Spoiler alert here
God's plan: Make life miserable
So far it's working

Be all you can be
A mediocre poet
God has a plan, dude

A matter of fact
A fecal matter of fact
When shit hits the fan

They're out to get you
Poets and their syllables
Lock 'em all up NOW

Witchy witchy witch
Witchy witchy witchy witch
Witchy witchy witch

I'm on your loop, man
Transmission readjusted
The view is remote

There's a nude selfie
Something about a mushroom
Incriminiating

IBM's Watson
has been posting haiku here
under Cuntfart Cunt.

I

Prepare for New Year:
that tragic Latin music
just might see you through

Skiing off the trail
Lonely forest. Not for long!
Hello, Grizzly Bear

Hokkaido snow cone
Yes please, sour lemon drizzle
Prepared by stray dog

Long pigs on the move
Cannibals preheating fire
Build flavour with you!

Virtue-signalers
Signaling absent virtue
Flapping stunted wings

You're getting a raise
All poets here. Ten percent.
Make Bad Haiku Great Again

Blasphemous "poet"
When you grip your butt quill pen
Do you feel quivers?

God your haiku sucks.
Over and over same thing.
You must be a bot.

Knit one, purl two,
babe
Cupping your big balls of yarn
Watching ewe fuck sheep

Rum ball algebra
Extracurricular bop
Perfect attendance

2 plus 2 is four
And a fart is a fraction
You do the math, hon

Hella Big 10 Inch
Sixty Nine is mighty fine
Crunching the numbers

Numbers are numbing.
Cheap, effective heroin.
Can we share needles?

Now I am worried.
Jaba The Hutt is watching.
But I've dumped no spice.

Oh, that's his sister.
Now I am really worried.
Metal bikini?

Wizened whore vacay
Whoring around Australia
With her whore daughter

Lizards get busy
Humping in the noon day sun
Wet stain left on rock

Cockburpcock o'clock
Cock of the walk. Long beanstalk.
And hard as a rock

The Romans declined
but it was very gradual.
They did not know it.

I have become a
transnecropedozoophile.
You figure it out.

Okay, I'll tell you.
fucks dead baby animals
dressed like a woman.

Sexuality,
Identity Politics . . .
it becomes so dull.

Behemoth Cuntfarts
Filling this space while you

Grinch farts are bright green
Grinch farts smell like rotten eggs
Grinch feces is green

He

Yule Log Video
Donald Trump nude by the fire
Inch long mushroom cap

Ain

Ain

Ya ain

You are Little Superstar
And ya ain

Thanks for the pics, Darth
Wow! You

How did you know that
my rum balls are awesome?
I've told no one here.

Are you stalking me?
I do not mind if you do.
Would you like nude pics?

If so, email me.
Darthfigpucker at yahoo
dot com, but of course.

I think porn websites
should have the suffix dot cum.
That's what we're here for.

Festive Holiday
Kraft dinner or buttered toast ? Jerking off is free

Made in China Junk
Made in China Junk More Junk
Made in China Junk

inebriated
Chuckling and clinking ice cubes
Excellent vintage

Hugh Hefner's cold pipe
Unfilled, unlit and unused
Evermore unsmoked

Uncorking my ass
How I

Trigonometry
Geometry Christmas tree
Penis Puppetry

I would like some pie.
Anything except mince meat.
That shit is nasty.

A cork's in your ass?!
I won't kiss your camel toe!
Don't want a face full.

Cockburpcock so drunk
Oopsie stuck wine cork in ass
Pressure Cooker BOMB

It's much more festive
to kiss under camel toe.
Mistletoe is dumb.