Walking down the street
Stopping to squish. Turtle trap.
Walking down the street

Grizzly Bear Christmas
Tree Decorating Party
Tinsel: Human remains

Andy Williams croons
Santa in repose on couch
Stiff drink and stiff dink

It might not be snot
But I hella need Kleenex
For my lower nose

Is that you Sneezy!?
Are you fucking serious?
Sneezy was a dwarf!

Garden gnome orgy
Kmart warehouse.ugh ugh oooooooooooooooooooooooohhh!
GIANT ORGASM

Bleeding frog colors
red and green - how Christmassy.
Is that a real word?

As the story goes,
'Twas the cunt before Christmas
and all through the fart.

Not a creature was
fucking, not even a pig.
The condoms were hung

so they'll be re-used
because crack-whores are cheap as fucking shit
and I'm too lazy to continue this in haiku form.

Sing:"Blood in the streets.."
Croaked? Peace Frog Accident Wreck
Have it toad away

Saw an injured frog.
It was bleeding in the street.
I should have killed it.

Radioactive
Fish of Honshu, upstream twerk
Mooncake urinal chunk

Rock rat Honshu life
Your own happiness is now
Gnawing small branches

But on second thought
Better keep it in your pants
His is way bigger

They're not really kids
Google "Little Superstar"
I think he's a dwarf

I am sure these kids
see white mens' peckers often.
One more won't phase them.

Soften the Grinch heart
Open your door. Song! Rejoice!
Show them your pecker

The children carol.
Not out of love for Jesus.
They just want money.

Future prostitutes.
Preachers or politicians.
Singing out of tune.

I tell them "Shut up!
Go away and don't come back!
Until you can sing!"

Talentless monkeys.
Fleas from a street dog's backside.
Begging for my blood.

Proof there is no God.
If there were, he would kill them.
So that's their purpose.

Honshu scry monkeys
Poo Flinging Ceremony
Wear brown kimono

Pan drippings?..What the?..
I thought it said pants drippings
Tasty brown gravy

Dishonorable
Discharge. Running down your leg.
Fast as Usain Bolt

Spain Christmas kaka
Kids hit the log with a stick
And presents appear

God God God God Good
Devil Devil Devil Bad
God good Devil bad

Honshu River rat
Happy. Fat gut. Nibbling mooncake.
Rat thinks, "Gid is Good."

Love God then hate God
He is everywhere. Absent.
Still waiting for Him.

Honshu river bridge
Cherry blossoms of spring moon . . .
Similar Jap stuff

To enjoy Christmas
Listen to Spanish carols
It's way more lively

Let's face it. God sucks.
Made Grizzly bears to kill us
Gave men small ding dongs

I would like to die.
Nothing in life gives me joy.
I am just a tool.

I believe in God.
I believe absolutely.
That He hates us all.

He sits on His throne,
gold, gems, and perls, watching.
Sickness, war, and death.

Pain and misery.
And He laughs watching it all,
despising humans.

Mama Cass sandwich.
Maximum Moistmaker
Homemade Mayonnaise

Stopped in to a church
How 'bout confessing to incest.
On a winter's day

Live: Arsonist Nabbed
Cuffed whilst sipping hot cocoa
Admiring the flames

warm hot chocolate
sitting by an open flame
on a winters day

as the snow lies deep
I crack open the Bailey's
sobriety gone

Your Haiku news source
Up next, Darth's longpig forecast
And dink stretching show

FedEx box cat pan
When full, tape shut. Leave on porch.
Homemade shitter bomb

Öklongig vertiik
Meuadischu svlegan haiku
Vertiik blaschen shite

South Park Christmas Poo
Xmas Toilet Overflow
Walton

Pervert Truckdriver
Boofing tied up runaways
Hogtied Highway Hump

Perverts here and there
Perverts Perverts Everywhere
Basement Dungeon Boof

The Dutroux affair !
What is it about Belgium?
Something sinister . . .

But now back to Darth:
His righteous Biblical verse
is our salvation.

Figpucker has it:
that certain je ne sais quoi
that attracts green flies

Skin Flint, Guy Smiley
Father Time, Mister Man, Slimdick.
Adolph Q. Hitler

Gaylord Cuntsnapper
Pig driller, Man about Town
Lord of the Manor

Figpucker: more farts.
More excrement and more filth.
And WAY more sex too.

That's a bad smell
Concentrated egg farts whiff!!
It hangs in the air

Feeling inspired now
Rigged up a fart spray device
Protect my beaver

Instant Pot Grinch Stew
Tangy snappy vaginas
Served a la 'jaculate

Calls for tradition
Fisting Sans Lubricant Eve
Make room for daddy

"Santa's testicles".
Christmas meatball recipe.
In white creamy sauce.

Bell pepper and mint.
Perfect red and green garnish.
Straight rum, no egg nog.

Cuntfart Cunt's dry scabs
fly out of her vagina
like a glitter bomb.

"Dark Stains on the Wall":
Old Oriental novel
Author: Hu Flung Dung

One monkey throws poo.
This is the way things should be.
Two is a shit storm.