiku here
under Cuntfart Cunt.

I

Prepare for New Year:
that tragic Latin music
just might see you through

Skiing off the trail
Lonely forest. Not for long!
Hello, Grizzly Bear

Hokkaido snow cone
Yes please, sour lemon drizzle
Prepared by stray dog

Long pigs on the move
Cannibals preheating fire
Build flavour with you!

Virtue-signalers
Signaling absent virtue
Flapping stunted wings

You're getting a raise
All poets here. Ten percent.
Make Bad Haiku Great Again

Blasphemous "poet"
When you grip your butt quill pen
Do you feel quivers?

God your haiku sucks.
Over and over same thing.
You must be a bot.

Knit one, purl two,
babe
Cupping your big balls of yarn
Watching ewe fuck sheep

Rum ball algebra
Extracurricular bop
Perfect attendance

2 plus 2 is four
And a fart is a fraction
You do the math, hon

Hella Big 10 Inch
Sixty Nine is mighty fine
Crunching the numbers

Numbers are numbing.
Cheap, effective heroin.
Can we share needles?

Now I am worried.
Jaba The Hutt is watching.
But I've dumped no spice.

Oh, that's his sister.
Now I am really worried.
Metal bikini?

Wizened whore vacay
Whoring around Australia
With her whore daughter

Lizards get busy
Humping in the noon day sun
Wet stain left on rock

Cockburpcock o'clock
Cock of the walk. Long beanstalk.
And hard as a rock

The Romans declined
but it was very gradual.
They did not know it.

I have become a
transnecropedozoophile.
You figure it out.

Okay, I'll tell you.
fucks dead baby animals
dressed like a woman.

Sexuality,
Identity Politics . . .
it becomes so dull.