like when i do the
recapatcha it won't load
on my tablet right now

that's not exactly
what I'm saying, my hardware
is acting weird now

so say how to fix
a wonky samsung tablet
or opera browser?

Don't go, vhs
Think of our mental health
We're a little off

Bend it like Posh Spice
Origami of the dink
Tattooed wrinkle stick

stuff isn't working for
me like it should so i think
things will be off now

I'm a bad mo-fo.
Ate toasted bagel, cream cheese,
with kimchi on it.

And to top that off
old durian for dessert.
A deadly combo.

But, to be honest,
I'm not a total bad-ass.
The cream cheese was "lite".

Tomorrow dog brain
pate on rye, sauerkraut,
garlic, and goat cheese.

David Letterman
Stars in all my fantasies
Even with the beard

Fired up on Vegemite
Punching kangaroos out cold
Wissing on the flowers

Meow meow meow #MeToo
Seeking justice against perv
David Letterman

Chainsaw starts at dawn
He rushes outside quickly
And sprays them with hose

these yellow flowers
quiet shy souls of nature
wait to be noticed

David Letterman
Leapt to my desk like a cat
Showed me his ding dong

Don't use mobile app
Online deposit function
Sperm on iPad screen

Hey, Look out below...
If we still used chamber pots
And had good manners

Invent something, dude
Rubic's Haikube or board game
Mow some lawns, paper route

Don't let others help.
They only get in the way.
Be your own boss-man.

All year long you will
be employee of the month.
But there's a downside.

Masturbation is
workplace sexual assault
when you're self-employed.

Own your own sperm bank.
Self-enjoyed is self-employed.
Deposit withdrawals.

Think about it
African American
Elon Musk is one

old t shirt for sale
on email website, the quiet
bookstore nook i found

still exists...goodbye
malfunctioning internet world
hello meat space again

this had better work
lord vader... we are risking
much with this gamble...

things aren't working
like I'd like because i let
others help me out

disgust, fear, anger
frustration, demonstrations
rhetoric

Haikupotamous
Plugged up Snuffleupagus
Giant Enema

Wringing my hands now
How could God let this happen
Why is He so mean?

Neanderthal child
Sesame Street on Lockdown
Big Bird ate the kid

Just ate a burger
I figure nothing to lose
Morgellons. It's Hell

I want hamburgers.
I know, beef is bad for you.
As bad as Thai whores?

Raw, bloody, with AIDS,
and addicted to strange drugs.
The cows, not the whores.

I would be jailed there
My feet are very ugly
They don't smell bad though

What I liked best was
the stir-fried insects, but don't
buy from street vendors.

Too much MSG.
I like my bugs natural.
Honest bug dealer.

heh heh...

Leaving wife and kids?
Gautauma Sidhartha would
know all about that.

He whored around too.
Said he was under a tree.
They believed that shit!

Say that in Thailand
and you'll spend life in prison.
Fucking religion.

Bite the monkeys back.
Your responsibility.
You have to teach them.

A whiz with numbers
Born with eleven fingers
That's just on one hand

Old Mr. Fritzl
Enjoyed Thailand Vacation
Left the family home

I have a webbed ass
The crack starts. Stops. Starts again.
Thank you for your time

The biting monkeys
Attacked them on Thailand trip
Extended Vacay

Haiku of Hardware
Refrigerators
More bad refrigerators
Refrigerator

One Mississipi
Two Mississipi rivers
Three Mississipi
(Haiku of Waiting)

Poems are weird
Haikus are way weirder than-
Limited syllab-

Been to Thailand twice.
The sex and the food are great.
I recommend it.

They stopped for Funyuns
Shared impulse to rob the store
Clerk tied to a chair

Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk
Autumn Goose Festival Time
Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk

Imagine D.P.
Moved to Thailand for the sex
Or was it the food?

The clock is ticking.
Thirty minutes to whore time.
Suck that dollar dick.

Mathematical
prostitution profession
makes me hate people.

Guess it beats starving.
Got bills to feed, kids to pay.
Or something like that.

Fucking straight lines.
y equals m x plus b.
Who can't do that shit?!

Rich spoiled Arabs.
Oil wealth makes them lazy.
Lucky me, I guess.

The Sphinx's sphincter
Don't want blue tincture pee pee.
Drinked her blue lotus.

Finally reached the Sphinx
Tried to fuck it up the ass
Never left the couch

Sand in my anus
Soldiering on. Sunburnt crisp.
Stopped to wank once

Unbelievable
Epic crotch rot and chafing
Crossing the desert

Don't drink the water
We were thirsty. Drank it all
Started pissing blue

Bone dry camel's dung
Crumbled. Rolled up in Zig Zags
Walked like Egyptians

Monsters at the gate.
Should I allow them access?
They enjoy my flute.

Hoisted her hiney.
Tiny shiny vaginy.
Tastes rather briny.