Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...


sarah jeong ill-sung:
no seoul dim sum in a-hole
pyongyang yin poontang
Haiku # 61318, December 18, 2018 11:40 am ET
by Carl Jeong of Old Vienna mit Kaffe-klatsch
How was your day, hon?
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll get you a beer.
Haiku # 61317, December 18, 2018 7:44 am ET
by Good wife.
Better time wasted
Examining your gonads
Big warts and all
Haiku # 61316, December 17, 2018 10:21 pm ET
by Doc
So Darwinian
Similarly simian
Abyssinian
Haiku # 61315, December 17, 2018 7:41 pm ET
by Haile Selassie of Detroit
Hair named Donald Trump.
He make me get furious.
Him bad president.
Haiku # 61314, December 17, 2018 7:31 pm ET
by Hair Apparent of Appalling Orange
Lucy was an ape
Not a proto-humanoid.
Sorry, Donald J.
Haiku # 61313, December 17, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by Omo Afar of Turkana Banana
Bleaching straightened hair
Qualifies as cultural
Appropriation
Haiku # 61312, December 17, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Great Mother Africa of Lapp-land
"Rat" is a mob term,
used for one who tells the truth
So yeah, Trump is right.
Haiku # 61311, December 17, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by Hahahahaha
Holiday Shopping
I'm buying you some more junk
Don't expect blow jobs
Haiku # 61310, December 17, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Shopper
Peaceful unicorn
Licking luscious lollipops
Farting rainbow dust
Haiku # 61309, December 17, 2018 3:05 am ET
by Yasmine of Fla.
Stink weed in bloom
Growing out of your anus
You call it your head
Haiku # 61308, December 17, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
From my shit you grow.
Fertilized words of anger.
Sprouting with hatred.

My words poured on you.
Polluted rain mutating.
See what you've become.
Haiku # 61307, December 16, 2018 11:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
This tray of cookies
I'll just leave outside your door
Shh...iced with Jizzum
Haiku # 61306, December 16, 2018 8:49 pm ET
by Elf of Shelf
Sandy Hook ghosties
Hanging with Mr. Rosen
Where's the fire station?
Haiku # 61305, December 16, 2018 8:46 pm ET
by Nun with Tremondous feet and schlong
Christmas is cancelled
Santa Claus has a boner
Now that's a North Pole
Haiku # 61304, December 16, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by Mrs. Claus of Bedroom
North Pole telegram:
No presents. Just turds this year.
Some have corn kernels
Haiku # 61303, December 16, 2018 8:40 pm ET
by Santa of North Pole
Stuff the Christmas Cunt
Stockings? Fugheddaboddit.
Tidings of tuna
Haiku # 61302, December 16, 2018 6:25 pm ET
by Holly of Halls
Wooden drummer boy
Paradiddle diddle dong
Geppetophile Song
Haiku # 61301, December 16, 2018 6:23 pm ET
by Creep
Live Nativity
Copulating donkeys bray
Redolent dung piles
Haiku # 61300, December 16, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Soylent Knight of On the scene
Sitting on the can
Making loud sucking noises
Care for a a Werther's?
Haiku # 61299, December 16, 2018 5:50 pm ET
by Dirty Old Man of Can
Kim Il Sung send out
Most glad tiding of Christmas
From happy Pyongyang
Haiku # 61298, December 16, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Benevolent All-Wise Leader of People's Proletarian Vanguard
Angelic voices:
The celestial choirs of God.
Darth responds. More shit.
Haiku # 61297, December 16, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by No escape now. Christmas songs of glorious Gospel surround you
Just call me Stink Floyd
Another brick in the wall
Shit them out for free

Feed me tacos, beans
Free building materials
Great Wall of Feces

Tourist attraction
My dung bricks will attract flies
Call me Frank Lloyd Wrong
Haiku # 61296, December 16, 2018 8:23 am ET
by Patent holder for Fecal Concrete of Brick Shithouse
"Waiting for the Worms."
Perfect Floyd song to poop to.
Careful with that Axe.
Haiku # 61295, December 16, 2018 6:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There are no poems.
Here there is only feces.
Acidic butt blasts.
Haiku # 61294, December 16, 2018 6:26 am ET
by Diarrhea filled Super Soaker Squirt Gun Bank Robbery
Ebola Cola.
The Refreshing Hemorrhage!
Butt geyser blood spray.
Haiku # 61293, December 16, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Carbonated hemoglobin goblin
Elf semen queef quaff
Yuletide cornhole in progress
Pop corn in your ass
Haiku # 61292, December 16, 2018 12:25 am ET
by Andy Griffith's member of Peeking around the corner
Bent over your work
Jaws clenched. Furrowed, sweaty brow
Beating off again
Haiku # 61291, December 16, 2018 12:23 am ET
by Your mother of Sow pen
Like the poetry
Diarrheal. Runs down leg
Embarrassing stains
Haiku # 61290, December 16, 2018 12:21 am ET
by Pig joker of Hog Choker
Ebeneezer Spooge
Hot Monastery Gang Bang
But buttered ball sack
Haiku # 61289, December 15, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by It of Monastery
I likes fried frog legs.
They don' taste like no chicken.
Das jus booshe, man.
Haiku # 61288, December 15, 2018 6:01 pm ET
by Figpucker's Cajun cousin, Pierre.
Merry Motherfucking Christmas
and an Orgasm Inducing New Years
to you and your entire family,
especially the children and old people.
All you Kwanzaa and Chanukah/Hanukkah
freaks can just drown in a oil tanker
filled with rum egg nog and elf semen.
I will be celebrating
"Drink My Neighbors Piss Day"
this year with roast dog and crispy
deep fried tape worms.
And on the following day I will be
visiting as many Catholic Churches
as possible to taint their holy water
with my taint sweat.
Haiku # 61287, December 15, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Oy vay!
TOO!!!!! TOO stiff to wipe!
Jesus Christ, dude, so don't wipe.
It's overrated.
Haiku # 61286, December 15, 2018 11:32 am ET
by
Thank you for wiping
I've got smelly arthritis
Arms to stiff to wipe
Haiku # 61285, December 15, 2018 7:15 am ET
by Wilma Butteverbeclean of Latrine
When they frogmarch him
And his roadkill comb over
Straight to the Slammer
Haiku # 61284, December 15, 2018 7:11 am ET
by Citizen of USA
Whose
Haiku # 61283, December 14, 2018 11:32 pm ET
by Whoozit of Starkitten
who's stains are those?
I think I know
His house is in the Phillipines, though
He will not see me here watching his pants fill up with flow (fecal)
Haiku # 61282, December 14, 2018 11:31 pm ET
by Robert Frostfucker of Starkitten's Yurt
The stains are well known.
There's nothing mysterious
about them at all.

Their circumference
directly proportional
to time on my ass.
Haiku # 61281, December 14, 2018 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You should boof my verse
to properly absorb it.
Shove it up your ass.

You're missing out with
olfactory absorption.
Fecal transplant fad.

You need some of my
dark side midichlorians
in your intestines.

Bend over and take
my vowels in your bowels.
The consonants too.
Haiku # 61280, December 14, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by df of incontinent consonants
Protractor in hand
Measuring something smelly
Mysterious stains
Haiku # 61279, December 14, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by Mathematical wizard of Study Hall
How to read Darth's verse:
Empty lungs.Shut eyes. Close mouth.
Inhale stench through nose.
Haiku # 61278, December 14, 2018 6:31 pm ET
by olfactory phylactery of limbic limbo
How to measure farts
One Mississippi, Two Mis..
Count until smell's gone
Haiku # 61277, December 14, 2018 4:49 pm ET
by +-4% margin of error of Downwind
Flat Stanley, you tool!
Peel you like Silly Putty
The Funny Papers
Haiku # 61276, December 14, 2018 4:40 pm ET
by Rollaboner of Woods behind the mall
Pewdiepie oopsie?
Not necessarily so
The media sucks
Haiku # 61275, December 14, 2018 3:49 pm ET
by Kokichi Ouma of under the hydraulic press
Oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink
Oink oink oink oink fart
Haiku # 61274, December 14, 2018 12:23 pm ET
by Pigfarter of Trough
Pavlov's dull response
salivate then ring my bell
your welcome to hell
Haiku # 61273, December 13, 2018 9:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That B.F. Skinner
was such a clever fellow
(conditionally)
Haiku # 61272, December 13, 2018 9:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Aquaman's hard cock
impregnated a dolphin
and three manatees.
Haiku # 61271, December 13, 2018 6:44 am ET
by
Bea Arthur's warm cunt
Golden sleeve dong hideaway
Hormones imbalanced
Haiku # 61270, December 13, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Schpunkhound
Personal Fart Churn
Yank yank yank just turn the crank
Large curdled butt curds
Haiku # 61269, December 13, 2018 4:53 am ET
by Maniacal Laughter
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