I hope that I know when I'm going to die so that I can post on Farcebook, I AM DARTH FIGPUCKER, to shame my whole family. That way they will hate me and not mourn me at all. Save them the trouble. Cremate me, flush my ashes down the nearest toilet. Save money that way.
by df
I miss elections.
I used to shit on porches
of republicans.
Never shat in sinks.
I mean, why waste a good turd?
Each turd can be art!
by df of Express Thyself!
Of course I'm joking.
My life: haiku, sudoku.
Sudoku, haiku.
No nipple biting.
the bee's knees and wasp's nipples.
Erogenous bugs.
I realized something.
Being immortal would suck.
I feel bad for God.
God or the Devil.
They will never know the end.
And its sweet release.
by df
So much backed up shit
Procrastinating colon
I
by Overheard of Public Restroom
Nivea fetish
A self proclaimed sink shitter
That guy has small feet
by Census Taker
Please bite my nipples.
Go ahead and make them bleed.
It's better than milk.
by df
When feeling useless,
and you have nothing to say,
blow it out your ass.
Or write a haiku.
The whole world will be amazed.
I am so awesome!
by DARTH SHRINKING BRAIN FIGPUCKER of I would like some brain parasites to go with my head injury. Maybe I could forget my wife.
It's like the Cups song
Except you use cut off dicks
Miss 'em when they're gone
by Anonymous Poet
Spend our lives waiting
The suspense is killing me
I can hardly wait
by Anonymous Poet
Good Old Ceiling Cat
He's been watching you do that
And that's an eyeful
by Anonymous Poet
In the waiting room
That's where we do our waiting
We're in here waiting
by Waitstaff of Waiting Room
Let me show you
My intergluteal cleft
Conversation piece
by Anonymous Poet
Boner compass
Lost in the town of Pleasure
Tiny hands. Raking.
by Anonymous Poet
Ass gas no jiggle
Always welcome for dinner
It's All You Can Eat
by Anonymous Poet
I hate statistics.
Even more than statistics,
I hate stats teachers.
I hypothesize
that your ass is hippo-sized.
Supersized your fries.
by df of hypothesize this!
Neither one wore clothes.
They toed each other asses.
More so at dinner.
by df
All the oceans depths
can't contain the filth that flows
from our bad haiku.
Warn the EPA!
Eviscerated Poets
Abnormality.
or something
by df
Putrid waters flow . . .
All filth washed away to sea.
Hail, cleansing ocean!
by Figpucker's body fluids mixed with solid waste of Starkitten's library
In the waiting room
A perfect time for Haiku
But what shall I say?
by Anonymous Poet
You're levitating!
Oh wait, it's just your penis
Not a magician
by Hairy Houdini
Urinate Freestyle
Full Bladder Parkour. Rad.
Piss everyone off
by I.P Freely of Everywhere
I have peed in sinks.
Only in public restrooms.
Never my own house.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
As for the toilet
Nothing is perfect. Cracked seat
Matches my cracked seat
Ever peed in a sink?
by Urine Goodhands
In with the In Crowd
Bagels and Lox In forehead
Pocky sticks in nose
by Booger Picker of Radioactivity
Haiku decompose
The Orient shopping mall
Lies, lies and more LIES.
by Jap Conformists of Nipponese plastic
Because you are you
by Not Edie Brickell
Just because you
by Anonymous Poet
Tis I, little buddy
You are my super hero
Just because you
by Missing haiku of Baked in the neighborhood
Toilet has broken
And the shatbird has spoken
My GIANT HINDER
by Fat Stevens of Youssoff my toilet or I call the authorities
by Mysterion and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. baked solid
by Mysterion and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. We are baked
by Mysterious and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. We are baked
Kenny, is that you?!
Kenny's superhero name
is Mysterion.
by df -- south park fan to the bitter end!
Don't break the toilet.
By weight or explosive force.
Porcelain ain't cheap!
by df
Enormous hind end
Bearing down hard and grunting
To be continued...
by Mysterio
The night settles down.
Or at least you think it does.
Until you hear it.
by the hair of the god
Charlie wasn't bad.
Just made a poor career choice.
True standup comic.
by df
In a funny way
Oscar is like Charles Manson
Except much more green
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Gentle Big Bird
You know he's the one for me
Hide under his wing
by Starkitten of Under Big Bird's Wing
Oscar was my fave.
But I think now it's The Count.
Cookie Monster's cool.
I'm sure he smokes pot.
Always getting the munchies.
But so lethargic.
The Count's a demon.
Can't drink Burt and Ernie's blood.
'Cause he might get AIDS.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Rubbing your head
Don't strain when you are pooping
I'm counting on you
by Starkitten of Near dishwasher
Skateboard accident.
Now that's one cool way to die.
I could live with that.
by df -- sadly going to live
Me taking a dump.
Queen alien laying eggs.
Looks about the same.
by df of This effing head pain can kiss my distended rectum!
I killed a poor bug.
It looked like a mosquito.
Casualty of war.
by df
Okay, no haiku here...
My head, they think, will be okay in time.
The hematoma is too small to bother operating on for now. But it needs to be monitored w/ CT scan every so often.
But this means I should not drink or take drugs, which really sucks, and that's not going to happen. I think in about 6 months or so, it will be okay.
Age makes people more susceptible to this type of injury b/c the brain shrinks and pulls away from the skull over time, putting tension on the veins b/w the brain and the skull. So any jarring of the head can make the brain move around and make those veins rip. Fun stuff.
For now, the pain is off and on, but I think decreasing over time. I can still function and work, so... that's my story.
Kind of wish it would have ended me. Skateboarding would have been a cool way to die. I could live with that.
by df
I had a long with
with Mister DF, I hope
he is ok, soon
by vhs of keep on truckin
Did they operate
On your head Figpucker friend?
I hope you are ok
by Starkitten
My head hurts so bad,
I want to remove my brain.
Feed it to the pigs.
by df
Cegno do this now
Sometimes Starkitten bossy
So, I
by Cegno
I have never been
To the heart of this city
Worry of mugging
by Cegno
