Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Grandma's got a gun
So you better eat your pie
And get your chores done
Haiku # 61264, December 12, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by Grandma of Kitchen
Moist is moist. Moisture.
Moist is moist. Moisturizer.
Moist is moist. Moisten.
Haiku # 61263, December 12, 2018 11:52 pm ET
by Wet one
The results are in
Your ass stinks more than average
You can't sit with us
Haiku # 61262, December 12, 2018 10:57 pm ET
by Diners of Restaurant
Lone mountain goat spew
Chasing the cyclists. Full moon
National Forest

Bears drinking bike grease
Masturbating in bushes
Your tax dough at work
Haiku # 61261, December 12, 2018 10:54 pm ET
by Onlooker
Bending over now
Releasing menthane cargo
Fartmuscleworkout
Haiku # 61260, December 12, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by Pigfycker
Post-modern oceans:
poetry now lost at sea.
Muse overboard! (retch)
Haiku # 61259, December 12, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Outhouse bear attack
Only a matter of time
Til it happens, mate.
Haiku # 61258, December 12, 2018 6:41 am ET
by Expert
One lone mountain pine
Reflected in moonlight lake . . .
Darth takes a huge shit
Haiku # 61257, December 12, 2018 4:38 am ET
by meant to say "peristaltic" of Peristalsis
Chuck and Nancy show:
Talking shit in the White House.
Think words as feces . . .
Haiku # 61256, December 12, 2018 4:34 am ET
by Persitaltic Contractions of Elimination
It's Evidence Based
Results-Focused best practice:
Outcome-Driven shit.
Haiku # 61255, December 12, 2018 4:28 am ET
by professional objectives of objectionable perspectives
Where's the poetry?
Come on, sit on the toilet
Shit out a big Ode
Haiku # 61254, December 12, 2018 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
He
Haiku # 61253, December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Our prayers are answered
He
Haiku # 61252, December 11, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Buddy Butt Brown of Stinkytown
Watching zit popping.
Satisfying YouTube vids.
Like cream puffs gone bad.

"Excremeditation of Recrudescence"

That's original.
All I can say is "Fuck yeah!"
Shit is what you'll get.

Life is only shit.
Poems are life's reflections.
Mirrors smeared with shit.

Write "You are special!"
on bathroom walls of Starbuck's
with fecal smearing.
Haiku # 61251, December 11, 2018 3:37 pm ET
by Go! Do it now! By orders of General Darth Figpucker, High Commander of Aesthetic Asault, 9th Level of Hell Battalion
Hey weird Uncle Darth-
Can you release more Haiku?
Put shit in them please.
Haiku # 61250, December 11, 2018 2:45 pm ET
by Excremeditation of Recrudescence
Think about it, k
The ark story. Kinda nuts.
Who believes that crap?
Haiku # 61249, December 11, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Be wary, very..
Dagger Toed Cassowary
That bird is scary
Haiku # 61248, December 11, 2018 12:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When it swallows you
Regurgitates your poems
Poops out a haiku
Haiku # 61247, December 10, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by Person of Nature
Huge saltwater croc.
Eats alligators for snacks.
And, yes, poets too.
Haiku # 61246, December 10, 2018 7:45 pm ET
by Assqueef Ass of Cuntfart cunt's cousin (on mother's side).
Create Haiku Here
Dare other so called poets
To attempt the art
Haiku # 61245, December 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by Poet of On high
Alligator dink
Always erect. On a spring.
Did God think that up?
Haiku # 61244, December 10, 2018 12:43 am ET
by God is Good of At weird shit
Oversized gator
I want you to be my friend
But you walk right by

I can't blame you though
Every time we've met, by chance
I have crapped my pants
Haiku # 61243, December 9, 2018 10:16 pm ET
by Scared
The answer is yes.
Oversized alligators
exist, and you're high.

Perhaps try rehab.
You must quit boofing bath salts.
Eat gator gumbo.
Haiku # 61242, December 9, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by
Night of the Grizzly
Wake up covered with scratches
Where is my honey?
Haiku # 61241, December 9, 2018 8:16 pm ET
by Hungry Bear
Drink Worcestershire Sauce
It's good for what ails you, dude
Unwrap the flavor
Haiku # 61240, December 9, 2018 8:14 pm ET
by Lea and Perrins
Do you believe them?
Oversized alligators
Florida golf course

Photoshop, no?
Or am I high on bath salts?
Need to know the Truth
Haiku # 61239, December 9, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by Confused
Dumb Amerikans:
You must start writing Haiku.
Future waits on you.
Haiku # 61238, December 9, 2018 3:52 pm ET
by put that in yr smite and poke it.
Fa La La La La
La La La La. Hark the
Haiku angels sing . . .
Haiku # 61237, December 9, 2018 2:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Uh huh uh huh yup
Uh huh uh huh yup uh huh
Uh huh uh huh yup
Haiku # 61236, December 8, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by Uh huh
You just don't get it
The best poetry is farts
You gone daddy-o
Haiku # 61235, December 8, 2018 12:46 am ET
by Pffffffft
John Boy Walton's mole's
Enormous erect penis
Rising from the South
Haiku # 61234, December 7, 2018 5:16 pm ET
by Nothing else Rising Down South of North
Hey Macron, you cuck
Ready for your global gig?
Saturday is here.
Haiku # 61233, December 7, 2018 4:22 pm ET
by Contre Nous de la Tyrannie of Death to Globalism
Skynard: "Oooh that smell"
(South's gonnna rise agin, bro)
Get gas-masks ready !
Haiku # 61232, December 7, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Suthern ROCK methane inspection team 666
Elevator Ride
Standing sardines. Release of gas.
The world's oldest trick
Haiku # 61231, December 7, 2018 3:11 pm ET
by You better believe it of Elevator
God made them like "dinks"
so you could write a poem.
That's His love for you.
Haiku # 61230, December 7, 2018 1:38 pm ET
by
first time I saw one
I tried to peel it open
Like a banana

Or like shucking corn
Or molesting a scarecrow
With a broom handle
Haiku # 61229, December 7, 2018 6:03 am ET
by Off the Grid
Sleeping in a tent
Wise to eat beans every night
Better than bear spray
Haiku # 61228, December 7, 2018 4:09 am ET
by Windy of Tent
Hey all you fun guys
When GOD created mushrooms
Why make them like dinks?
Haiku # 61227, December 7, 2018 4:03 am ET
by I need to know
* Thwack may or may not be Edie Brickell
Haiku # 61226, December 7, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Famous movie line
We still have Paristalsis..
Evidence in pants
Haiku # 61225, December 7, 2018 12:55 am ET
by G. Shalit - Hal = G. Shit of Rest Room
Forget frying pans
Those are for cooking breakfast
And husband control
Haiku # 61224, December 7, 2018 12:52 am ET
by Thwack
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61223, December 7, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Bears Repeating
If a bear attacks
Defecate and save your life
Unbearable stench
Haiku # 61222, December 7, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Does the bear shit in the woods? of Dunno, but I do
Now just imagine it
Virtual Reality
While you take a shit
Haiku # 61221, December 7, 2018 12:47 am ET
by Buy more crap of Crap Store
He likes to floor it
So don't let the name fool you
Vrooooooooooooooom! Carefree Highway
Haiku # 61220, December 6, 2018 9:42 pm ET
by SK
Yes, prefer Lightfoot
to fecal-filth overload.
Verse should rise above . . .
Haiku # 61219, December 6, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Digestive Contractions of Peristalsis
Taking up knitting
So Gordon Lightfoot can watch
Meow, Knit one, PURR-l two.
Haiku # 61218, December 6, 2018 8:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Knitting
That's me. You know it.
Tap dancing on your sidewalk.
I will never stop!
Haiku # 61217, December 6, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by Not lost in the shuffle
Darth speaks through anus
His verse reverts to poop-filth
Smeared all over. Sigh.
Haiku # 61216, December 6, 2018 4:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bought Grandpa's present
Werther's truck backing up now
Oh yeah, and some lube
Haiku # 61215, December 6, 2018 7:55 am ET
by Kinfolk
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >