Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 313 Days and 72106 Haikus later...

Had Enuresis
Refused to wear undies on set
Afraid of horses
Haiku # 59483, September 19, 2018 1:36 pm ET
by Starkitten of Hahahahaha
Bad Haiku on the Prairie
Michael Landon: Commando
Hunk of burning love
Haiku # 59482, September 19, 2018 11:53 am ET
by Starkitten of Moist Prairie
This site's never clean.
For nearly twenty-two years.
Do not rock the boat.

Cunt biscuit cheese farts.
Rhino vomit pizza balls.
Dog penis necklace.
Haiku # 59481, September 19, 2018 7:31 am ET
by
Have you yet pondered
the twats of our grandmothers
riding a saddle?
Haiku # 59480, September 19, 2018 7:25 am ET
by
Maniacal Purr
All seeing cat eye on You!
Ceiling Cat on duty!!
Haiku # 59479, September 19, 2018 4:04 am ET
by Starkitten of Everywhere at once
Resolved: no more sleaze.
Haiku will be clean from here,
unlike Starkitten.
Haiku # 59478, September 19, 2018 3:03 am ET
by that I don't mean no use of picturesque language...
RARE DOLPHIN SIGHTING
STRANGELY HUMAN. TINY PENIS.
RECITES BAD HAIKU
Haiku # 59477, September 19, 2018 12:24 am ET
by Starkitten of Roving Reporter.
The Pop Rocks story
Epiphany: THE WRONG HOLE
Greg's Asshole: Swiss Cheese!!
Haiku # 59476, September 19, 2018 12:11 am ET
by Starkitten of Roving Reporter
Cold water. Balls shrivel.
Dink Mosquito bite size now.
Cute as a button
Haiku # 59475, September 18, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by Starkitten
Which would you choose from,
mosquitoes or cold weather.
I take mosquitoes.

I hate them, indeed,
but to swim in cold water
is no fun at all.

So I made my choice.
I wish I was a dolphin.
Time for surgery.
Haiku # 59474, September 18, 2018 9:25 pm ET
by
Although unlikely,
if I won a Nobel Prize,
would be dynamite.
Haiku # 59473, September 18, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by
Paul liked the smell of
skunks freshly hit by a car;
smells like a dime bag.
Haiku # 59472, September 18, 2018 9:18 pm ET
by
He always maintained
a sparkling clean anus
in case Greg showed up.
Haiku # 59471, September 18, 2018 9:15 pm ET
by
They decided to try something different. After moistening his penis inside of her, he pulled it out and poured Pop-Rocks Candy
all over it, then he shoved it back in. Despite the damage it caused, it was the best sex they ever had.
Haiku # 59470, September 18, 2018 9:12 pm ET
by
Soft tortillas cling
to your teeth, gums, and mouth roof
like eating live squid.
Haiku # 59469, September 18, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by
He made passionate
love to a Galapagos
turtle named Susan.
Haiku # 59468, September 18, 2018 9:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Drink instant coffee
Things I never thought I'd do
Nobel Prize: Haiku!!!!!!!
Haiku # 59467, September 18, 2018 7:20 pm ET
by Starkitten
Starry Starry Night
Paint your penis blue and green
Where's the Vaseline?
Haiku # 59466, September 18, 2018 6:18 pm ET
by Starkitten of Vincent Van Goat's Place
Hairless Pink Haiku
Still wet. Glistens. Morning dew.
Was it good for you?
Haiku # 59465, September 18, 2018 5:38 pm ET
by Starkitten of Smoking imaginary cigarette
Thank Miley Cyrus
For letting me crash Bad Haiku
On her wrecking ball!!
Haiku # 59464, September 18, 2018 5:05 pm ET
by Starkitten of Nude with Cattitude!!
Flew with Aer Lingus
Not as expected. Complained.
Upgrade to cockpit
Haiku # 59463, September 18, 2018 4:59 pm ET
by Starkitten Tongues were wagging of The old sod
His Name is Wuji
I know a cat in Burma
Are you familiar?
Haiku # 59462, September 18, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Starkitten and my familiar of Whisker City
Annabella Lwin
you great Burmese prophetess
Sing! Bow wow wow wow
Haiku # 59461, September 18, 2018 2:43 pm ET
by the old Moulmein Pagoda of Mandalay
Fuck haiku. Kill it.
Leave corpse in the filthy mud.
Well . . . I was upset.
Haiku # 59460, September 18, 2018 2:36 pm ET
by negating the Life Force you become slave of DEATH
Buy a loaf of bread:
load banknotes in wheelbarrow
Sorry! Out of bread.
Haiku # 59459, September 18, 2018 2:33 pm ET
by mocking socialism we make light of darkness
Hail Great ZIMBABWE !
Our mother and lioness;
Bread-basket of . . . wait--
Haiku # 59458, September 18, 2018 2:31 pm ET
by by mocking Mama Afrika you show you are not of the blessed Motherland
In love with strangers...
GOD can make you fall in love
with total strangers.
Haiku # 59457, September 18, 2018 2:27 pm ET
by leaving earth become aware of the afterlife
No, no, not "Euro"--
UROgynecology!
You need to listen.
Haiku # 59456, September 18, 2018 1:51 pm ET
by now you ought to know me as Lord of Haiku Lords
Starkitten laugh now
Hacking up giant hair ball
Haiku Tumbleweed
Haiku # 59455, September 18, 2018 1:45 pm ET
by Starkitten of The Moist Pacific Northwest
No one left standing?
You bitches thought you could write
Haiku. You dead now.
Haiku # 59454, September 18, 2018 1:20 pm ET
by reading this, you crown me King of Haiku
Trump is so punk-rock
(like Iggy and the Stooges)
He kicks Haiku's ass
Haiku # 59453, September 18, 2018 1:15 pm ET
by Fury of the imminent orange storm
Dear Alan Greenspan:
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
leaves a nasty smell.
Haiku # 59452, September 18, 2018 12:58 pm ET
by staying in denial, you hasten breakdown of meaningful discourse.
What do you get when
a poet takes way too much
laxative?... Haiku!
Haiku # 59451, September 18, 2018 10:17 am ET
by
Sexy Starkitten ?
Fat balding hairy old man !
(online persona)
Haiku # 59450, September 18, 2018 9:47 am ET
by Myriad Deceptions of the internet
Hey! Too much poop-talk.
Starkitten rub off on you?
She bad example.
Haiku # 59449, September 18, 2018 9:43 am ET
by Ex-disciple of Wicked Starkitten
Pink Floyd at Pompeii
Virtue-signal to the gods
But music still rocks
Haiku # 59448, September 18, 2018 9:24 am ET
by Echoes of Meddle
Wipe your ass too fast:
You get shit on your fingers.
That's Satori (Zen)
Haiku # 59447, September 18, 2018 9:11 am ET
by toilet tissue of the Buddha
Truth is, Haiku sucks
Lyrically, poetically...
Yeah. Haiku just sucks.
Haiku # 59446, September 18, 2018 9:03 am ET
by the fragrance of Miso broth and noodles
Reactionaries!
Traitors to Revolution!
More vodka please, dear.
Haiku # 59445, September 18, 2018 8:57 am ET
by the smoking pipe of Iosif V. Dzhugashvili
Big Hollywood stars
Important ceremony
It's TONIGHT, I think . . .
Haiku # 59444, September 18, 2018 8:48 am ET
by the time you read this, America got tired of Hollyweird
Evening light falls west
Soft wind stirs the mountain grove
Oh no! Massive fart.
Haiku # 59443, September 18, 2018 8:42 am ET
by Basho-san get bad case of Haiku flatulence
Haiku in the car
Haiku while in the bathroom
Haiku everywhere
Haiku # 59442, September 18, 2018 8:36 am ET
by Haiku not tired of winning
Remember the time
Grandfather got all mixed up
Shit in the breadbox

Must be organic
Sprouted Pumpernickel Loaf?
Baked fresh each morning
Haiku # 59441, September 18, 2018 6:31 am ET
by Starkitten of House of the Rising Loaf
We whipped our brassieres
High in leafless tree branches
The cackle of witches
Haiku # 59440, September 18, 2018 6:07 am ET
by Switch Witch Bitch
I am.
You are not.
But this just might be.
I think no one knows for sure.
Here's the point where my dick falls off and I scream.
Holy Mother of God, what the fuck was that bullshit.
If you think about it, this is much better than any old haiku.
Fa-shizzle ma nizzle, not my nipple, snuffleupagus pot pie served hot.
Haiku # 59439, September 18, 2018 5:42 am ET
by df
Mary Lou Retton
Flexible Oompa Loompa
The spawn of Satan
Haiku # 59438, September 18, 2018 3:19 am ET
by Starkitten of Worldwide Haters of Retton, Reagan, and Reeboks
Her ass dribbled like
the pro basketball team that
she just had sex with.
Haiku # 59437, September 18, 2018 2:59 am ET
by df
Pink Floyd at Pompeii.
Sacrifice virgins to gods.
But lava still flows.
Haiku # 59436, September 18, 2018 2:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just don't kill yourself.
You'll burn in Hell forever!
And I'll be there too.
Haiku # 59435, September 18, 2018 2:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Rolling in feces.
Chef prepared roast beef dinner.
The dreams of all dogs.
Haiku # 59434, September 18, 2018 12:03 am ET
by Starkitten
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