Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
well slayer of big
philistines, arevyou going
to out me liking

green mage girls?
Haiku # 58598 June 5, 2018 10:04 am ET
by vhs
Just remember that
Drone with Linux as OS...
That's some funny shit
Haiku # 58597 June 4, 2018 8:42 pm ET
by dvd of Fromage Au Trois
if sci fi video
game movies are more compelling
than my writing i

need a lot more practice
Haiku # 58596 June 4, 2018 10:15 am ET
by vhs
i keep going
despite what's happening in
the world as i see...
Haiku # 58595 June 3, 2018 8:52 am ET
by vhs
arbitrary rules set
by men and women with the
will to power, void

no spirit
Haiku # 58594 June 2, 2018 12:59 pm ET
by vhs of empty
alice in chains must
have had a good night with her
Dom to make a band
Haiku # 58593 June 2, 2018 1:35 am ET
by vhs of somethings gonna turn out right
Look up "contrabass saxophone"
On YouTube (1st result) to hear what
I think that... um, movement must have Sounded like, skip ahead to 1 minute
Or alternatively, while listening
Imagine an overly confident and Morbidly obese person walking down The street eating ice cream
Haiku # 58592 June 2, 2018 12:45 am ET
by Name of Location
well i knew you had
faith to move mountains df
not quite what...i thought
Haiku # 58591 June 1, 2018 2:15 pm ET
by vhs of cat
I pooped a mountain.
But then it washed out to sea.
The fish were not pleased.
Haiku # 58590 June 1, 2018 3:08 am ET
by DF
add pennywise and
the characters from fifth element
and you get fan fiction
Haiku # 58589 May 31, 2018 10:41 am ET
by vhs
I like underground.
Storm drain tunnel exploring.
Shoot bottle rockets.

Imagine a bunch of fireworks being shot out of a storm gutter and there's no way to get down there that you can see. And the fireworks are being shot out right in front of your house and from down in the tunnel you hear maniacal laughter of the rat-troll-people echoing in the cavern like labyrinth.

Molotov cocktails. Acres of bad graffiti. Mushrooms and marijuana. And one dim flashlight.
Haiku # 58588 May 31, 2018 4:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i found out about
nasty underground evil
rat people, skaven

no its not a trip
on mescaline, it a game
known as warhammer

and these little fucks
are vicious evil chaos
underground dwellers

like certain internet trolls
(not u oh vogon overlord)
Haiku # 58587 May 30, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by vhs of internet search skavenblight, yes yes?
i meant down, i aint
down with how it saw dow but
dow is up, not down
Haiku # 58586 May 30, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by vhs of jones that is
they say the old way
of doing things is dow and
here i am, doing
Haiku # 58585 May 30, 2018 10:44 pm ET
by vhs
And it's FigPucker!
Those cute little fig dimples.
I really like figs.

The fresh ones are best.
Not the cookies or dried figs,
but figs off the tree.

Best when very ripe.
Soft and juicy, just like a
chicken's tight asshole.

I'm pure hillbilly.
Love fuckin' me some chickens.
Eat them afterwards.

Church potluck dinner.
I laugh to watch them eat my
chicken in fig sauce.
Haiku # 58584 May 28, 2018 2:48 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I know only this:
Genuine happiness is
a squashed mosquito.
Haiku # 58583 May 28, 2018 2:34 pm ET
by DF
a voice in the wild
erness memorial the plans are but cut short
Haiku # 58582 May 28, 2018 11:12 am ET
by vha
i hate to invoke
my insignifcant self
but here the man is
Haiku # 58581 May 26, 2018 2:26 pm ET
by vhs
here comes the rain, again
the fall, totalitarian
disinterest

gen x, wake up...weve
got to unleash darth pigfucker
on big brother
Haiku # 58580 May 26, 2018 10:42 am ET
by vhs
when is it that folks
give up, let go and stop the
forcing of life things?
Haiku # 58579 May 25, 2018 11:13 am ET
by vhs
been bust talking to
people who hypnotize their
minds, fetish reasons
Haiku # 58578 May 24, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by vhs
Rolls of sumo fat
and elaborate tattoos
distract from small dick.

Purulent and red
from the many whore houses;
weep for the towel.

It knows well the hills
of fried squid topography
unnatural stench.
Haiku # 58577 May 24, 2018 12:30 am ET
by df of vogsphere
Sentient towel.
Wet Japanese businessman.
True unhappiness.
Haiku # 58576 May 23, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by df of 42 Intergalactic Towel Day Vogon Poetry Competition
With enormous zest
the old woman scratched her ass.
Near ripped her panties.

The filthy old drunk
moaned as he humped the sidewalk,
having found true love.

They know happiness.
More than I can say for you,
miserable poet!
Haiku # 58575 May 23, 2018 7:27 am ET
by df
Emily Post erred.
She neglected to mention
road kill etiquette.

It is proper to
make love to your road kill first
before serving it?

And if so, should one
discuss this at the table
or don't tell the guests?

What wine should be served?
Which hooch goes best with possum
and won't come back up?
Haiku # 58574 May 22, 2018 5:52 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Buy a rubber suit
that allows you to suck farts
like scuba divers.
Haiku # 58573 May 21, 2018 10:28 pm ET
by www.fart-mask.com
Buy a rubber suit
that allows you to suck farts
like scuba divers.
Haiku # 58572 May 21, 2018 10:28 pm ET
by www.fart-mask.com
Do not eat boogers.
Find a better protein source.
Ask your local vet.
Haiku # 58571 May 21, 2018 9:03 pm ET
by DF of Vogsphere
Some men fuck chickens.
Others rape them, but real men
make love to their hens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7_GNgfzRvo
Haiku # 58570 May 21, 2018 8:54 pm ET
by DF
well it's still here but
we do post again, again
casey up at bat
Haiku # 58569 May 20, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by vhs
My vagina hurts.
Oh, wait, I have a penis.
that would explain it.
Haiku # 58568 May 20, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
it's quiet by the
old website like an old bar
old timers only
Haiku # 58567 May 19, 2018 9:50 am ET
by vhs
i wonder if there
was a website called badger
haiku in the past
Haiku # 58566 May 18, 2018 11:15 am ET
by vhs
pan galactic and
gargle, crushed the mind with a
gold brick so they say

don't forget your towel my froods
Haiku # 58565 May 16, 2018 11:45 am ET
by vhs of xx
hernia repaired
though my balzac is blackened
and my manhood bruised
Haiku # 58564 May 16, 2018 9:41 am ET
by ash
Oh, that reminds me:
Towel Day is approaching.
You know what I mean.

Some froods might call it
"International", but it's
"Intergalactic".

Vogon poetry
Is a must during these weeks
so expect the worst.
Haiku # 58563 May 16, 2018 6:37 am ET
by DF
After a bad flu,
snotted so hard it's like a
nasal orgasm.

Thick and congealed.
My sinuses feel emptied.
And now I can breathe.
Haiku # 58562 May 16, 2018 6:34 am ET
by DF
That does not make sense.
I am totally lost now.
Crackers curb sex... HOW?
Haiku # 58561 May 16, 2018 6:27 am ET
by df
graham crackers were
meant to cut down on sex but
someone thought it was

a great idea to
put peanut butter on them
and they do taste good
Haiku # 58560 May 15, 2018 11:44 pm ET
by vhs
Telll me you don't eat
Graham cracker hamburgers;
that would be... nasty.
Haiku # 58559 May 15, 2018 7:17 pm ET
by df of At a cockfight.
the day has won but
hope is rising, i am not
used to having hope

summer
Haiku # 58558 May 15, 2018 11:16 am ET
by vhs of well i guess i have to get used to good things...ironically
somehow grahams number
became a meme at my job
but its a kitchen

and i love the stuff
like...burger...burger...burger!!
grahams burgers...yes?

summer
Haiku # 58557 May 15, 2018 10:58 am ET
by vhs of thats for chaos doll
How often can one
solve quadratic equations
in one day for cash

before utterly
losing one's mind and running
outside nude and hard

screaming to the world
"Come get some big hard math cock,
fucking equations!"
Haiku # 58556 May 14, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by df of Bellevue Insane Asylum
My wife's ass is huge.
I get more enjoyment from
posting haiku here.
Haiku # 58555 May 14, 2018 8:38 pm ET
by DF of not at the local brothel, but wishing I was.
It's been a long time
since I've posted Viagra
spam to piss you off.

www.cheapviagrafromcanadabutreallyfromchina.com
Haiku # 58554 May 14, 2018 8:32 pm ET
by mxllwhiplfux of USA... no really!
well gotta get the
gattah...CHOOT DA GATTAH, CHOOT
It CHOOT DA GATTAH!

summer
Haiku # 58553 May 14, 2018 3:34 pm ET
by that guy from swamp people done by vhs of maine
It's interesting
Watching the bait squirm around
Before it's eaten.
Haiku # 58552 May 13, 2018 2:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
if i were ego
tripping on fame gen x
would def. not care....fall
Haiku # 58551 May 12, 2018 11:44 am ET
by vhs of chaos says real haiku mention a season
The best flautus are produced with flautas.
Haiku # 58550 May 12, 2018 4:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Flautus:
farting into a flute with enough velocity as to produce a flute sound.
Haiku # 58549 May 11, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >