BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
349 Days
and
68522 Haikus
later...
Dagon was in the
OT, oh HP was quite
new englands man indeed

nataniel hawthorne
before, stephen king after
the cold leaves doth blow
Haiku #59641, by vhs of those damn deep ones...eat my bird seed
September 24, 2018 5:45 pm ET

she rose from the center of
the fruitcake ancient and fossilized
underneathe the yuletide blatherings
RUDOLPH WITH YOUR NOSE SO
BRIGHT...the sleigh in the darkness
the ancient chant of HOhoHO!
the sacrifice of the milk of cows
and the sugared round...cooo..kees
the evening of the yules prsenting
sacrifice under the burning chimney
for He Who Places Boxes Under The
Tree, with an obscene brightness
of unnatural colored lights on a
dying evergreen in the winters den
darkness of the ancient long night of winter, YemLog, Queen of EggNog
did attend their host
Haiku #59640, by vhs of wtf...
September 24, 2018 5:41 pm ET

Michaelangelo
Inconvenient. Had to go!
Poop in paint can
Haiku #59639, by Starkitten of Specific Northwest
September 24, 2018 3:17 pm ET

Believe it or not
Rendezvous with The Gill-Man
File under KInky
Haiku #59638, by Starkitten
September 24, 2018 3:00 pm ET

I thought he invented that shit... so, he makes up his own fairy tales, and believes them. Wow, just like... any religion. LOL
Haiku #59637, by
September 24, 2018 1:39 pm ET

Believed it alright
The granddaddy of them all
Lived down in his pants
Haiku #59636, by Starkitten of Mooncake River
September 24, 2018 1:31 pm ET

Old H.P. Lovecraft
He really believed that stuff:
Cthulu, Dagon...
Haiku #59635, by the light of the gibbous moon
September 24, 2018 11:48 am ET

Impossible task:
Elevate quality here.
Back to the gutter.
Haiku #59634, by stressing the depravity of your soul, you sin against all
September 24, 2018 9:32 am ET

Fattening physics.
Missing Mooncakes lost matter.
Oprah's Big Black Hole.

Do not get sucked in.
Poetry cannot escape
the gravity well.
Haiku #59633, by
September 24, 2018 9:23 am ET

You should check out the
C'thulu for President
Organization.
Haiku #59632, by df
September 24, 2018 9:19 am ET

obscurity was
the love i had for my own
20s, odd mind tidbits

oh cthulhu the madness of
this era even exceeds thee
oh fictional squid god
Haiku #59631, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:53 am ET

cat purrs cat crawls up
seeing human as hill to
climb over, rest on
Haiku #59630, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:52 am ET

when a man loves a
woman but he wants to be
a woman...trust me

ive seen other variations on this
theme too
Haiku #59629, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:50 am ET

moon pies were pretty
bad but addictive like so
much, tastes good, bad carbs
Haiku #59628, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:49 am ET

well i post one blurb
and radio silence, uh
what's radio? 105.1 fm tos
Haiku #59627, by vhs
September 24, 2018 8:44 am ET

just another manic
monday, maniacs, mid terms
and the letters mmmmm
Haiku #59626, by vhs
September 24, 2018 7:17 am ET

The missing mooncakes
Just like those Gingerbread Men
Sneaky Doberman
Haiku #59625, by Starkitten of Mooncakeless in Seattle
September 24, 2018 4:24 am ET

Transsexual storms.
Hurriphoons and/or tycanes.
Sharing hemispheres.

But hurricanes and
typhoons don't want tornadoes
to be molested.
Haiku #59624, by
September 24, 2018 2:03 am ET

Born a month late. Breech
Traffic Jam in Birth Canal
Detour thru Rear End
Haiku #59623, by Birth Stories of A long time ago in 🇨🇦
September 24, 2018 1:32 am ET

Married on Monday
Newbie groom hid in bathroom
But his goose was cooked
Haiku #59622, by First Ever Meatless Monday
September 24, 2018 1:23 am ET

Kapre...Big Galoot
21 Balut Salute
Big Hairy skin flute
Haiku #59621, by King Kong
September 24, 2018 1:06 am ET

Haven't been caught yet
Creeping around his back stairs
Starkitten Lightfoot
Haiku #59620, by Starkitten of Rainy Day People of f Pacific Northwest
September 23, 2018 10:44 pm ET

Fuck the stupid birds
We are going to eat them
They are gods mistake
Haiku #59619, by Braedon of Ontario canada
September 23, 2018 10:04 pm ET

Bad Haikufucius
He who meditate in john
Have shitty outlook
Haiku #59618, by Starkitten
September 23, 2018 8:59 pm ET

And chops off the cock
of Starkitten the Noisy,
Destroyer of Words.
Haiku #59617, by
September 23, 2018 8:49 pm ET

Ooooo, I love that book!
Conan the librarian!
She conquers ten books!
Haiku #59616, by
September 23, 2018 8:44 pm ET

Library so quiet
All patrons are behaving
You can hear pin drop
Haiku #59615, by Starkitten Librarian
September 23, 2018 8:24 pm ET

If your cock falls off
and no feminists hear it
did it sill fall off?
Haiku #59614, by
September 23, 2018 8:19 pm ET

Gems sparkle at night
Some gems are worthless garbage
Some gems are dumb glass
Haiku #59613, by Secret Poetess of Painting
September 23, 2018 7:50 pm ET

Long Pig food kiosk.
Cloned human flesh at low price!
Penis on a stick.
Haiku #59612, by Spider Jerusalem
September 23, 2018 7:48 pm ET

Boat rocks under me
Waves hit the land: tsunami !
Nice sea-shells on shore
Haiku #59611, by Secret Poetess of collecting gems
September 23, 2018 7:46 pm ET

Thai food is the best.
Filippino food sucks ass.
Balut eggs are gross!
Haiku #59610, by
September 23, 2018 7:44 pm ET

I shouldn't ask this.
Is it wrong to eat children?
So fat and juicy.
Haiku #59609, by
September 23, 2018 7:42 pm ET

Asian food is bad
I don't like egg in my food
Disgusting raw fish
Haiku #59608, by Secret Poetess of Asian Food
September 23, 2018 7:42 pm ET

He got an implant.
Penis version two point oh.
Comes with Windows 10.
Haiku #59607, by
September 23, 2018 7:41 pm ET

Mooncakes taste so good
They are full of nasty eggs
Lava-lamp feel hot
Haiku #59606, by the rising of the moon, autumn is here
September 23, 2018 7:38 pm ET

Broke the piñata
With his "Louisville Slugger"
Werthers Avalanche!
Haiku #59605, by Starkitten
September 23, 2018 7:29 pm ET

But "they" weren't hiding.
Grandpa was the one hiding.
With a big boner.

In addition they
also gave him three hookers
and 10 grams of coke.

He used to smoke crack.
But that was back in the day.
Now it was plain coke.

How can hillbillies
afford to buy so much coke?
That's a good question.
Haiku #59604, by
September 23, 2018 6:36 pm ET

The perfect surprise
When they came out of hiding
"Happy Birthday, Gramps!"
Haiku #59603, by Starkitten of Portraits of Autumn
September 23, 2018 3:26 pm ET

He climbed down into
the outhouse shithole so he
could see vagina.
Haiku #59602, by
September 23, 2018 2:59 pm ET

Grandpa Ciderpants
Pressed for time. He's all business.
Sprint to the outhouse.
Haiku #59601, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest U pick Turd Orchard
September 23, 2018 2:04 pm ET

That's not good for you.
You might catch H I Voo Doo.
Or the blue waffles.
Haiku #59600, by Anonymous Poet
September 23, 2018 10:15 am ET

Do not write haiku.
You'll become gay if you do.
Then you might pound poo.
Haiku #59599, by df
September 23, 2018 10:12 am ET

Confabulation?
It's an abombination:
Infibulation.
Haiku #59598, by naming enemy, you cause power of enemy to weaken
September 22, 2018 9:25 pm ET

I got angry enough
to turn this off one time
and watch something die

I would let it die
and let it go, just spasm
a few more times then
Haiku #59597, by vhs
September 22, 2018 8:15 pm ET

look, I'm busy in
real life, I'm not as old as
you with the time there

if you keep it up
I might quite altogether
say fuck it and out

of real life fear just
delete everything and
break my laptop here

or annoyance I'm not sure
Haiku #59596, by vhs
September 22, 2018 8:12 pm ET

NOTEBOOK PAPER (SLAM!!)
WRITE SOME COCK A DOODY HAIKU
YOU DIRTY BIRDIES!!
Haiku #59595, by Pig biting mad of 2nd location I'm kidnapping you to
September 22, 2018 8:04 pm ET

Quiet as Jonestown here
A sea of tossed plastic cups
Drank Bad Haikul-Aid?
Haiku #59594, by Starkitten and John Boy Walton's Mole of Reporting Live
September 22, 2018 7:50 pm ET

I figured it out
You have to sit still longer
To write the poems
Haiku #59593, by Starkitten
September 22, 2018 7:10 pm ET

Haiku good for Earth
Less trees wasted on poems
More toilet paper
Haiku #59592, by Starkitten
September 22, 2018 7:01 pm ET