Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku # 61230, December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET
by
first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku # 61229, December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET
by Off the Grid
Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku # 61228, December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET
by Windy of Tent
Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku # 61227, December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET
by I need to know
* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku # 61226, December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku # 61225, December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET
by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku # 61224, December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Thwack
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61223, December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Bears Repeating
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61222, December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku # 61221, December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET
by Buy more crap of Crap Store
He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku # 61220, December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET
by SK
Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku # 61219, December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku # 61218, December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Knitting
That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku # 61217, December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Not lost in the shuffle
Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku # 61216, December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku # 61215, December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET
by Kinfolk
Wishing for weasels
Please please please bring me weasels
Please, weasels this year
Haiku # 61214, December 6, 2018 7:53 am ET
by Good person
Haiku writer's cramp
Pain in the anal region
Poop out a poem
Haiku # 61213, December 6, 2018 7:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Plastic Christmas Tree
Comes with free Chinese person
Factory Escape
Haiku # 61212, December 6, 2018 7:46 am ET
by Buy more Junk of Junkpile
Eggnog enema
Run to the birdbath bidet
Snowman got hemorrhoids
Haiku # 61211, December 6, 2018 5:11 am ET
by Fang Tooth
Family Tradition
We wiped with the Sears Wish Book
Why the iPad's brown
Haiku # 61210, December 6, 2018 5:07 am ET
by Family member of Home
Hunched on my front lawn
Is that a drunk throwing up!?
Santa shitting.
Haiku # 61209, December 6, 2018 5:04 am ET
by Fudgemakers of Elf City
Bah Humbug, Poopstain!
I'll give you gift wrapped garbage
And a shrunken head
Haiku # 61208, December 6, 2018 4:58 am ET
by Secret Santa
Off in the distance
The farts of everyone else
Here on planet Earth
Haiku # 61207, December 6, 2018 4:56 am ET
by Sniffer of Earth
If Santa shows up
Jerking off on the sofa?
Here's your lump of coal
Haiku # 61206, December 6, 2018 4:53 am ET
by Radioactive Balls of Fukushima
Turtle head poking
Pull into the Shell station
Nothing. Just more gas.
Haiku # 61205, December 6, 2018 3:55 am ET
by Connie Stipated of Exit #2
McCephalopod
Review: Briney Aftertaste
Makes you shit eight times
Haiku # 61204, December 5, 2018 11:01 pm ET
by Filet O Flush
What's the point of a
Goddamned plastic Christmas tree?
Hail Saturnalia!
Haiku # 61203, December 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by nAtuRal yuLeTide of nAzArEtH
Hurt yet, mes amis?
Should have voted for Le Pen,
silly French masses.
Haiku # 61202, December 5, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Allons enfants de la Patrie Le jour de gloire est arrivé ! Contre nous de la tyrannie, L'étendard sanglant est le
A bird in the hand --
Sorry . . . a Bush in the grave
Worth two in White House
Haiku # 61201, December 5, 2018 9:23 am ET
by New World Odor of Decomposition
A bird in the hand
Haiku # 61200, December 5, 2018 9:21 am ET
by New World Odor of Putrefaction
Syllables, huh?
A Shitty Haiku? Fuck you.
Why the fuck not, hm?
Haiku # 61199, December 5, 2018 1:42 am ET
by Vector Based AssHat of Somewhere North Of The Equator
i wonder what you're
like to chat with...unleash you
on tumblrs...website...
Haiku # 61198, December 5, 2018 12:09 am ET
by vhs
Sir, the choice is yours
Desert Death/Penis Ice Pick
The Iceman Cometh
Haiku # 61197, December 4, 2018 11:29 pm ET
by Last time
Because they are smart,
I will not eat octopi.
Future sentient.

Could be that one day
they'll be eating our offspring,
jests how gross we look.
Haiku # 61196, December 4, 2018 10:11 pm ET
by df
Better if they're live.
Live tentacles can choke you.
Swallow them and die.

Revenge of the squid.
Its ink will write your obit.
What a joke you'll be.
Haiku # 61195, December 4, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by df
Weird Japanese snack:
Grilled tentacle on a stick.
(Suckers for sea-food.)
Haiku # 61194, December 4, 2018 11:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Don't forget panties.
Worn panty vending machines.
Samurai offspring.
Haiku # 61193, December 4, 2018 1:36 am ET
by df
Japanese are weird.
Get too excited about
Shopping and strange food
Haiku # 61192, December 3, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
OFF Kanagawa.
Hawaiians would have surfed it.
Japanese are punks.
Haiku # 61191, December 3, 2018 4:23 am ET
by df
Check out CNN
Great Wave of Kanagawa
Featured there today
Haiku # 61190, December 3, 2018 12:15 am ET
by Sk
Problem is can't lie
Like George Washington. Cherry tree.
Bad breath. Wooden teeth
Haiku # 61189, December 2, 2018 11:37 pm ET
by Martha PacificNorthwestington
Say you're a victim!
You can get tons of money!
Buy lots of dildos.
Haiku # 61188, December 2, 2018 9:49 pm ET
by FIGPUCKER, FIGPUCKER, & FIGPUCKER Attorneys at Law
Wasn't a victim
Jared only had six inch
I ordered foot long
Haiku # 61187, December 2, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by Go big or Go Home
Ronald stole my soul.
That damn Monopoly game.
And, Christ, it was rigged!

Ronald McDonald
is, I am sure, the Devil.
Or the antichrist.

Still, that's better than
what Jarred had stole from you,
underage hooker.
Haiku # 61186, December 2, 2018 6:08 pm ET
by df
Ronald McDonald
Stole your soul decades ago
Can't have it your way
Haiku # 61185, December 2, 2018 3:42 pm ET
by Burger King of Castle
Poem McNuggets.
Will they taste better if you
dip them in my sauce?
Haiku # 61184, December 2, 2018 12:22 pm ET
by df
The poet(s) in here
Anonymously leave behind
Nuggets of pure art
Haiku # 61183, December 2, 2018 9:20 am ET
by Chatondetoille
vhs is darth
starkitten is someone else
anonymous who
Haiku # 61182, December 2, 2018 8:44 am ET
by Taki Sukitofigan
Packed holiday fudge
For the priest and postman,
UPS Go Brown
Haiku # 61181, December 2, 2018 4:04 am ET
by Quite A. Package of Left at Back Door
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