Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 165 Days and 77045 Haiku later...

Ain
Haiku # 61396, December 24, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ya ain
Haiku # 61395, December 24, 2018 11:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You are Little Superstar
And ya ain
Haiku # 61394, December 24, 2018 11:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thanks for the pics, Darth
Wow! You
Haiku # 61393, December 24, 2018 10:10 pm ET
by Stalkerette of Over Here
How did you know that
my rum balls are awesome?
I've told no one here.

Are you stalking me?
I do not mind if you do.
Would you like nude pics?

If so, email me.
Darthfigpucker at yahoo
dot com, but of course.

I think porn websites
should have the suffix dot cum.
That's what we're here for.
Haiku # 61392, December 24, 2018 9:18 pm ET
by
Festive Holiday
Kraft dinner or buttered toast ? Jerking off is free
Haiku # 61391, December 24, 2018 5:18 pm ET
by Frugal Freddy
Made in China Junk
Made in China Junk More Junk
Made in China Junk
Haiku # 61390, December 24, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Person
inebriated
Chuckling and clinking ice cubes
Excellent vintage
Haiku # 61389, December 24, 2018 8:28 am ET
by Hef of Beyond
Hugh Hefner's cold pipe
Unfilled, unlit and unused
Evermore unsmoked
Haiku # 61388, December 24, 2018 8:07 am ET
by Miss March, centerfold of 1967
Uncorking my ass
How I
Haiku # 61387, December 24, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Gassy Assy of Times Square
Trigonometry
Geometry Christmas tree
Penis Puppetry
Haiku # 61386, December 24, 2018 1:14 am ET
by Mince Meat of 3.14
I would like some pie.
Anything except mince meat.
That shit is nasty.
Haiku # 61385, December 24, 2018 12:42 am ET
by df
A cork's in your ass?!
I won't kiss your camel toe!
Don't want a face full.
Haiku # 61384, December 24, 2018 12:38 am ET
by df
Cockburpcock so drunk
Oopsie stuck wine cork in ass
Pressure Cooker BOMB
Haiku # 61383, December 24, 2018 12:15 am ET
by Boom Boom of Boom Boom Room
It's much more festive
to kiss under camel toe.
Mistletoe is dumb.
Haiku # 61382, December 23, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by df
Baby,..Cold outside
Bring us some Figgy Pudding
Cameltoe kissing
Haiku # 61381, December 23, 2018 7:53 pm ET
by Kringle of Mingle
Shy Figpucker
Kissing under camel toe
Your rum balls are fine
Haiku # 61380, December 23, 2018 6:22 pm ET
by Juicy Joyce of Basketball game
Cuntfart Quaint fart
Tiptoe Tiptoe Blunderbuss
Queef Cacophany
Haiku # 61379, December 23, 2018 6:21 pm ET
by Toot
*cockburpcock

Too much wine.
Haiku # 61378, December 23, 2018 5:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hugh Hefner's bathrobe
Limp, lonely and forgotten
Hung behind the door
Haiku # 61377, December 23, 2018 5:11 pm ET
by Sleaze of Playboy Mansion
inappropriate
cuntfartcunt and cockburbcock
fishy mushroom sauce
Haiku # 61376, December 23, 2018 5:10 pm ET
by Anonymous poet of Lower case p. As in p on me.
I have overcome
Foul images and Haiku.
Bring it ON, mortals.
Haiku # 61375, December 23, 2018 5:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ever Grimacing
New Jersey Constipation
Greetings from Springsteen
Haiku # 61374, December 23, 2018 4:37 pm ET
by Assberry Park of Wish you were here
Erect Santa Claus
Reindeer pulling sleigh and dink
Coming down chimney
Haiku # 61373, December 22, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by Seeing Things of Frosty windowpane
Walking down the street
Stopping to squish. Turtle trap.
Walking down the street
Haiku # 61372, December 22, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Squisher
Grizzly Bear Christmas
Tree Decorating Party
Tinsel: Human remains
Haiku # 61371, December 22, 2018 12:32 am ET
by T. Treadwell of Around
Andy Williams croons
Santa in repose on couch
Stiff drink and stiff dink
Haiku # 61370, December 22, 2018 12:21 am ET
by That drunk Christmas painter of Sunday Paper advertisement
It might not be snot
But I hella need Kleenex
For my lower nose
Haiku # 61369, December 22, 2018 12:16 am ET
by Garden Gnome of Kmart Warehouse
Is that you Sneezy!?
Are you fucking serious?
Sneezy was a dwarf!
Haiku # 61368, December 22, 2018 12:14 am ET
by Overheard at Kmart Warehouse
Garden gnome orgy
Kmart warehouse.ugh ugh oooooooooooooooooooooooohhh!
GIANT ORGASM
Haiku # 61367, December 22, 2018 12:12 am ET
by K. Martino of The Gut
Bleeding frog colors
red and green - how Christmassy.
Is that a real word?
Haiku # 61366, December 21, 2018 11:02 pm ET
by Funtcart Funt
As the story goes,
'Twas the cunt before Christmas
and all through the fart.

Not a creature was
fucking, not even a pig.
The condoms were hung

so they'll be re-used
because crack-whores are cheap as fucking shit
and I'm too lazy to continue this in haiku form.
Haiku # 61365, December 21, 2018 10:58 pm ET
by Cunts cocks farts poop piss floppy titties and bouncing testes
Sing:"Blood in the streets.."
Croaked? Peace Frog Accident Wreck
Have it toad away
Haiku # 61364, December 21, 2018 4:33 pm ET
by Miss Piggy of Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Saw an injured frog.
It was bleeding in the street.
I should have killed it.
Haiku # 61363, December 21, 2018 1:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Radioactive
Fish of Honshu, upstream twerk
Mooncake urinal chunk
Haiku # 61362, December 21, 2018 8:11 am ET
by Kimono O'Flappery of Spent a few days with a small dog
Rock rat Honshu life
Your own happiness is now
Gnawing small branches
Haiku # 61361, December 21, 2018 8:05 am ET
by Honshu windy flapping kimono of Kimono dragon
But on second thought
Better keep it in your pants
His is way bigger
Haiku # 61360, December 21, 2018 5:10 am ET
by Measures with Ruler
They're not really kids
Google "Little Superstar"
I think he's a dwarf
Haiku # 61359, December 21, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Midget
I am sure these kids
see white mens' peckers often.
One more won't phase them.
Haiku # 61358, December 21, 2018 4:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Soften the Grinch heart
Open your door. Song! Rejoice!
Show them your pecker
Haiku # 61357, December 21, 2018 2:31 am ET
by Good Advice
The children carol.
Not out of love for Jesus.
They just want money.

Future prostitutes.
Preachers or politicians.
Singing out of tune.

I tell them "Shut up!
Go away and don't come back!
Until you can sing!"

Talentless monkeys.
Fleas from a street dog's backside.
Begging for my blood.

Proof there is no God.
If there were, he would kill them.
So that's their purpose.
Haiku # 61356, December 21, 2018 2:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Honshu scry monkeys
Poo Flinging Ceremony
Wear brown kimono
Haiku # 61355, December 20, 2018 2:48 pm ET
by Wardrobe Consultant of Coming out of the Closet
Pan drippings?..What the?..
I thought it said pants drippings
Tasty brown gravy
Haiku # 61354, December 20, 2018 2:43 pm ET
by Captain of Gravy Boat
Dishonorable
Discharge. Running down your leg.
Fast as Usain Bolt
Haiku # 61353, December 20, 2018 2:08 pm ET
by Person in the know
Spain Christmas kaka
Kids hit the log with a stick
And presents appear
Haiku # 61352, December 20, 2018 12:01 pm ET
by Teletubbies viewer
God God God God Good
Devil Devil Devil Bad
God good Devil bad
Haiku # 61351, December 20, 2018 11:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Honshu River rat
Happy. Fat gut. Nibbling mooncake.
Rat thinks, "Gid is Good."
Haiku # 61350, December 20, 2018 11:54 am ET
by Rat Finks of Honshu Bridge
Love God then hate God
He is everywhere. Absent.
Still waiting for Him.
Haiku # 61349, December 20, 2018 7:48 am ET
by Someone's Cue to Blaspheme
Honshu river bridge
Cherry blossoms of spring moon . . .
Similar Jap stuff
Haiku # 61348, December 20, 2018 7:45 am ET
by Yo Mama of Yokohama
To enjoy Christmas
Listen to Spanish carols
It's way more lively
Haiku # 61347, December 20, 2018 7:32 am ET
by El Desdichado of Gringolandia
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