You, Haiku poet !
Receive your wife's dead body
from Tsing-Tao beer vat.
by Auspicious Portents of Jade Mountain Goddess
How was your wife, hon?
Oh, a beer to hear I'm that.
I'll get you sorry .
by Wise Maiden of of Scarlet Robe of Tsing-Tao Brewery
Paper tigers all!
Wrong thinking of Old-Way mind.
(more Hennessy, mom)
by Gang of Four Aces of Dialectical Materialism applied to Haiku
How was your sorry, hon?
Oh, I'm that hear today.
I'll get you a wife.
by Good Beer !
sarah jeong ill-sung:
no seoul dim sum in a-hole
pyongyang yin poontang
by Carl Jeong of Old Vienna mit Kaffe-klatsch
How was your day, hon?
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll get you a beer.
by Good wife.
Better time wasted
Examining your gonads
Big warts and all
by Doc
So Darwinian
Similarly simian
Abyssinian
by Haile Selassie of Detroit
Hair named Donald Trump.
He make me get furious.
Him bad president.
by Hair Apparent of Appalling Orange
Lucy was an ape
Not a proto-humanoid.
Sorry, Donald J.
by Omo Afar of Turkana Banana
Bleaching straightened hair
Qualifies as cultural
Appropriation
by Great Mother Africa of Lapp-land
"Rat" is a mob term,
used for one who tells the truth
So yeah, Trump is right.
by Hahahahaha
Holiday Shopping
I'm buying you some more junk
Don't expect blow jobs
by Shopper
Peaceful unicorn
Licking luscious lollipops
Farting rainbow dust
by Yasmine of Fla.
Stink weed in bloom
Growing out of your anus
You call it your head
by Anonymous Poet
From my shit you grow.
Fertilized words of anger.
Sprouting with hatred.
My words poured on you.
Polluted rain mutating.
See what you've become.
by Anonymous Poet
This tray of cookies
I'll just leave outside your door
Shh...iced with Jizzum
by Elf of Shelf
Sandy Hook ghosties
Hanging with Mr. Rosen
Where's the fire station?
by Nun with Tremondous feet and schlong
Christmas is cancelled
Santa Claus has a boner
Now that's a North Pole
by Mrs. Claus of Bedroom
North Pole telegram:
No presents. Just turds this year.
Some have corn kernels
by Santa of North Pole
Stuff the Christmas Cunt
Stockings? Fugheddaboddit.
Tidings of tuna
by Holly of Halls
Wooden drummer boy
Paradiddle diddle dong
Geppetophile Song
by Creep
Live Nativity
Copulating donkeys bray
Redolent dung piles
by Soylent Knight of On the scene
Sitting on the can
Making loud sucking noises
Care for a a Werther's?
by Dirty Old Man of Can
Kim Il Sung send out
Most glad tiding of Christmas
From happy Pyongyang
by Benevolent All-Wise Leader of People's Proletarian Vanguard
Angelic voices:
The celestial choirs of God.
Darth responds. More shit.
by No escape now. Christmas songs of glorious Gospel surround you
Just call me Stink Floyd
Another brick in the wall
Shit them out for free
Feed me tacos, beans
Free building materials
Great Wall of Feces
Tourist attraction
My dung bricks will attract flies
Call me Frank Lloyd Wrong
by Patent holder for Fecal Concrete of Brick Shithouse
"Waiting for the Worms."
Perfect Floyd song to poop to.
Careful with that Axe.
by Anonymous Poet
There are no poems.
Here there is only feces.
Acidic butt blasts.
by Diarrhea filled Super Soaker Squirt Gun Bank Robbery
Ebola Cola.
The Refreshing Hemorrhage!
Butt geyser blood spray.
by Carbonated hemoglobin goblin
Elf semen queef quaff
Yuletide cornhole in progress
Pop corn in your ass
by Andy Griffith's member of Peeking around the corner
Bent over your work
Jaws clenched. Furrowed, sweaty brow
Beating off again
by Your mother of Sow pen
Like the poetry
Diarrheal. Runs down leg
Embarrassing stains
by Pig joker of Hog Choker
Ebeneezer Spooge
Hot Monastery Gang Bang
But buttered ball sack
by It of Monastery
I likes fried frog legs.
They don' taste like no chicken.
Das jus booshe, man.
by Figpucker's Cajun cousin, Pierre.
Merry Motherfucking Christmas
and an Orgasm Inducing New Years
to you and your entire family,
especially the children and old people.
All you Kwanzaa and Chanukah/Hanukkah
freaks can just drown in a oil tanker
filled with rum egg nog and elf semen.
I will be celebrating
"Drink My Neighbors Piss Day"
this year with roast dog and crispy
deep fried tape worms.
And on the following day I will be
visiting as many Catholic Churches
as possible to taint their holy water
with my taint sweat.
by Darth Figpucker of Oy vay!
TOO!!!!! TOO stiff to wipe!
Jesus Christ, dude, so don't wipe.
It's overrated.
by
Thank you for wiping
I've got smelly arthritis
Arms to stiff to wipe
by Wilma Butteverbeclean of Latrine
When they frogmarch him
And his roadkill comb over
Straight to the Slammer
by Citizen of USA
Whose
by Whoozit of Starkitten
who's stains are those?
I think I know
His house is in the Phillipines, though
He will not see me here watching his pants fill up with flow (fecal)
by Robert Frostfucker of Starkitten's Yurt
The stains are well known.
There's nothing mysterious
about them at all.
Their circumference
directly proportional
to time on my ass.
by Anonymous Poet
You should boof my verse
to properly absorb it.
Shove it up your ass.
You're missing out with
olfactory absorption.
Fecal transplant fad.
You need some of my
dark side midichlorians
in your intestines.
Bend over and take
my vowels in your bowels.
The consonants too.
by df of incontinent consonants
Protractor in hand
Measuring something smelly
Mysterious stains
by Mathematical wizard of Study Hall
How to read Darth's verse:
Empty lungs.Shut eyes. Close mouth.
Inhale stench through nose.
by olfactory phylactery of limbic limbo
How to measure farts
One Mississippi, Two Mis..
Count until smell's gone
by +-4% margin of error of Downwind
Flat Stanley, you tool!
Peel you like Silly Putty
The Funny Papers
by Rollaboner of Woods behind the mall
Pewdiepie oopsie?
Not necessarily so
The media sucks
by Kokichi Ouma of under the hydraulic press
Oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink fart
by Pigfarter of Trough
Pavlov's dull response
salivate then ring my bell
your welcome to hell
by Anonymous Poet
