Fifty years ago
My father punched Phil Spector
In an elevator

Prehistoric Porn
Dildo: Wooly Mammoth Horn
Flintstone getting hard

All That Gorilla!
Dianne Fossey. Bob Fossey.
This show can't be "MIst"

Banana Cream Pie
Does not contain bananas
Does not contain cream

I CANT STOP! HELP ME!
I JUST CANT STOP THE HAIKU!
on and on and on

The firm sweet white fruit,
peel flung carelessly aside...
Ah --- those bananas.

Bananas now, boys.
Bring me your best bananas.
Then, the monkesses.

Dr. Jane Goodal
knew nothing of Gorrilas.
(It's still all good, yo.)

Miss Diane Fossey
studied me and my homies.
She's mist . . . I mean "missed"!

bee girls, blind mellon
guys who like bee girls and
there's a real movie

called attack of the bee girls
(shags men to death)

Gorilla fist-bump
and a shout-out to my peeps:
How you like my shoes?

Please use front entrance
Constipation Hall of Fame
Rear entry is closed

A word to the wise
Don't shake hands with gorillas
Don't even fist bump

i don't know it's like
andy kauffman took some strong
stimulants legal

or otherwise and
is using us all like you
know Jeff Dunham's dolls

to post haiku here

hmm the gorilla
that throws poo at the people
who visit the zoo

....priceless...

One of the wettest
We've ever seen from the standpoint
Of Cunnilingus

Earn extra income!
Work from the comfort of your home!
Writing Bad Haiku

I just shat myself.
I guess I should go clean up.
Nah, fuck it, that's gay.

I'm deplorable!
I'm a Russian bot; the Dregs!
Oh . . . and a Nazi.

The William Tell Game:
Borroughs to wife: "Stand right there...
now don't move." BANG! Whoops.

im not aware of
too many things, but, that was a
good one hit song there

i think shes texan

Archery Practice
Arrow through head Not Steve Martin
Bullseye! Paul Simon!!

Dude, where have you been?
Paper color same as tree
Nature is so cool

post it note, many
neon colors, what will it say
to future cultures?

colored pieces of paper?

what would an evangelical
christian vogon poet be like
i will give it my best

Tell me what's that lump?
Bad Haikoal in your stocking?
Happy to see me?

Nice VHS! I really like the xmas stuff!
We'll make you a Sith Lord of Vogon Poetry yet.

Reminds me of one I did a long time back... maybe I'll dig it up.... or just link to it.

https://www.scribd.com/document/186162911/Christmas-Memories

Yeah, I fucking love egg nog, but sooo damn fattening. Haven't had it in years.

One united world
No borders, no flags, no God...
Won't happen. Sorry.

Dagon was in the
OT, oh HP was quite
new englands man indeed

nataniel hawthorne
before, stephen king after
the cold leaves doth blow

she rose from the center of
the fruitcake ancient and fossilized
underneathe the yuletide blatherings
RUDOLPH WITH YOUR NOSE SO
BRIGHT...the sleigh in the darkness
the ancient chant of HOhoHO!
the sacrifice of the milk of cows
and the sugared round...cooo..kees
the evening of the yules prsenting
sacrifice under the burning chimney
for He Who Places Boxes Under The
Tree, with an obscene brightness
of unnatural colored lights on a
dying evergreen in the winters den
darkness of the ancient long night of winter, YemLog, Queen of EggNog
did attend their host

Michaelangelo
Inconvenient. Had to go!
Poop in paint can

Believe it or not
Rendezvous with The Gill-Man
File under KInky

I thought he invented that shit... so, he makes up his own fairy tales, and believes them. Wow, just like... any religion. LOL

Believed it alright
The granddaddy of them all
Lived down in his pants

Old H.P. Lovecraft
He really believed that stuff:
Cthulu, Dagon...

Impossible task:
Elevate quality here.
Back to the gutter.

Fattening physics.
Missing Mooncakes lost matter.
Oprah's Big Black Hole.

Do not get sucked in.
Poetry cannot escape
the gravity well.

You should check out the
C'thulu for President
Organization.

obscurity was
the love i had for my own
20s, odd mind tidbits

oh cthulhu the madness of
this era even exceeds thee
oh fictional squid god

cat purrs cat crawls up
seeing human as hill to
climb over, rest on

when a man loves a
woman but he wants to be
a woman...trust me

ive seen other variations on this
theme too

moon pies were pretty
bad but addictive like so
much, tastes good, bad carbs

well i post one blurb
and radio silence, uh
what's radio? 105.1 fm tos

just another manic
monday, maniacs, mid terms
and the letters mmmmm

The missing mooncakes
Just like those Gingerbread Men
Sneaky Doberman

Transsexual storms.
Hurriphoons and/or tycanes.
Sharing hemispheres.

But hurricanes and
typhoons don't want tornadoes
to be molested.

Born a month late. Breech
Traffic Jam in Birth Canal
Detour thru Rear End

Married on Monday
Newbie groom hid in bathroom
But his goose was cooked

Kapre...Big Galoot
21 Balut Salute
Big Hairy skin flute

Haven't been caught yet
Creeping around his back stairs
Starkitten Lightfoot