Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

I just shat myself.
I guess I should go clean up.
Nah, fuck it, that's gay.
Haiku # 59652, September 25, 2018 11:24 am ET
I'm deplorable!
I'm a Russian bot; the Dregs!
Oh . . . and a Nazi.
Haiku # 59651, September 25, 2018 10:04 am ET
by the way, I am also a lover of most things you despise.
The William Tell Game:
Borroughs to wife: "Stand right there...
now don't move." BANG! Whoops.
Haiku # 59650, September 25, 2018 8:57 am ET
by the window you become aware of a bloodstain on the wall
im not aware of
too many things, but, that was a
good one hit song there

i think shes texan
Haiku # 59649, September 25, 2018 7:58 am ET
by vhs
Archery Practice
Arrow through head Not Steve Martin
Bullseye! Paul Simon!!
Haiku # 59648, September 25, 2018 4:40 am ET
by Edie Brickell of Wherever they serve alcohol
Dude, where have you been?
Paper color same as tree
Nature is so cool
Haiku # 59647, September 24, 2018 10:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Psychedelic Northwest
post it note, many
neon colors, what will it say
to future cultures?

colored pieces of paper?
Haiku # 59646, September 24, 2018 9:58 pm ET
by vhs
what would an evangelical
christian vogon poet be like
i will give it my best
Haiku # 59645, September 24, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by vhs
Tell me what's that lump?
Bad Haikoal in your stocking?
Happy to see me?
Haiku # 59644, September 24, 2018 6:32 pm ET
by Librarian
Nice VHS! I really like the xmas stuff!
We'll make you a Sith Lord of Vogon Poetry yet.

Reminds me of one I did a long time back... maybe I'll dig it up.... or just link to it.

Yeah, I fucking love egg nog, but sooo damn fattening. Haven't had it in years.
Haiku # 59643, September 24, 2018 6:14 pm ET
One united world
No borders, no flags, no God...
Won't happen. Sorry.
Haiku # 59642, September 24, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked
Dagon was in the
OT, oh HP was quite
new englands man indeed

nataniel hawthorne
before, stephen king after
the cold leaves doth blow
Haiku # 59641, September 24, 2018 5:45 pm ET
by vhs of those damn deep my bird seed
she rose from the center of
the fruitcake ancient and fossilized
underneathe the yuletide blatherings
BRIGHT...the sleigh in the darkness
the ancient chant of HOhoHO!
the sacrifice of the milk of cows
and the sugared round...cooo..kees
the evening of the yules prsenting
sacrifice under the burning chimney
for He Who Places Boxes Under The
Tree, with an obscene brightness
of unnatural colored lights on a
dying evergreen in the winters den
darkness of the ancient long night of winter, YemLog, Queen of EggNog
did attend their host
Haiku # 59640, September 24, 2018 5:41 pm ET
by vhs of wtf...
Inconvenient. Had to go!
Poop in paint can
Haiku # 59639, September 24, 2018 3:17 pm ET
by Starkitten of Specific Northwest
Believe it or not
Rendezvous with The Gill-Man
File under KInky
Haiku # 59638, September 24, 2018 3:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
I thought he invented that shit... so, he makes up his own fairy tales, and believes them. Wow, just like... any religion. LOL
Haiku # 59637, September 24, 2018 1:39 pm ET
Believed it alright
The granddaddy of them all
Lived down in his pants
Haiku # 59636, September 24, 2018 1:31 pm ET
by Starkitten of Mooncake River
Old H.P. Lovecraft
He really believed that stuff:
Cthulu, Dagon...
Haiku # 59635, September 24, 2018 11:48 am ET
by the light of the gibbous moon
Impossible task:
Elevate quality here.
Back to the gutter.
Haiku # 59634, September 24, 2018 9:32 am ET
by stressing the depravity of your soul, you sin against all
Fattening physics.
Missing Mooncakes lost matter.
Oprah's Big Black Hole.

Do not get sucked in.
Poetry cannot escape
the gravity well.
Haiku # 59633, September 24, 2018 9:23 am ET
You should check out the
C'thulu for President
Haiku # 59632, September 24, 2018 9:19 am ET
by df
obscurity was
the love i had for my own
20s, odd mind tidbits

oh cthulhu the madness of
this era even exceeds thee
oh fictional squid god
Haiku # 59631, September 24, 2018 8:53 am ET
by vhs
cat purrs cat crawls up
seeing human as hill to
climb over, rest on
Haiku # 59630, September 24, 2018 8:52 am ET
by vhs
when a man loves a
woman but he wants to be
a me

ive seen other variations on this
theme too
Haiku # 59629, September 24, 2018 8:50 am ET
by vhs
moon pies were pretty
bad but addictive like so
much, tastes good, bad carbs
Haiku # 59628, September 24, 2018 8:49 am ET
by vhs
well i post one blurb
and radio silence, uh
what's radio? 105.1 fm tos
Haiku # 59627, September 24, 2018 8:44 am ET
by vhs
just another manic
monday, maniacs, mid terms
and the letters mmmmm
Haiku # 59626, September 24, 2018 7:17 am ET
by vhs
The missing mooncakes
Just like those Gingerbread Men
Sneaky Doberman
Haiku # 59625, September 24, 2018 4:24 am ET
by Starkitten of Mooncakeless in Seattle
Transsexual storms.
Hurriphoons and/or tycanes.
Sharing hemispheres.

But hurricanes and
typhoons don't want tornadoes
to be molested.
Haiku # 59624, September 24, 2018 2:03 am ET
Born a month late. Breech
Traffic Jam in Birth Canal
Detour thru Rear End
Haiku # 59623, September 24, 2018 1:32 am ET
by Birth Stories of A long time ago in 🇨🇦
Married on Monday
Newbie groom hid in bathroom
But his goose was cooked
Haiku # 59622, September 24, 2018 1:23 am ET
by First Ever Meatless Monday
Kapre...Big Galoot
21 Balut Salute
Big Hairy skin flute
Haiku # 59621, September 24, 2018 1:06 am ET
by King Kong
Haven't been caught yet
Creeping around his back stairs
Starkitten Lightfoot
Haiku # 59620, September 23, 2018 10:44 pm ET
by Starkitten of Rainy Day People of f Pacific Northwest
Fuck the stupid birds
We are going to eat them
They are gods mistake
Haiku # 59619, September 23, 2018 10:04 pm ET
by Braedon of Ontario canada
Bad Haikufucius
He who meditate in john
Have shitty outlook
Haiku # 59618, September 23, 2018 8:59 pm ET
by Starkitten
And chops off the cock
of Starkitten the Noisy,
Destroyer of Words.
Haiku # 59617, September 23, 2018 8:49 pm ET
Ooooo, I love that book!
Conan the librarian!
She conquers ten books!
Haiku # 59616, September 23, 2018 8:44 pm ET
Library so quiet
All patrons are behaving
You can hear pin drop
Haiku # 59615, September 23, 2018 8:24 pm ET
by Starkitten Librarian
If your cock falls off
and no feminists hear it
did it sill fall off?
Haiku # 59614, September 23, 2018 8:19 pm ET
Gems sparkle at night
Some gems are worthless garbage
Some gems are dumb glass
Haiku # 59613, September 23, 2018 7:50 pm ET
by Secret Poetess of Painting
Long Pig food kiosk.
Cloned human flesh at low price!
Penis on a stick.
Haiku # 59612, September 23, 2018 7:48 pm ET
by Spider Jerusalem
Boat rocks under me
Waves hit the land: tsunami !
Nice sea-shells on shore
Haiku # 59611, September 23, 2018 7:46 pm ET
by Secret Poetess of collecting gems
Thai food is the best.
Filippino food sucks ass.
Balut eggs are gross!
Haiku # 59610, September 23, 2018 7:44 pm ET
I shouldn't ask this.
Is it wrong to eat children?
So fat and juicy.
Haiku # 59609, September 23, 2018 7:42 pm ET
Asian food is bad
I don't like egg in my food
Disgusting raw fish
Haiku # 59608, September 23, 2018 7:42 pm ET
by Secret Poetess of Asian Food
He got an implant.
Penis version two point oh.
Comes with Windows 10.
Haiku # 59607, September 23, 2018 7:41 pm ET
Mooncakes taste so good
They are full of nasty eggs
Lava-lamp feel hot
Haiku # 59606, September 23, 2018 7:38 pm ET
by the rising of the moon, autumn is here
Broke the piñata
With his "Louisville Slugger"
Werthers Avalanche!
Haiku # 59605, September 23, 2018 7:29 pm ET
by Starkitten
But "they" weren't hiding.
Grandpa was the one hiding.
With a big boner.

In addition they
also gave him three hookers
and 10 grams of coke.

He used to smoke crack.
But that was back in the day.
Now it was plain coke.

How can hillbillies
afford to buy so much coke?
That's a good question.
Haiku # 59604, September 23, 2018 6:36 pm ET
The perfect surprise
When they came out of hiding
"Happy Birthday, Gramps!"
Haiku # 59603, September 23, 2018 3:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Portraits of Autumn
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