BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
68 Days
69687 Haikus
Banana Cream Pie
Does not contain bananas
Does not contain cream
Haiku #59666, by Baked Chef of Starkittenworld of Empty Pantry. Cooking with one ingredient: Dirty Mind
September 25, 2018 4:29 pm ET

on and on and on
Haiku #59665, by Some guy that once looked at pic of a naked Haiku Geisha playing her Koto
September 25, 2018 3:15 pm ET

The firm sweet white fruit,
peel flung carelessly aside...
Ah --- those bananas.
Haiku #59664, by Right Reverend Rector and Primate of the Anglican Church of the Ruwenzoris
September 25, 2018 3:11 pm ET

Bananas now, boys.
Bring me your best bananas.
Then, the monkesses.
Haiku #59663, by peeling them first, less risk of slippage in the jungle.
September 25, 2018 3:06 pm ET

Dr. Jane Goodal
knew nothing of Gorrilas.
(It's still all good, yo.)
Haiku #59662, by the beard of King Chimpanzee, I feel a fit of Haiku coming on.
September 25, 2018 3:04 pm ET

Miss Diane Fossey
studied me and my homies.
She's mist . . . I mean "missed"!
Haiku #59661, by mentioning primatology, one assumes you subscribe to the primacy of the Darwinian hypothesis
September 25, 2018 3:01 pm ET

bee girls, blind mellon
guys who like bee girls and
there's a real movie

called attack of the bee girls
(shags men to death)
Haiku #59660, by vhs of it was on vhs
September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET

Gorilla fist-bump
and a shout-out to my peeps:
How you like my shoes?
Haiku #59659, by the Mountains of the Moon
September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET

Please use front entrance
Constipation Hall of Fame
Rear entry is closed
Haiku #59658, by Anonymous Poet
September 25, 2018 2:52 pm ET

A word to the wise
Don't shake hands with gorillas
Don't even fist bump
Haiku #59657, by That lady who studied gorillas
September 25, 2018 2:44 pm ET

i don't know it's like
andy kauffman took some strong
stimulants legal

or otherwise and
is using us all like you
know Jeff Dunham's dolls

to post haiku here
Haiku #59656, by vhs
September 25, 2018 2:43 pm ET

hmm the gorilla
that throws poo at the people
who visit the zoo

Haiku #59655, by vhs
September 25, 2018 2:38 pm ET

One of the wettest
We've ever seen from the standpoint
Of Cunnilingus
Haiku #59654, by The Great Brain of Paper Towel Aisle
September 25, 2018 1:13 pm ET

Earn extra income!
Work from the comfort of your home!
Writing Bad Haiku
Haiku #59653, by Starkitten of At the Bank cashing another Bad Haiku cheque
September 25, 2018 12:49 pm ET

I just shat myself.
I guess I should go clean up.
Nah, fuck it, that's gay.
Haiku #59652, by
September 25, 2018 11:24 am ET

I'm deplorable!
I'm a Russian bot; the Dregs!
Oh . . . and a Nazi.
Haiku #59651, by the way, I am also a lover of most things you despise.
September 25, 2018 10:04 am ET

The William Tell Game:
Borroughs to wife: "Stand right there...
now don't move." BANG! Whoops.
Haiku #59650, by the window you become aware of a bloodstain on the wall
September 25, 2018 8:57 am ET

im not aware of
too many things, but, that was a
good one hit song there

i think shes texan
Haiku #59649, by vhs
September 25, 2018 7:58 am ET

Archery Practice
Arrow through head Not Steve Martin
Bullseye! Paul Simon!!
Haiku #59648, by Edie Brickell of Wherever they serve alcohol
September 25, 2018 4:40 am ET

Dude, where have you been?
Paper color same as tree
Nature is so cool
Haiku #59647, by Starkitten of Psychedelic Northwest
September 24, 2018 10:09 pm ET

post it note, many
neon colors, what will it say
to future cultures?

colored pieces of paper?
Haiku #59646, by vhs
September 24, 2018 9:58 pm ET

what would an evangelical
christian vogon poet be like
i will give it my best
Haiku #59645, by vhs
September 24, 2018 6:37 pm ET

Tell me what's that lump?
Bad Haikoal in your stocking?
Happy to see me?
Haiku #59644, by Librarian
September 24, 2018 6:32 pm ET

Nice VHS! I really like the xmas stuff!
We'll make you a Sith Lord of Vogon Poetry yet.

Reminds me of one I did a long time back... maybe I'll dig it up.... or just link to it.

Yeah, I fucking love egg nog, but sooo damn fattening. Haven't had it in years.
Haiku #59643, by
September 24, 2018 6:14 pm ET

One united world
No borders, no flags, no God...
Won't happen. Sorry.
Haiku #59642, by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked
September 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET

Dagon was in the
OT, oh HP was quite
new englands man indeed

nataniel hawthorne
before, stephen king after
the cold leaves doth blow
Haiku #59641, by vhs of those damn deep my bird seed
September 24, 2018 5:45 pm ET

she rose from the center of
the fruitcake ancient and fossilized
underneathe the yuletide blatherings
BRIGHT...the sleigh in the darkness
the ancient chant of HOhoHO!
the sacrifice of the milk of cows
and the sugared round...cooo..kees
the evening of the yules prsenting
sacrifice under the burning chimney
for He Who Places Boxes Under The
Tree, with an obscene brightness
of unnatural colored lights on a
dying evergreen in the winters den
darkness of the ancient long night of winter, YemLog, Queen of EggNog
did attend their host
Haiku #59640, by vhs of wtf...
September 24, 2018 5:41 pm ET

Inconvenient. Had to go!
Poop in paint can
Haiku #59639, by Starkitten of Specific Northwest
September 24, 2018 3:17 pm ET

Believe it or not
Rendezvous with The Gill-Man
File under KInky
Haiku #59638, by Starkitten
September 24, 2018 3:00 pm ET

I thought he invented that shit... so, he makes up his own fairy tales, and believes them. Wow, just like... any religion. LOL
Haiku #59637, by
September 24, 2018 1:39 pm ET

Believed it alright
The granddaddy of them all
Lived down in his pants
Haiku #59636, by Starkitten of Mooncake River
September 24, 2018 1:31 pm ET

Old H.P. Lovecraft
He really believed that stuff:
Cthulu, Dagon...
Haiku #59635, by the light of the gibbous moon
September 24, 2018 11:48 am ET

Impossible task:
Elevate quality here.
Back to the gutter.
Haiku #59634, by stressing the depravity of your soul, you sin against all
September 24, 2018 9:32 am ET

Fattening physics.
Missing Mooncakes lost matter.
Oprah's Big Black Hole.

Do not get sucked in.
Poetry cannot escape
the gravity well.
Haiku #59633, by
September 24, 2018 9:23 am ET

You should check out the
C'thulu for President
Haiku #59632, by df
September 24, 2018 9:19 am ET

obscurity was
the love i had for my own
20s, odd mind tidbits

oh cthulhu the madness of
this era even exceeds thee
oh fictional squid god
Haiku #59631, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:53 am ET

cat purrs cat crawls up
seeing human as hill to
climb over, rest on
Haiku #59630, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:52 am ET

when a man loves a
woman but he wants to be
a me

ive seen other variations on this
theme too
Haiku #59629, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:50 am ET

moon pies were pretty
bad but addictive like so
much, tastes good, bad carbs
Haiku #59628, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:49 am ET

well i post one blurb
and radio silence, uh
what's radio? 105.1 fm tos
Haiku #59627, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:44 am ET

just another manic
monday, maniacs, mid terms
and the letters mmmmm
Haiku #59626, by vhs
September 24, 2018 7:17 am ET

The missing mooncakes
Just like those Gingerbread Men
Sneaky Doberman
Haiku #59625, by Starkitten of Mooncakeless in Seattle
September 24, 2018 4:24 am ET

Transsexual storms.
Hurriphoons and/or tycanes.
Sharing hemispheres.

But hurricanes and
typhoons don't want tornadoes
to be molested.
Haiku #59624, by
September 24, 2018 2:03 am ET

Born a month late. Breech
Traffic Jam in Birth Canal
Detour thru Rear End
Haiku #59623, by Birth Stories of A long time ago in 🇨🇦
September 24, 2018 1:32 am ET

Married on Monday
Newbie groom hid in bathroom
But his goose was cooked
Haiku #59622, by First Ever Meatless Monday
September 24, 2018 1:23 am ET

Kapre...Big Galoot
21 Balut Salute
Big Hairy skin flute
Haiku #59621, by King Kong
September 24, 2018 1:06 am ET

Haven't been caught yet
Creeping around his back stairs
Starkitten Lightfoot
Haiku #59620, by Starkitten of Rainy Day People of f Pacific Northwest
September 23, 2018 10:44 pm ET

Fuck the stupid birds
We are going to eat them
They are gods mistake
Haiku #59619, by Braedon of Ontario canada
September 23, 2018 10:04 pm ET

Bad Haikufucius
He who meditate in john
Have shitty outlook
Haiku #59618, by Starkitten
September 23, 2018 8:59 pm ET

And chops off the cock
of Starkitten the Noisy,
Destroyer of Words.
Haiku #59617, by
September 23, 2018 8:49 pm ET