Danny's small penis
was no match for Jennifer's
gaping vagina.

Comparing her vagina to an over-stuffed Chipoltle burrito, Alex had the car door slammed in his face as his now ex-girlfriend peeled out and left him stranded in the hood. He made some new friends and took them over to his side of town to treat them to some Chipoltle, hand crafted beer, and white girls. The barista at the Insomnia all night coffee shop gave them all extra good blowjobs before they returned to the hood and Alex called up his girlfriend and made up with her, saying that his comparison was meant as a compliment because he likes eating Chipoltle burritos and he really wanted his car back. When she met him he bitch-smacked her and did her doggie style half the night and screwed her like a black man would. She loved it.
It had been a good day.

Let's have a party.
Paul Reubens for president!
A Playhouse Party.

By "party" I mean
a political party.
Chairy for VP.

This is no haiku.
But then what did you expect,
a huge vagina?!

Ex sister in law
Had ass skin grafted to face
I Called her Assface

Sir David Schwimmer
Spanking the monkey on Friends
Thanks a lot, Marcel..

Silly Starkitten
Don't you ever grow tired
Of biology?

basically i want
to clone myself and spank the rear
ends of each gen z

sjw and burn
their syllubuses and force them
into boot camp for three

months...I am frustrated
thanks a fucking bunch Marcuse

Class Action Lawsuit
Cunt Muffler faulty product
Slippery when wet

Silence your horrible vagina!
I can hear it from the other
side of the world!

Rugged Pioneers
Used Gran's cunt for a saddle
Made it way out west

Oh, but the horseflies?!
Solution to that popped up.
Grandpa's Fly Swatter

Don't mind me staring
Admiring your geoduck
Pants zipper got stuck?

Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah
Shout out to The Jetson's fans
That means I Love You

He is the Walrus
Baculum Street Boyz are back!
They're bad to the bone!

Kaleidoscope Kunt
David Crosby's baculum
Psychedelic, man!!

Fi re counts as two
Jose Feliciano?
Jim Morrison?

More four-letter words!
Utterances of the Gods
(The Potty-mouth Gods)

Crushin' Illusion;
But they babble on about
Russian Collusion

That Starkitten. . . she
got a TV eye on me
just like Iggy said.

High as fire*
Frolicking atop The flame
Valerie Plame: lame

* 2 syllables in my "fi-re"

Had Enuresis
Refused to wear undies on set
Afraid of horses

Bad Haiku on the Prairie
Michael Landon: Commando
Hunk of burning love

This site's never clean.
For nearly twenty-two years.
Do not rock the boat.

Cunt biscuit cheese farts.
Rhino vomit pizza balls.
Dog penis necklace.

Have you yet pondered
the twats of our grandmothers
riding a saddle?

Maniacal Purr
All seeing cat eye on You!
Ceiling Cat on duty!!

Resolved: no more sleaze.
Haiku will be clean from here,
unlike Starkitten.

RARE DOLPHIN SIGHTING
STRANGELY HUMAN. TINY PENIS.
RECITES BAD HAIKU

The Pop Rocks story
Epiphany: THE WRONG HOLE
Greg's Asshole: Swiss Cheese!!

Cold water. Balls shrivel.
Dink Mosquito bite size now.
Cute as a button

Which would you choose from,
mosquitoes or cold weather.
I take mosquitoes.

I hate them, indeed,
but to swim in cold water
is no fun at all.

So I made my choice.
I wish I was a dolphin.
Time for surgery.

Although unlikely,
if I won a Nobel Prize,
would be dynamite.

Paul liked the smell of
skunks freshly hit by a car;
smells like a dime bag.

He always maintained
a sparkling clean anus
in case Greg showed up.

They decided to try something different. After moistening his penis inside of her, he pulled it out and poured Pop-Rocks Candy
all over it, then he shoved it back in. Despite the damage it caused, it was the best sex they ever had.

Soft tortillas cling
to your teeth, gums, and mouth roof
like eating live squid.

He made passionate
love to a Galapagos
turtle named Susan.

Drink instant coffee
Things I never thought I'd do
Nobel Prize: Haiku!!!!!!!

Starry Starry Night
Paint your penis blue and green
Where's the Vaseline?

Hairless Pink Haiku
Still wet. Glistens. Morning dew.
Was it good for you?

Thank Miley Cyrus
For letting me crash Bad Haiku
On her wrecking ball!!

Flew with Aer Lingus
Not as expected. Complained.
Upgrade to cockpit

His Name is Wuji
I know a cat in Burma
Are you familiar?

Annabella Lwin
you great Burmese prophetess
Sing! Bow wow wow wow

Fuck haiku. Kill it.
Leave corpse in the filthy mud.
Well . . . I was upset.

Buy a loaf of bread:
load banknotes in wheelbarrow
Sorry! Out of bread.

Hail Great ZIMBABWE !
Our mother and lioness;
Bread-basket of . . . wait--

In love with strangers...
GOD can make you fall in love
with total strangers.

No, no, not "Euro"--
UROgynecology!
You need to listen.

Starkitten laugh now
Hacking up giant hair ball
Haiku Tumbleweed

No one left standing?
You bitches thought you could write
Haiku. You dead now.