BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
241 Days
and
67703 Haikus
later...
Devi Yoga-Mat:
Able to cleanse her third eye
with her own lingam
Haiku #59694, by the look of the pose, clothes should be worn
September 26, 2018 11:22 am ET

Her yoni got stuck
so deep within my lingam
thought I had THIRD EYE !
Haiku #59693, by misinterpreting the mysteries of Tantric Yoga, fake guru sells way more books
September 26, 2018 11:12 am ET

She charges for class
But she herself has no class:
Devi Yoga-Mat !
Haiku #59692, by the smoldering ghats of the Aryan idols
September 26, 2018 11:05 am ET

She's not even saved
but you can listen for days:
Mistress Yoga-Mat
Haiku #59691, by the filthy waters of the Ganges
September 26, 2018 10:59 am ET

Mistress Yoga-Mat:
Spiritually flexible,
but still super HOT!
Haiku #59690, by the roots of the great banyan at the great Banyan at Varanasi
September 26, 2018 10:56 am ET

if i lay an egg
i am dreaming told a bad joke
or need to go to

the ER, it might be
quite seriously, funny...
i didnt order it
Haiku #59689, by vhs
September 26, 2018 9:00 am ET

whats that movie i saw
i got a laugh about, i think
invasion of the bee

girls, they will shag you
to death...so why not bee girls
catching men, bee men?

sorry, still recovering from mst3k here
Haiku #59688, by vhs
September 26, 2018 8:52 am ET

Not impotent rage!
More tolerable incensed...
ovipositor!
Haiku #59687, by QueenBee of the hive.
September 26, 2018 1:53 am ET

Nationalistic.
Queen's little jester,
whatever happens.
Haiku #59686, by QueenBee of the hive.
September 25, 2018 11:34 pm ET

the beez buzz in their
hivez, i see and walk away
so i donz get stungzzz
Haiku #59685, by vhs
September 25, 2018 11:24 pm ET

Inequalities:
Megalomaniac stink,
divine average.
Haiku #59684, by QueenBee of the hive.
September 25, 2018 9:59 pm ET

I appreciate
human personality.
Bluster forth an egg.
Haiku #59683, by QueenBee of the hive.
September 25, 2018 9:51 pm ET

just if it throws shit
make sure you get a garden
in response right there
Haiku #59682, by vhs
September 25, 2018 9:47 pm ET

I'm stubborn, might see
faith as an adaptive trope
marx saw, opiate

if it works, roll with it
Haiku #59681, by vhs
September 25, 2018 9:42 pm ET

Central Anarchist:
transient passionate love
collaborations?
Haiku #59680, by QueenBee of the hive.
September 25, 2018 9:41 pm ET

I get sick of it
Die so that Life can begin
Faith in God no help
Haiku #59679, by Anonymous Poet
September 25, 2018 9:40 pm ET

hmm politics trumps
reality, games of power
the word, or sword
Haiku #59678, by vhs
September 25, 2018 9:35 pm ET

quite the story quite
all these stories we tell take
a left handed turn
Haiku #59677, by vhs
September 25, 2018 9:06 pm ET

Unrighteous Brother
Perverted Trappist monk
Boys trapped in cellar
Haiku #59676, by Hey, I thought you folks were making jelly
September 25, 2018 8:10 pm ET

We've not yet sunk to
the level of priests raping
little kids haiku.

So then be thankful
when wet poo is thrown at you
by dumb gorillas.
Haiku #59675, by
September 25, 2018 8:01 pm ET

kindling fire burn
wood you mind if i just watched
the leaves all turn red???
Haiku #59674, by vhs of go bobbing for apples
September 25, 2018 8:00 pm ET

Does Tommy throw poo?
Banana and rum on ice.
Shaken, not peed in.
Haiku #59673, by
September 25, 2018 7:50 pm ET

Tommy Pooflinger
Has been named the next James Bond
He's a gorilla
Haiku #59672, by Roving Reports
September 25, 2018 7:12 pm ET

Everything went wrong.
I tried to be ready but
traffic, God, and rain.
Haiku #59671, by the time I arrived, of course, it was a washout.
September 25, 2018 6:55 pm ET

Drank two daiquiris
last night; banana of course.
Time to throw more poo.
Haiku #59670, by
September 25, 2018 5:07 pm ET

Fifty years ago
My father punched Phil Spector
In an elevator
Haiku #59669, by Starkitten
September 25, 2018 4:54 pm ET

Prehistoric Porn
Dildo: Wooly Mammoth Horn
Flintstone getting hard
Haiku #59668, by Starkitten of One million strong and Growing...
September 25, 2018 4:51 pm ET

All That Gorilla!
Dianne Fossey. Bob Fossey.
This show can't be "MIst"
Haiku #59667, by Starkitten Productions
September 25, 2018 4:44 pm ET

Banana Cream Pie
Does not contain bananas
Does not contain cream
Haiku #59666, by Baked Chef of Starkittenworld of Empty Pantry. Cooking with one ingredient: Dirty Mind
September 25, 2018 4:29 pm ET

I CANT STOP! HELP ME!
I JUST CANT STOP THE HAIKU!
on and on and on
Haiku #59665, by Some guy that once looked at pic of a naked Haiku Geisha playing her Koto
September 25, 2018 3:15 pm ET

The firm sweet white fruit,
peel flung carelessly aside...
Ah --- those bananas.
Haiku #59664, by Right Reverend Rector and Primate of the Anglican Church of the Ruwenzoris
September 25, 2018 3:11 pm ET

Bananas now, boys.
Bring me your best bananas.
Then, the monkesses.
Haiku #59663, by peeling them first, less risk of slippage in the jungle.
September 25, 2018 3:06 pm ET

Dr. Jane Goodal
knew nothing of Gorrilas.
(It's still all good, yo.)
Haiku #59662, by the beard of King Chimpanzee, I feel a fit of Haiku coming on.
September 25, 2018 3:04 pm ET

Miss Diane Fossey
studied me and my homies.
She's mist . . . I mean "missed"!
Haiku #59661, by mentioning primatology, one assumes you subscribe to the primacy of the Darwinian hypothesis
September 25, 2018 3:01 pm ET

bee girls, blind mellon
guys who like bee girls and
there's a real movie

called attack of the bee girls
(shags men to death)
Haiku #59660, by vhs of it was on vhs
September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET

Gorilla fist-bump
and a shout-out to my peeps:
How you like my shoes?
Haiku #59659, by the Mountains of the Moon
September 25, 2018 2:53 pm ET

Please use front entrance
Constipation Hall of Fame
Rear entry is closed
Haiku #59658, by Anonymous Poet
September 25, 2018 2:52 pm ET

A word to the wise
Don't shake hands with gorillas
Don't even fist bump
Haiku #59657, by That lady who studied gorillas
September 25, 2018 2:44 pm ET

i don't know it's like
andy kauffman took some strong
stimulants legal

or otherwise and
is using us all like you
know Jeff Dunham's dolls

to post haiku here
Haiku #59656, by vhs
September 25, 2018 2:43 pm ET

hmm the gorilla
that throws poo at the people
who visit the zoo

....priceless...
Haiku #59655, by vhs
September 25, 2018 2:38 pm ET

One of the wettest
We've ever seen from the standpoint
Of Cunnilingus
Haiku #59654, by The Great Brain of Paper Towel Aisle
September 25, 2018 1:13 pm ET

Earn extra income!
Work from the comfort of your home!
Writing Bad Haiku
Haiku #59653, by Starkitten of At the Bank cashing another Bad Haiku cheque
September 25, 2018 12:49 pm ET

I just shat myself.
I guess I should go clean up.
Nah, fuck it, that's gay.
Haiku #59652, by
September 25, 2018 11:24 am ET

I'm deplorable!
I'm a Russian bot; the Dregs!
Oh . . . and a Nazi.
Haiku #59651, by the way, I am also a lover of most things you despise.
September 25, 2018 10:04 am ET

The William Tell Game:
Borroughs to wife: "Stand right there...
now don't move." BANG! Whoops.
Haiku #59650, by the window you become aware of a bloodstain on the wall
September 25, 2018 8:57 am ET

im not aware of
too many things, but, that was a
good one hit song there

i think shes texan
Haiku #59649, by vhs
September 25, 2018 7:58 am ET

Archery Practice
Arrow through head Not Steve Martin
Bullseye! Paul Simon!!
Haiku #59648, by Edie Brickell of Wherever they serve alcohol
September 25, 2018 4:40 am ET

Dude, where have you been?
Paper color same as tree
Nature is so cool
Haiku #59647, by Starkitten of Psychedelic Northwest
September 24, 2018 10:09 pm ET

post it note, many
neon colors, what will it say
to future cultures?

colored pieces of paper?
Haiku #59646, by vhs
September 24, 2018 9:58 pm ET

what would an evangelical
christian vogon poet be like
i will give it my best
Haiku #59645, by vhs
September 24, 2018 6:37 pm ET