Mistress Yoga-Mat:
Spiritually flexible,
but still super HOT!

if i lay an egg
i am dreaming told a bad joke
or need to go to

the ER, it might be
quite seriously, funny...
i didnt order it

whats that movie i saw
i got a laugh about, i think
invasion of the bee

girls, they will shag you
to death...so why not bee girls
catching men, bee men?

sorry, still recovering from mst3k here

Not impotent rage!
More tolerable incensed...
ovipositor!

Nationalistic.
Queen's little jester,
whatever happens.

the beez buzz in their
hivez, i see and walk away
so i donz get stungzzz

Inequalities:
Megalomaniac stink,
divine average.

I appreciate
human personality.
Bluster forth an egg.

just if it throws shit
make sure you get a garden
in response right there

I'm stubborn, might see
faith as an adaptive trope
marx saw, opiate

if it works, roll with it

Central Anarchist:
transient passionate love
collaborations?

I get sick of it
Die so that Life can begin
Faith in God no help

hmm politics trumps
reality, games of power
the word, or sword

quite the story quite
all these stories we tell take
a left handed turn

Unrighteous Brother
Perverted Trappist monk
Boys trapped in cellar

We've not yet sunk to
the level of priests raping
little kids haiku.

So then be thankful
when wet poo is thrown at you
by dumb gorillas.

kindling fire burn
wood you mind if i just watched
the leaves all turn red???

Does Tommy throw poo?
Banana and rum on ice.
Shaken, not peed in.

Tommy Pooflinger
Has been named the next James Bond
He's a gorilla

Everything went wrong.
I tried to be ready but
traffic, God, and rain.

Drank two daiquiris
last night; banana of course.
Time to throw more poo.

Fifty years ago
My father punched Phil Spector
In an elevator

Prehistoric Porn
Dildo: Wooly Mammoth Horn
Flintstone getting hard

All That Gorilla!
Dianne Fossey. Bob Fossey.
This show can't be "MIst"

Banana Cream Pie
Does not contain bananas
Does not contain cream

I CANT STOP! HELP ME!
I JUST CANT STOP THE HAIKU!
on and on and on

The firm sweet white fruit,
peel flung carelessly aside...
Ah --- those bananas.

Bananas now, boys.
Bring me your best bananas.
Then, the monkesses.

Dr. Jane Goodal
knew nothing of Gorrilas.
(It's still all good, yo.)

Miss Diane Fossey
studied me and my homies.
She's mist . . . I mean "missed"!

bee girls, blind mellon
guys who like bee girls and
there's a real movie

called attack of the bee girls
(shags men to death)

Gorilla fist-bump
and a shout-out to my peeps:
How you like my shoes?

Please use front entrance
Constipation Hall of Fame
Rear entry is closed

A word to the wise
Don't shake hands with gorillas
Don't even fist bump

i don't know it's like
andy kauffman took some strong
stimulants legal

or otherwise and
is using us all like you
know Jeff Dunham's dolls

to post haiku here

hmm the gorilla
that throws poo at the people
who visit the zoo

....priceless...

One of the wettest
We've ever seen from the standpoint
Of Cunnilingus

Earn extra income!
Work from the comfort of your home!
Writing Bad Haiku

I just shat myself.
I guess I should go clean up.
Nah, fuck it, that's gay.

I'm deplorable!
I'm a Russian bot; the Dregs!
Oh . . . and a Nazi.

The William Tell Game:
Borroughs to wife: "Stand right there...
now don't move." BANG! Whoops.

im not aware of
too many things, but, that was a
good one hit song there

i think shes texan

Archery Practice
Arrow through head Not Steve Martin
Bullseye! Paul Simon!!

Dude, where have you been?
Paper color same as tree
Nature is so cool

post it note, many
neon colors, what will it say
to future cultures?

colored pieces of paper?

what would an evangelical
christian vogon poet be like
i will give it my best

Tell me what's that lump?
Bad Haikoal in your stocking?
Happy to see me?

Nice VHS! I really like the xmas stuff!
We'll make you a Sith Lord of Vogon Poetry yet.

Reminds me of one I did a long time back... maybe I'll dig it up.... or just link to it.

https://www.scribd.com/document/186162911/Christmas-Memories

Yeah, I fucking love egg nog, but sooo damn fattening. Haven't had it in years.

One united world
No borders, no flags, no God...
Won't happen. Sorry.

Dagon was in the
OT, oh HP was quite
new englands man indeed

nataniel hawthorne
before, stephen king after
the cold leaves doth blow