Bea Arthur's warm cunt
Golden sleeve dong hideaway
Hormones imbalanced

Personal Fart Churn
Yank yank yank just turn the crank
Large curdled butt curds

Nudist Colony
Have to make sure you wipe good
Or they will shun you

Um, no, not had them.
I am a gut parasite
What's it to ya, bud?

Have you ever had
intestinal parasites?
Worms or otherwise?

Who writes these poems?
Where do they get their ideas?
I can't think up one

Grandma's got a gun
So you better eat your pie
And get your chores done

Moist is moist. Moisture.
Moist is moist. Moisturizer.
Moist is moist. Moisten.

The results are in
Your ass stinks more than average
You can't sit with us

Lone mountain goat spew
Chasing the cyclists. Full moon
National Forest

Bears drinking bike grease
Masturbating in bushes
Your tax dough at work

Bending over now
Releasing menthane cargo
Fartmuscleworkout

Post-modern oceans:
poetry now lost at sea.
Muse overboard! (retch)

Outhouse bear attack
Only a matter of time
Til it happens, mate.

One lone mountain pine
Reflected in moonlight lake . . .
Darth takes a huge shit

Chuck and Nancy show:
Talking shit in the White House.
Think words as feces . . .

It's Evidence Based
Results-Focused best practice:
Outcome-Driven shit.

Where's the poetry?
Come on, sit on the toilet
Shit out a big Ode

He

Our prayers are answered
He

Watching zit popping.
Satisfying YouTube vids.
Like cream puffs gone bad.

"Excremeditation of Recrudescence"

That's original.
All I can say is "Fuck yeah!"
Shit is what you'll get.

Life is only shit.
Poems are life's reflections.
Mirrors smeared with shit.

Write "You are special!"
on bathroom walls of Starbuck's
with fecal smearing.

Hey weird Uncle Darth-
Can you release more Haiku?
Put shit in them please.

Think about it, k
The ark story. Kinda nuts.
Who believes that crap?

Be wary, very..
Dagger Toed Cassowary
That bird is scary

When it swallows you
Regurgitates your poems
Poops out a haiku

Huge saltwater croc.
Eats alligators for snacks.
And, yes, poets too.

Create Haiku Here
Dare other so called poets
To attempt the art

Alligator dink
Always erect. On a spring.
Did God think that up?

Oversized gator
I want you to be my friend
But you walk right by

I can't blame you though
Every time we've met, by chance
I have crapped my pants

The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.

Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?

Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor

Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth

Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.

Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .

Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup

You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o

John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South

Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.

Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !

Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick

God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.

first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle

Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray

Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?

* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell

Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants

Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench

If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench

Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit