BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
70 Days
69712 Haikus
i hate to invoke
my insignifcant self
but here the man is
Haiku #58581, by vhs
May 26, 2018 2:26 pm ET

here comes the rain, again
the fall, totalitarian

gen x, wake up...weve
got to unleash darth pigfucker
on big brother
Haiku #58580, by vhs
May 26, 2018 10:42 am ET

when is it that folks
give up, let go and stop the
forcing of life things?
Haiku #58579, by vhs
May 25, 2018 11:13 am ET

been bust talking to
people who hypnotize their
minds, fetish reasons
Haiku #58578, by vhs
May 24, 2018 11:55 pm ET

Rolls of sumo fat
and elaborate tattoos
distract from small dick.

Purulent and red
from the many whore houses;
weep for the towel.

It knows well the hills
of fried squid topography
unnatural stench.
Haiku #58577, by df of vogsphere
May 24, 2018 12:30 am ET

Sentient towel.
Wet Japanese businessman.
True unhappiness.
Haiku #58576, by df of 42 Intergalactic Towel Day Vogon Poetry Competition
May 23, 2018 8:21 pm ET

With enormous zest
the old woman scratched her ass.
Near ripped her panties.

The filthy old drunk
moaned as he humped the sidewalk,
having found true love.

They know happiness.
More than I can say for you,
miserable poet!
Haiku #58575, by df
May 23, 2018 7:27 am ET

Emily Post erred.
She neglected to mention
road kill etiquette.

It is proper to
make love to your road kill first
before serving it?

And if so, should one
discuss this at the table
or don't tell the guests?

What wine should be served?
Which hooch goes best with possum
and won't come back up?
Haiku #58574, by Darth Figpucker
May 22, 2018 5:52 pm ET

Buy a rubber suit
that allows you to suck farts
like scuba divers.
Haiku #58573, by
May 21, 2018 10:28 pm ET

Buy a rubber suit
that allows you to suck farts
like scuba divers.
Haiku #58572, by
May 21, 2018 10:28 pm ET

Do not eat boogers.
Find a better protein source.
Ask your local vet.
Haiku #58571, by DF of Vogsphere
May 21, 2018 9:03 pm ET

Some men fuck chickens.
Others rape them, but real men
make love to their hens.
Haiku #58570, by DF
May 21, 2018 8:54 pm ET

well it's still here but
we do post again, again
casey up at bat
Haiku #58569, by vhs
May 20, 2018 8:45 pm ET

My vagina hurts.
Oh, wait, I have a penis.
that would explain it.
Haiku #58568, by Darth Figpucker
May 20, 2018 5:01 am ET

it's quiet by the
old website like an old bar
old timers only
Haiku #58567, by vhs
May 19, 2018 9:50 am ET

i wonder if there
was a website called badger
haiku in the past
Haiku #58566, by vhs
May 18, 2018 11:15 am ET

pan galactic and
gargle, crushed the mind with a
gold brick so they say

don't forget your towel my froods
Haiku #58565, by vhs of xx
May 16, 2018 11:45 am ET

hernia repaired
though my balzac is blackened
and my manhood bruised
Haiku #58564, by ash
May 16, 2018 9:41 am ET

Oh, that reminds me:
Towel Day is approaching.
You know what I mean.

Some froods might call it
"International", but it's

Vogon poetry
Is a must during these weeks
so expect the worst.
Haiku #58563, by DF
May 16, 2018 6:37 am ET

After a bad flu,
snotted so hard it's like a
nasal orgasm.

Thick and congealed.
My sinuses feel emptied.
And now I can breathe.
Haiku #58562, by DF
May 16, 2018 6:34 am ET

That does not make sense.
I am totally lost now.
Crackers curb sex... HOW?
Haiku #58561, by df
May 16, 2018 6:27 am ET

graham crackers were
meant to cut down on sex but
someone thought it was

a great idea to
put peanut butter on them
and they do taste good
Haiku #58560, by vhs
May 15, 2018 11:44 pm ET

Telll me you don't eat
Graham cracker hamburgers;
that would be... nasty.
Haiku #58559, by df of At a cockfight.
May 15, 2018 7:17 pm ET

the day has won but
hope is rising, i am not
used to having hope

Haiku #58558, by vhs of well i guess i have to get used to good things...ironically
May 15, 2018 11:16 am ET

somehow grahams number
became a meme at my job
but its a kitchen

and i love the stuff
grahams burgers...yes?

Haiku #58557, by vhs of thats for chaos doll
May 15, 2018 10:58 am ET

How often can one
solve quadratic equations
in one day for cash

before utterly
losing one's mind and running
outside nude and hard

screaming to the world
"Come get some big hard math cock,
fucking equations!"
Haiku #58556, by df of Bellevue Insane Asylum
May 14, 2018 8:48 pm ET

My wife's ass is huge.
I get more enjoyment from
posting haiku here.
Haiku #58555, by DF of not at the local brothel, but wishing I was.
May 14, 2018 8:38 pm ET

It's been a long time
since I've posted Viagra
spam to piss you off.
Haiku #58554, by mxllwhiplfux of USA... no really!
May 14, 2018 8:32 pm ET

well gotta get the

Haiku #58553, by that guy from swamp people done by vhs of maine
May 14, 2018 3:34 pm ET

It's interesting
Watching the bait squirm around
Before it's eaten.
Haiku #58552, by Anonymous Poet
May 13, 2018 2:06 am ET

if i were ego
tripping on fame gen x
would def. not care....fall
Haiku #58551, by vhs of chaos says real haiku mention a season
May 12, 2018 11:44 am ET

The best flautus are produced with flautas.
Haiku #58550, by Anonymous Poet
May 12, 2018 4:00 am ET

farting into a flute with enough velocity as to produce a flute sound.
Haiku #58549, by Anonymous Poet
May 11, 2018 10:45 pm ET

well i know you are
a real doll miss, and memes me
makes men moxie
Haiku #58548, by vhs
May 11, 2018 12:28 am ET

so it is shut down
a broken thing being chill
kick thou in the arse
Haiku #58547, by vhs
May 11, 2018 12:25 am ET

Core is the answer
Yes, we know what your seeking
And soon comes the fall
Haiku #58546, by Chaos of Sagittarius A
May 11, 2018 12:25 am ET

well i train a new
one tomorrow perhaps we
be feeling good, aight?
Haiku #58545, by vhs
May 11, 2018 12:06 am ET

Imagining John
The dishwasher in Limbo
Only one smiling
: D
Haiku #58544, by dvd of Robonia
May 10, 2018 2:24 pm ET

updating life the
spaces are empty urban
explorers prevail
Haiku #58543, by vhs
May 10, 2018 10:55 am ET

the day is
tourists, air conditioners
selfies w lobster traps
Haiku #58542, by vhs
May 9, 2018 1:25 pm ET

i read tarot and
i pray, must be malfunction
faith wise here right now
Haiku #58541, by vhs
May 8, 2018 11:13 am ET

im not sure what to
say in this era...just wait, see
and survive to see
Haiku #58540, by vhs
May 7, 2018 11:56 pm ET

drencrom is also
the name of a black metal
band, so 'satanic'

im not really
shocked by skeletons giving
women sex acts on

album covers anymore

woo...latex pony girls...i married someone who was into that...funny
if that became real, and we were happy
Haiku #58539, by vhs
May 7, 2018 11:51 am ET

heres the thing...ash is
not real, not who is posting
in real life...hes real

but like vhs and df
and others this is just like
so much else and i

see, an escape, in
the end it does matter but
it should not, really
Haiku #58538, by vhs
May 7, 2018 11:04 am ET

well youre still here, and
i am too...and this place is
and im posting now
Haiku #58537, by vhs
May 7, 2018 10:50 am ET

there's this empty shell
that still reminds me of you
too infrequently
Haiku #58536, by ash
May 7, 2018 8:40 am ET

Drencrom is basically an adrenaline derivative but has never been proven to be effective. It was given some hype I think by Fear and Loathing where Thompson made up some kind of fictional drug derived from the adrenal gland. I don't think I'm going to chew up any hijacked adrenal glands from a mortuary or anything in an attempt to get high. Especially since it's doubtful that it would work.
Haiku #58535, by df
May 7, 2018 7:32 am ET

one moloko drencrom
add hersheys syrup, now what
does drencrom do again?
Haiku #58534, by vhs
May 6, 2018 9:00 am ET

drink a beer at once
at the same time fiftf of may
sychronized de myo
Haiku #58533, by vhs
May 5, 2018 11:49 pm ET

lesson do not cry
over spilled seed though onan
certainly did so...
Haiku #58532, by vhs
May 4, 2018 11:29 pm ET