Ain

Ya ain

You are Little Superstar
And ya ain

Thanks for the pics, Darth
Wow! You

How did you know that
my rum balls are awesome?
I've told no one here.

Are you stalking me?
I do not mind if you do.
Would you like nude pics?

If so, email me.
Darthfigpucker at yahoo
dot com, but of course.

I think porn websites
should have the suffix dot cum.
That's what we're here for.

Festive Holiday
Kraft dinner or buttered toast ? Jerking off is free

Made in China Junk
Made in China Junk More Junk
Made in China Junk

inebriated
Chuckling and clinking ice cubes
Excellent vintage

Hugh Hefner's cold pipe
Unfilled, unlit and unused
Evermore unsmoked

Uncorking my ass
How I

Trigonometry
Geometry Christmas tree
Penis Puppetry

I would like some pie.
Anything except mince meat.
That shit is nasty.

A cork's in your ass?!
I won't kiss your camel toe!
Don't want a face full.

Cockburpcock so drunk
Oopsie stuck wine cork in ass
Pressure Cooker BOMB

It's much more festive
to kiss under camel toe.
Mistletoe is dumb.

Baby,..Cold outside
Bring us some Figgy Pudding
Cameltoe kissing

Shy Figpucker
Kissing under camel toe
Your rum balls are fine

Cuntfart Quaint fart
Tiptoe Tiptoe Blunderbuss
Queef Cacophany

*cockburpcock

Too much wine.

Hugh Hefner's bathrobe
Limp, lonely and forgotten
Hung behind the door

inappropriate
cuntfartcunt and cockburbcock
fishy mushroom sauce

I have overcome
Foul images and Haiku.
Bring it ON, mortals.

Ever Grimacing
New Jersey Constipation
Greetings from Springsteen

Erect Santa Claus
Reindeer pulling sleigh and dink
Coming down chimney

Walking down the street
Stopping to squish. Turtle trap.
Walking down the street

Grizzly Bear Christmas
Tree Decorating Party
Tinsel: Human remains

Andy Williams croons
Santa in repose on couch
Stiff drink and stiff dink

It might not be snot
But I hella need Kleenex
For my lower nose

Is that you Sneezy!?
Are you fucking serious?
Sneezy was a dwarf!

Garden gnome orgy
Kmart warehouse.ugh ugh oooooooooooooooooooooooohhh!
GIANT ORGASM

Bleeding frog colors
red and green - how Christmassy.
Is that a real word?

As the story goes,
'Twas the cunt before Christmas
and all through the fart.

Not a creature was
fucking, not even a pig.
The condoms were hung

so they'll be re-used
because crack-whores are cheap as fucking shit
and I'm too lazy to continue this in haiku form.

Sing:"Blood in the streets.."
Croaked? Peace Frog Accident Wreck
Have it toad away

Saw an injured frog.
It was bleeding in the street.
I should have killed it.

Radioactive
Fish of Honshu, upstream twerk
Mooncake urinal chunk

Rock rat Honshu life
Your own happiness is now
Gnawing small branches

But on second thought
Better keep it in your pants
His is way bigger

They're not really kids
Google "Little Superstar"
I think he's a dwarf

I am sure these kids
see white mens' peckers often.
One more won't phase them.

Soften the Grinch heart
Open your door. Song! Rejoice!
Show them your pecker

The children carol.
Not out of love for Jesus.
They just want money.

Future prostitutes.
Preachers or politicians.
Singing out of tune.

I tell them "Shut up!
Go away and don't come back!
Until you can sing!"

Talentless monkeys.
Fleas from a street dog's backside.
Begging for my blood.

Proof there is no God.
If there were, he would kill them.
So that's their purpose.

Honshu scry monkeys
Poo Flinging Ceremony
Wear brown kimono

Pan drippings?..What the?..
I thought it said pants drippings
Tasty brown gravy

Dishonorable
Discharge. Running down your leg.
Fast as Usain Bolt

Spain Christmas kaka
Kids hit the log with a stick
And presents appear

God God God God Good
Devil Devil Devil Bad
God good Devil bad

Honshu River rat
Happy. Fat gut. Nibbling mooncake.
Rat thinks, "Gid is Good."

Love God then hate God
He is everywhere. Absent.
Still waiting for Him.

Honshu river bridge
Cherry blossoms of spring moon . . .
Similar Jap stuff

To enjoy Christmas
Listen to Spanish carols
It's way more lively