Putrid waters flow . . .
All filth washed away to sea.
Hail, cleansing ocean!
by Figpucker's body fluids mixed with solid waste of Starkitten's library
In the waiting room
A perfect time for Haiku
But what shall I say?
by Anonymous Poet
You're levitating!
Oh wait, it's just your penis
Not a magician
by Hairy Houdini
Urinate Freestyle
Full Bladder Parkour. Rad.
Piss everyone off
by I.P Freely of Everywhere
I have peed in sinks.
Only in public restrooms.
Never my own house.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
As for the toilet
Nothing is perfect. Cracked seat
Matches my cracked seat
Ever peed in a sink?
by Urine Goodhands
In with the In Crowd
Bagels and Lox In forehead
Pocky sticks in nose
by Booger Picker of Radioactivity
Haiku decompose
The Orient shopping mall
Lies, lies and more LIES.
by Jap Conformists of Nipponese plastic
Because you are you
by Not Edie Brickell
Just because you
by Anonymous Poet
Tis I, little buddy
You are my super hero
Just because you
by Missing haiku of Baked in the neighborhood
Toilet has broken
And the shatbird has spoken
My GIANT HINDER
by Fat Stevens of Youssoff my toilet or I call the authorities
by Mysterion and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. baked solid
by Mysterion and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. We are baked
by Mysterious and Mr. Rogers of Joint effort. We are baked
Kenny, is that you?!
Kenny's superhero name
is Mysterion.
by df -- south park fan to the bitter end!
Don't break the toilet.
By weight or explosive force.
Porcelain ain't cheap!
by df
Enormous hind end
Bearing down hard and grunting
To be continued...
by Mysterio
The night settles down.
Or at least you think it does.
Until you hear it.
by the hair of the god
Charlie wasn't bad.
Just made a poor career choice.
True standup comic.
by df
In a funny way
Oscar is like Charles Manson
Except much more green
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Gentle Big Bird
You know he's the one for me
Hide under his wing
by Starkitten of Under Big Bird's Wing
Oscar was my fave.
But I think now it's The Count.
Cookie Monster's cool.
I'm sure he smokes pot.
Always getting the munchies.
But so lethargic.
The Count's a demon.
Can't drink Burt and Ernie's blood.
'Cause he might get AIDS.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Rubbing your head
Don't strain when you are pooping
I'm counting on you
by Starkitten of Near dishwasher
Skateboard accident.
Now that's one cool way to die.
I could live with that.
by df -- sadly going to live
Me taking a dump.
Queen alien laying eggs.
Looks about the same.
by df of This effing head pain can kiss my distended rectum!
I killed a poor bug.
It looked like a mosquito.
Casualty of war.
by df
Okay, no haiku here...
My head, they think, will be okay in time.
The hematoma is too small to bother operating on for now. But it needs to be monitored w/ CT scan every so often.
But this means I should not drink or take drugs, which really sucks, and that's not going to happen. I think in about 6 months or so, it will be okay.
Age makes people more susceptible to this type of injury b/c the brain shrinks and pulls away from the skull over time, putting tension on the veins b/w the brain and the skull. So any jarring of the head can make the brain move around and make those veins rip. Fun stuff.
For now, the pain is off and on, but I think decreasing over time. I can still function and work, so... that's my story.
Kind of wish it would have ended me. Skateboarding would have been a cool way to die. I could live with that.
by df
I had a long with
with Mister DF, I hope
he is ok, soon
by vhs of keep on truckin
Did they operate
On your head Figpucker friend?
I hope you are ok
by Starkitten
My head hurts so bad,
I want to remove my brain.
Feed it to the pigs.
by df
Cegno do this now
Sometimes Starkitten bossy
So, I
by Cegno
I have never been
To the heart of this city
Worry of mugging
by Cegno
No room for error
When you find your hand has stuck
To what you has thieved
by Cegno
Impersonal self
The derealization
Need 4 cigarettes
by Cegno of Roof
On the roof. Smoking.
So I endure fear of height
This makes me nervous
by Cegno of Roof
Office Holiday
A party I may attend
Inebriated
by Cegno of Certain
Overconfident
My colleague boasts. I stay quiet
Boss wife favor me
by Cegno
I can say it here
This spaceship has been removed
To remote cavern
by Cegno of Beyond
I read their remarks
Tried to keep an open mind
The taste was not good
by Cegno of Yelp of restaurant
Half the time I wait
For the signal to transmit
Before I dare breathe
by Cegno
From the time you start
You have never had a chance
I don
by Anonymous Poet
Come on vhs.
Nothing we do will matter.
Nor antimatter.
You need to just be.
Whatever it is you are.
Even a poet.
Well, that's pretty low.
Or maybe a garbage man.
Or a bank robber.
Just do it.
Why ask why?
Celebrate the moments of your life.
It keeps going and going and going...
and stops.
by df of Pardon Me, But Do You Have any Grey Poupon?
It was a mistake
Used my dick as toilet snake
Ruined my own plumbing
by Anonymous Poet
Tortoises fucking.
They make the funniest sounds.
But then, so do we.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxLdklbuj0
by df
Fuck you if I'll eat
hard boiled duck embryos.
Not for stinky farts.
Pomelo fruit's best
for stinky farts like a skunk.
Durian, less so.
When I see balut.
It's aborted Daffy Duck.
I just can't do that.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Familiar Tortoise
Face kinda looks like Crowley
Oh yeah, Barbara Bush!
Look, there's another
Parachuting down to earth
Cue: "Let's get it on ..."
by Zoo goer of Zoo
Stealthy dragonfly.
Lands softly on the tortoise.
Foghat's "Slow Ride" plays.
by the hair of the dog
My name was Cegno
They confiscated my smokes
Kept me in small room
Interrogation
I answered all their questions
And they let me go
by Cegno
