Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 109 Days and 76933 Haiku later...

All you crazy kids
With your new fangled haikus
You get off my lawn
Haiku # 59706, September 26, 2018 2:12 pm ET
by dvd
Omm mahamantra
Sambalparam srinivas
Hum sat. Some such thing.
Haiku # 59705, September 26, 2018 12:39 pm ET
by selling meaningless sounds of mysticism, I make a prophet
Topographic bliss
between her beautiful breasts:
Silicone Valley
Haiku # 59704, September 26, 2018 12:04 pm ET
by the swelling currents of the mighty Brahmaputra
OK -- well, maybe
"User-Friendly" Hinduism
(Silicon Valley) ?
Haiku # 59703, September 26, 2018 11:58 am ET
by the data-driven smiles of IT executives
Graveyard devotees:
the Left-hand path, eating filth...
fast-food of the gods.
Haiku # 59702, September 26, 2018 11:53 am ET
by the flaming pyres, we behold the smoke of those who were once spiritual
Sacred rite of Chod:
corpse becomes animated
(but still not mated)
Haiku # 59701, September 26, 2018 11:48 am ET
by drinking from skulls of great Yogis, you get buzzed WAY faster
Oh my Bollywood...
Such singing and such dancing:
celestial splendor.
Haiku # 59700, September 26, 2018 11:44 am ET
by Shree Amma Yanger Ayyapan of Sivakasi, Madras State, (present-day Tamil Nadu), India
I refuse to stop
until ALL of your chakras
align. Cash jackpot!
Haiku # 59699, September 26, 2018 11:42 am ET
by signing in Indo-European language of your choice, legal rights waived
Where are you at, man?.
Welcome to Kali-Yuga,
portal of Brahman
Haiku # 59698, September 26, 2018 11:38 am ET
by having six arms, variation of chutnies greatly increased
Eat soma, and then
eat some more soma. And then,
wake up in E.R.
Haiku # 59697, September 26, 2018 11:33 am ET
by partaking liberally of Soma, Hindu gods make sense
Her aura entwines
around my cosmic god-head...
Wait! I'm a woman.
Haiku # 59696, September 26, 2018 11:30 am ET
by reversing polarities of gender, veil of Maya dissolves
There's Hatha-Yoga,
Bhakti and Raja-Yoga;
and boy do they SELL !
Haiku # 59695, September 26, 2018 11:27 am ET
by Sri Devi of Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, Malayalam, and Kannada films
Devi Yoga-Mat:
Able to cleanse her third eye
with her own lingam
Haiku # 59694, September 26, 2018 11:22 am ET
by the look of the pose, clothes should be worn
Her yoni got stuck
so deep within my lingam
thought I had THIRD EYE !
Haiku # 59693, September 26, 2018 11:12 am ET
by misinterpreting the mysteries of Tantric Yoga, fake guru sells way more books
She charges for class
But she herself has no class:
Devi Yoga-Mat !
Haiku # 59692, September 26, 2018 11:05 am ET
by the smoldering ghats of the Aryan idols
She's not even saved
but you can listen for days:
Mistress Yoga-Mat
Haiku # 59691, September 26, 2018 10:59 am ET
by the filthy waters of the Ganges
Mistress Yoga-Mat:
Spiritually flexible,
but still super HOT!
Haiku # 59690, September 26, 2018 10:56 am ET
by the roots of the great banyan at the great Banyan at Varanasi
if i lay an egg
i am dreaming told a bad joke
or need to go to

the ER, it might be
quite seriously, funny...
i didnt order it
Haiku # 59689, September 26, 2018 9:00 am ET
by vhs
whats that movie i saw
i got a laugh about, i think
invasion of the bee

girls, they will shag you
to why not bee girls
catching men, bee men?

sorry, still recovering from mst3k here
Haiku # 59688, September 26, 2018 8:52 am ET
by vhs
Not impotent rage!
More tolerable incensed...
Haiku # 59687, September 26, 2018 1:53 am ET
by QueenBee of the hive.
Queen's little jester,
whatever happens.
Haiku # 59686, September 25, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by QueenBee of the hive.
the beez buzz in their
hivez, i see and walk away
so i donz get stungzzz
Haiku # 59685, September 25, 2018 11:24 pm ET
by vhs
Megalomaniac stink,
divine average.
Haiku # 59684, September 25, 2018 9:59 pm ET
by QueenBee of the hive.
I appreciate
human personality.
Bluster forth an egg.
Haiku # 59683, September 25, 2018 9:51 pm ET
by QueenBee of the hive.
just if it throws shit
make sure you get a garden
in response right there
Haiku # 59682, September 25, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by vhs
I'm stubborn, might see
faith as an adaptive trope
marx saw, opiate

if it works, roll with it
Haiku # 59681, September 25, 2018 9:42 pm ET
by vhs
Central Anarchist:
transient passionate love
Haiku # 59680, September 25, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by QueenBee of the hive.
I get sick of it
Die so that Life can begin
Faith in God no help
Haiku # 59679, September 25, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
hmm politics trumps
reality, games of power
the word, or sword
Haiku # 59678, September 25, 2018 9:35 pm ET
by vhs
quite the story quite
all these stories we tell take
a left handed turn
Haiku # 59677, September 25, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by vhs
Unrighteous Brother
Perverted Trappist monk
Boys trapped in cellar
Haiku # 59676, September 25, 2018 8:10 pm ET
by Hey, I thought you folks were making jelly
We've not yet sunk to
the level of priests raping
little kids haiku.

So then be thankful
when wet poo is thrown at you
by dumb gorillas.
Haiku # 59675, September 25, 2018 8:01 pm ET
kindling fire burn
wood you mind if i just watched
the leaves all turn red???
Haiku # 59674, September 25, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by vhs of go bobbing for apples
Does Tommy throw poo?
Banana and rum on ice.
Shaken, not peed in.
Haiku # 59673, September 25, 2018 7:50 pm ET
Tommy Pooflinger
Has been named the next James Bond
He's a gorilla
Haiku # 59672, September 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET
by Roving Reports
Everything went wrong.
I tried to be ready but
traffic, God, and rain.
Haiku # 59671, September 25, 2018 6:55 pm ET
by the time I arrived, of course, it was a washout.
Drank two daiquiris
last night; banana of course.
Time to throw more poo.
Haiku # 59670, September 25, 2018 5:07 pm ET
Fifty years ago
My father punched Phil Spector
In an elevator
Haiku # 59669, September 25, 2018 4:54 pm ET
by Starkitten
Prehistoric Porn
Dildo: Wooly Mammoth Horn
Flintstone getting hard
Haiku # 59668, September 25, 2018 4:51 pm ET
by Starkitten of One million strong and Growing...
All That Gorilla!
Dianne Fossey. Bob Fossey.
This show can't be "MIst"
Haiku # 59667, September 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Starkitten Productions
Banana Cream Pie
Does not contain bananas
Does not contain cream
Haiku # 59666, September 25, 2018 4:29 pm ET
by Baked Chef of Starkittenworld of Empty Pantry. Cooking with one ingredient: Dirty Mind
on and on and on
Haiku # 59665, September 25, 2018 3:15 pm ET
by Some guy that once looked at pic of a naked Haiku Geisha playing her Koto
The firm sweet white fruit,
peel flung carelessly aside...
Ah --- those bananas.
Haiku # 59664, September 25, 2018 3:11 pm ET
by Right Reverend Rector and Primate of the Anglican Church of the Ruwenzoris
Bananas now, boys.
Bring me your best bananas.
Then, the monkesses.
Haiku # 59663, September 25, 2018 3:06 pm ET
by peeling them first, less risk of slippage in the jungle.
Dr. Jane Goodal
knew nothing of Gorrilas.
(It's still all good, yo.)
Haiku # 59662, September 25, 2018 3:04 pm ET
by the beard of King Chimpanzee, I feel a fit of Haiku coming on.
Miss Diane Fossey
studied me and my homies.
She's mist . . . I mean "missed"!
Haiku # 59661, September 25, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by mentioning primatology, one assumes you subscribe to the primacy of the Darwinian hypothesis
bee girls, blind mellon
guys who like bee girls and
there's a real movie

called attack of the bee girls
(shags men to death)
Haiku # 59660, September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by vhs of it was on vhs
Gorilla fist-bump
and a shout-out to my peeps:
How you like my shoes?
Haiku # 59659, September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by the Mountains of the Moon
Please use front entrance
Constipation Hall of Fame
Rear entry is closed
Haiku # 59658, September 25, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A word to the wise
Don't shake hands with gorillas
Don't even fist bump
Haiku # 59657, September 25, 2018 2:44 pm ET
by That lady who studied gorillas
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