Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 257 Days and 71081 Haikus later...

what about that nazi
on rowan and matins laugh
in...very inter-

esting, but SCHTOOPID!
Haiku # 59507, September 20, 2018 9:01 am ET
by vhs of by the way haiku has its purpose
Chipotle epics,
doing those girls doggy-style;
bold. But not Haiku!
Haiku # 59506, September 20, 2018 7:33 am ET
by the way, this form of poetry is very strict. And stupid.
Blue waffle syrup.
Aunt Jemima free clinic.
I blame Uncle Ben.

He shouldn't have seen
Mrs. Butterworth side chick.
Fucking blue waffles.
Haiku # 59505, September 20, 2018 6:58 am ET
by
The blossom fell down,
slowly spinning like a dance,
never to be fruit.
Haiku # 59504, September 20, 2018 6:53 am ET
by
Danny's small penis
was no match for Jennifer's
gaping vagina.
Haiku # 59503, September 20, 2018 6:50 am ET
by
Comparing her vagina to an over-stuffed Chipoltle burrito, Alex had the car door slammed in his face as his now ex-girlfriend peeled out and left him stranded in the hood. He made some new friends and took them over to his side of town to treat them to some Chipoltle, hand crafted beer, and white girls. The barista at the Insomnia all night coffee shop gave them all extra good blowjobs before they returned to the hood and Alex called up his girlfriend and made up with her, saying that his comparison was meant as a compliment because he likes eating Chipoltle burritos and he really wanted his car back. When she met him he bitch-smacked her and did her doggie style half the night and screwed her like a black man would. She loved it.
It had been a good day.
Haiku # 59502, September 20, 2018 6:40 am ET
by
Let's have a party.
Paul Reubens for president!
A Playhouse Party.

By "party" I mean
a political party.
Chairy for VP.
Haiku # 59501, September 20, 2018 6:30 am ET
by
This is no haiku.
But then what did you expect,
a huge vagina?!
Haiku # 59500, September 20, 2018 6:21 am ET
by
Ex sister in law
Had ass skin grafted to face
I Called her Assface
Haiku # 59499, September 20, 2018 12:53 am ET
by Makes sense
Sir David Schwimmer
Spanking the monkey on Friends
Thanks a lot, Marcel..
Haiku # 59498, September 19, 2018 8:28 pm ET
by Starkitten and Peter Gabriel of We like monkeying around
Silly Starkitten
Don't you ever grow tired
Of biology?
Haiku # 59497, September 19, 2018 8:28 pm ET
by the banks of the Swanee banking cartel
basically i want
to clone myself and spank the rear
ends of each gen z

sjw and burn
their syllubuses and force them
into boot camp for three

months...I am frustrated
thanks a fucking bunch Marcuse
Haiku # 59496, September 19, 2018 8:10 pm ET
by vhs
Class Action Lawsuit
Cunt Muffler faulty product
Slippery when wet
Haiku # 59495, September 19, 2018 7:37 pm ET
by Starkitten & Starkitten Attorneys at Law
Silence your horrible vagina!
I can hear it from the other
side of the world!
Haiku # 59494, September 19, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by df of My new job is a sales rep for Cunt Muffler LTD.
Rugged Pioneers
Used Gran's cunt for a saddle
Made it way out west

Oh, but the horseflies?!
Solution to that popped up.
Grandpa's Fly Swatter
Haiku # 59493, September 19, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Pioneer Museum
Don't mind me staring
Admiring your geoduck
Pants zipper got stuck?
Haiku # 59492, September 19, 2018 4:44 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Marine Research
Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah
Shout out to The Jetson's fans
That means I Love You
Haiku # 59491, September 19, 2018 4:40 pm ET
by Starkitten of Baculum to the Future
He is the Walrus
Baculum Street Boyz are back!
They're bad to the bone!
Haiku # 59490, September 19, 2018 4:14 pm ET
by Starkitten
Kaleidoscope Kunt
David Crosby's baculum
Psychedelic, man!!
Haiku # 59489, September 19, 2018 3:50 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fi re counts as two
Jose Feliciano?
Jim Morrison?
Haiku # 59488, September 19, 2018 3:29 pm ET
by Weird scenes inside the Haiku mine of Pacific Northwest U-pick Vagina Orchard and Pies
More four-letter words!
Utterances of the Gods
(The Potty-mouth Gods)
Haiku # 59487, September 19, 2018 3:09 pm ET
by filling this tiny space with more and more ardent verbiage, I hurl the iron gauntlet of challenge before the idols of Haiku
Crushin' Illusion;
But they babble on about
Russian Collusion
Haiku # 59486, September 19, 2018 3:02 pm ET
by now, America has had enough of their empty accusations
That Starkitten. . . she
got a TV eye on me
just like Iggy said.
Haiku # 59485, September 19, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by writing Haiku, I become King of Sheba
High as fire*
Frolicking atop The flame
Valerie Plame: lame

* 2 syllables in my "fi-re"
Haiku # 59484, September 19, 2018 2:19 pm ET
by Lush
Had Enuresis
Refused to wear undies on set
Afraid of horses
Haiku # 59483, September 19, 2018 1:36 pm ET
by Starkitten of Hahahahaha
Bad Haiku on the Prairie
Michael Landon: Commando
Hunk of burning love
Haiku # 59482, September 19, 2018 11:53 am ET
by Starkitten of Moist Prairie
This site's never clean.
For nearly twenty-two years.
Do not rock the boat.

Cunt biscuit cheese farts.
Rhino vomit pizza balls.
Dog penis necklace.
Haiku # 59481, September 19, 2018 7:31 am ET
by
Have you yet pondered
the twats of our grandmothers
riding a saddle?
Haiku # 59480, September 19, 2018 7:25 am ET
by
Maniacal Purr
All seeing cat eye on You!
Ceiling Cat on duty!!
Haiku # 59479, September 19, 2018 4:04 am ET
by Starkitten of Everywhere at once
Resolved: no more sleaze.
Haiku will be clean from here,
unlike Starkitten.
Haiku # 59478, September 19, 2018 3:03 am ET
by that I don't mean no use of picturesque language...
RARE DOLPHIN SIGHTING
STRANGELY HUMAN. TINY PENIS.
RECITES BAD HAIKU
Haiku # 59477, September 19, 2018 12:24 am ET
by Starkitten of Roving Reporter.
The Pop Rocks story
Epiphany: THE WRONG HOLE
Greg's Asshole: Swiss Cheese!!
Haiku # 59476, September 19, 2018 12:11 am ET
by Starkitten of Roving Reporter
Cold water. Balls shrivel.
Dink Mosquito bite size now.
Cute as a button
Haiku # 59475, September 18, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by Starkitten
Which would you choose from,
mosquitoes or cold weather.
I take mosquitoes.

I hate them, indeed,
but to swim in cold water
is no fun at all.

So I made my choice.
I wish I was a dolphin.
Time for surgery.
Haiku # 59474, September 18, 2018 9:25 pm ET
by
Although unlikely,
if I won a Nobel Prize,
would be dynamite.
Haiku # 59473, September 18, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by
Paul liked the smell of
skunks freshly hit by a car;
smells like a dime bag.
Haiku # 59472, September 18, 2018 9:18 pm ET
by
He always maintained
a sparkling clean anus
in case Greg showed up.
Haiku # 59471, September 18, 2018 9:15 pm ET
by
They decided to try something different. After moistening his penis inside of her, he pulled it out and poured Pop-Rocks Candy
all over it, then he shoved it back in. Despite the damage it caused, it was the best sex they ever had.
Haiku # 59470, September 18, 2018 9:12 pm ET
by
Soft tortillas cling
to your teeth, gums, and mouth roof
like eating live squid.
Haiku # 59469, September 18, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by
He made passionate
love to a Galapagos
turtle named Susan.
Haiku # 59468, September 18, 2018 9:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Drink instant coffee
Things I never thought I'd do
Nobel Prize: Haiku!!!!!!!
Haiku # 59467, September 18, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starry Starry Night
Paint your penis blue and green
Where's the Vaseline?
Haiku # 59466, September 18, 2018 6:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of Vincent Van Goat's Place
Hairless Pink Haiku
Still wet. Glistens. Morning dew.
Was it good for you?
Haiku # 59465, September 18, 2018 5:38 pm ET
by Starkitten of Smoking imaginary cigarette
Thank Miley Cyrus
For letting me crash Bad Haiku
On her wrecking ball!!
Haiku # 59464, September 18, 2018 5:05 pm ET
by Starkitten of Nude with Cattitude!!
Flew with Aer Lingus
Not as expected. Complained.
Upgrade to cockpit
Haiku # 59463, September 18, 2018 4:59 pm ET
by Starkitten Tongues were wagging of The old sod
His Name is Wuji
I know a cat in Burma
Are you familiar?
Haiku # 59462, September 18, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Starkitten and my familiar of Whisker City
Annabella Lwin
you great Burmese prophetess
Sing! Bow wow wow wow
Haiku # 59461, September 18, 2018 2:43 pm ET
by the old Moulmein Pagoda of Mandalay
Fuck haiku. Kill it.
Leave corpse in the filthy mud.
Well . . . I was upset.
Haiku # 59460, September 18, 2018 2:36 pm ET
by negating the Life Force you become slave of DEATH
Buy a loaf of bread:
load banknotes in wheelbarrow
Sorry! Out of bread.
Haiku # 59459, September 18, 2018 2:33 pm ET
by mocking socialism we make light of darkness
Hail Great ZIMBABWE !
Our mother and lioness;
Bread-basket of . . . wait--
Haiku # 59458, September 18, 2018 2:31 pm ET
by by mocking Mama Afrika you show you are not of the blessed Motherland
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