Fi re counts as two
Jose Feliciano?
Jim Morrison?
by Weird scenes inside the Haiku mine of Pacific Northwest U-pick Vagina Orchard and Pies 
 
			
More four-letter words!
Utterances of the Gods
(The Potty-mouth Gods)
by filling this tiny space with more and more ardent verbiage, I hurl the iron gauntlet   of challenge before the idols of Haiku 
 
			
Crushin' Illusion;
But they babble on about
Russian Collusion
by now, America has had enough of their empty accusations 
 
			
That Starkitten. . . she
got a TV eye on me
just like Iggy said.
by writing Haiku, I become King of Sheba 
 
			
High as fire*
Frolicking atop The flame
Valerie Plame: lame
* 2 syllables in my "fi-re"
by Lush
 
			
Had Enuresis
Refused to wear undies on set
Afraid of horses
by Starkitten  of Hahahahaha 
 
			
Bad Haiku on the Prairie
Michael Landon: Commando
Hunk of burning love
by Starkitten of Moist Prairie 
 
			
This site's never clean.
For nearly twenty-two years.
Do not rock the boat.
Cunt biscuit cheese farts.
Rhino vomit pizza balls.
Dog penis necklace.
by  
 
			
Have you yet pondered
the twats of our grandmothers
riding a saddle?
by  
 
			
Maniacal Purr
All seeing cat eye on You!
Ceiling Cat on duty!!
by Starkitten  of Everywhere at once 
 
			
Resolved: no more sleaze.
Haiku will be clean from here,
unlike Starkitten.
by that I don't mean no use of picturesque language... 
 
			
RARE DOLPHIN SIGHTING
STRANGELY HUMAN. TINY PENIS.
RECITES BAD HAIKU
by Starkitten  of Roving Reporter.  
 
			
The Pop Rocks story
Epiphany: THE WRONG HOLE
Greg's Asshole: Swiss Cheese!!
by Starkitten  of Roving Reporter 
 
			
Cold water. Balls shrivel.
 Dink Mosquito bite size now.
Cute as a button
by Starkitten 
 
			
Which would you choose from,
mosquitoes or cold weather.
I take mosquitoes.
I hate them, indeed,
but to swim in cold water
is no fun at all.
So I made my choice.
I wish I was a dolphin.
Time for surgery.
by  
 
			
Although unlikely,
if I won a Nobel Prize,
would be dynamite.
by  
 
			
Paul liked the smell of
skunks freshly hit by a car;
smells like a dime bag.
by  
 
			
He always maintained
a sparkling clean anus
in case Greg showed up.
by  
 
			
They decided to try something different. After moistening his penis inside of her, he pulled it out and poured Pop-Rocks Candy
all over it, then he shoved it back in. Despite the damage it caused, it was the best sex they ever had.
by  
 
			
Soft tortillas cling
to your teeth, gums, and mouth roof
like eating live squid.
by  
 
			
He made passionate
love to a Galapagos
turtle named Susan.
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Drink instant coffee
Things I never thought I'd do
Nobel Prize: Haiku!!!!!!!
by Starkitten  
 
			
Starry Starry Night
Paint your penis blue and green
Where's the Vaseline?
by Starkitten of Vincent Van Goat's Place 
 
			
Hairless Pink Haiku
Still wet. Glistens. Morning dew.
Was it good for you?
by Starkitten of Smoking imaginary cigarette 
 
			
Thank Miley Cyrus
For letting me crash Bad Haiku
On her wrecking ball!!
by Starkitten of Nude with Cattitude!! 
 
			
Flew with Aer Lingus
Not as expected. Complained.
Upgrade to cockpit
by Starkitten Tongues were wagging of The old sod 
 
			
His Name is Wuji
I know a cat in Burma 
Are you familiar?
by Starkitten and my familiar of Whisker City 
 
			
Annabella Lwin
you great Burmese prophetess
Sing! Bow wow wow wow
by the old Moulmein Pagoda of Mandalay 
 
			
Fuck haiku. Kill it.
Leave corpse in the filthy mud.
Well . . . I was upset.
by negating the Life Force you become slave of DEATH 
 
			
Buy a loaf of bread:
load banknotes in wheelbarrow
Sorry! Out of bread.
by mocking socialism we make light of darkness 
 
			
Hail Great ZIMBABWE !
Our mother and lioness;
Bread-basket of . . . wait--
by by mocking Mama Afrika you show you are not  of the blessed Motherland 
 
			
In love with strangers...
GOD can make you fall in love
with total strangers.
by leaving earth become aware of the afterlife 
 
			
No, no, not "Euro"--
UROgynecology!
You need to listen.
by now you ought to know me as Lord  of Haiku Lords 
 
			
Starkitten laugh now
Hacking up giant hair ball 
Haiku Tumbleweed
by Starkitten  of The Moist Pacific Northwest  
 
			
No one left standing?
You bitches thought you could write
Haiku. You dead now.
by reading this, you crown me King of Haiku 
 
			
Trump is so punk-rock
(like Iggy and the Stooges)
He kicks Haiku's ass
by Fury of the imminent orange storm 
 
			
Dear Alan Greenspan:
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
leaves a nasty smell.
by staying in denial, you hasten breakdown of meaningful discourse. 
 
			
What do you get when
a poet takes way too much
laxative?...  Haiku!
by  
 
			
Sexy Starkitten ?
Fat balding hairy old man !
(online persona)
by Myriad Deceptions of the internet 
 
			
Hey! Too much poop-talk.
Starkitten rub off on you?
She bad example.
by Ex-disciple of Wicked Starkitten 
 
			
Pink Floyd at Pompeii
Virtue-signal to the gods
But music still rocks
by Echoes of Meddle 
 
			
Wipe your ass too fast:
You get shit on your fingers.
That's Satori (Zen)
by toilet tissue of the Buddha 
 
			
Truth is, Haiku sucks
Lyrically, poetically...
Yeah. Haiku just sucks.
by the fragrance  of Miso broth and noodles 
 
			
Reactionaries!
Traitors to Revolution!
More vodka please, dear.
by the smoking pipe of Iosif V. Dzhugashvili  
 
			
Big Hollywood stars
Important ceremony
It's TONIGHT,  I think . . .
by the time you read this, America got tired of Hollyweird 
 
			
Evening light falls west
Soft wind stirs the mountain grove
Oh no! Massive fart.
by Basho-san get bad case of Haiku flatulence 
 
			
Haiku in the car
Haiku while in the bathroom
Haiku everywhere
by Haiku not tired  of winning 
 
			
Remember the time
Grandfather got all mixed up
Shit in the breadbox
Must be organic
Sprouted Pumpernickel Loaf?
Baked fresh each morning
by Starkitten  of House of the Rising Loaf 
 
			
We whipped our brassieres
High in leafless tree branches
The cackle of witches
by Switch Witch Bitch
 
			
I am.
You are not.
But this just might be.
I think no one knows for sure.
Here's the point where my dick falls off and I scream.
Holy Mother of God, what the fuck was that bullshit.
If you think about it, this is much better than any old haiku.
Fa-shizzle ma nizzle, not my nipple, snuffleupagus pot pie served hot.
by df