Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 163 Days and 77044 Haiku later...

someone lost their temper
over spilled birdseed on the
ground today, i kicked

a plastic tote and
broke it, and was told to replace
it, life is funny
Haiku # 58531, May 4, 2018 12:24 pm ET
by vhs
im not inspired
friends are not well, i fear health
psychopaths have it easy
Haiku # 58530, May 3, 2018 12:14 pm ET
by vhs
Captchas that have worked:
poop, ass pie, monkey balls, dork,
huge dildo, zit bags.
Haiku # 58529, May 3, 2018 12:55 am ET
by df
John F Kennedy
had lots and lots of sex with
Marilyn Manson.
Haiku # 58528, May 3, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
mayday, mayday, i
feel like the song hurt cuz all
i know in the end

go away
Haiku # 58527, May 3, 2018 12:30 am ET
by vhs
ive books on my bed
im sleeping on a bible
can you explain that?
Haiku # 58526, May 3, 2018 12:01 am ET
by vhs
The orange gorilla
thumped its chest and shat hugely.
'Twas an awesome shat.
Haiku # 58525, May 2, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by df
is it the final
resting place of the maui
like easter island?
Haiku # 58524, May 2, 2018 2:24 pm ET
by vhs
will it work, am i
seeing into the past like
the old pyramids
Haiku # 58523, May 1, 2018 11:14 pm ET
by vhs
i hope to see the
df and the dvd again
at some point on here
Haiku # 58522, May 1, 2018 9:47 pm ET
by vhs
starcrash, brought to us
by roger corman, is a
bad star wars knockoff

aka fun movie
Haiku # 58521, May 1, 2018 9:25 pm ET
by vhs
beltaine the folks
who worship The Goddess say
I test the maypole
Haiku # 58520, May 1, 2018 9:18 pm ET
by vhs
each one of these here
haiku is a test to see
how well this thing works
Haiku # 58519, May 1, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by vhs
people try to keep
on with their habits till they
can't do anymore
Haiku # 58518, May 1, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by vhs
it seems you can post
but you have to fight with the
dead coding google
Haiku # 58517, May 1, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by vhs
i have no idea
why people run the woodstove
during the springtime
Haiku # 58516, May 1, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by vhs
skip, skip, skip, skip i
will not buy this record eet
is skrrratched.......scratched....
Haiku # 58515, May 1, 2018 9:01 pm ET
by vhs
i expect too much
of others and lose sight of
my own life and self
Haiku # 58514, May 1, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by vhs
i expect too much
of others and lose sight of
my own life and self
Haiku # 58513, May 1, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes who knows why
sometimes the only thing to
do is stop and breathe
Haiku # 58512, May 1, 2018 8:46 pm ET
by vhs
what is wrong, why is
it wrong, who benefits, is it
entropy or evil?

what can be done...
Haiku # 58511, April 30, 2018 11:16 am ET
by vhs
unfortunately, that my friend
is what happens to snap
decaying social systems vack in shape

too many people left to their own
devices well, empty mall spaces
Haiku # 58510, April 30, 2018 11:00 am ET
by vhs
A kick start such as?
A gigantic tsunami?
A nuclear war?

Seriously though, I really feel the only way the human race is going to advance is if a horrible disaster shakes and wakes and even then I have strong doubts. We like the easy path all too much. Look at me now. I could be cleaning litter off the beach at this very moment, but I'm being a math whore on my computer.

Given the balanced reaction if x moles of A react with y moles of B, which is the limiting reactant and what are the theoretical yields of C and D in units of grams, and the percent yield of C given that z grams of it were produced and Big Bird takes it up the wazzoo from Snuffy all night long while high on crack?

Yep, I'm so awesome. Look at me go. Watch me whip, watch me nay nay.... whatever the fuck that even means.
Haiku # 58509, April 29, 2018 11:06 pm ET
by df
things could improve but
it needs a good kickstart to
rile life up again
Haiku # 58508, April 29, 2018 5:48 pm ET
by vhs of i repeat, youre right
i HATE HaaTE facebook, fakebook
mark suckerburgs piggy bank..
give me geocities
Haiku # 58507, April 29, 2018 9:02 am ET
by vhs
no, i agree, but
despite the loss of bookstores,
record stores, video stores,
we still have discord servers
and The Hitler Parodies
Damn Fourth Turnings...i miss
Haiku # 58506, April 29, 2018 9:01 am ET
by vhs of go to youtube for The Hitler Parodies
Things keep getting worse.
Has anyone noticed this?
Or is it just me?
Haiku # 58505, April 29, 2018 5:08 am ET
by df
Christ... Yes, Clerks is from the 90's.
There were video rental stores in the 90's.
People didn't vegetate to Farcebook and PooTube All day.
Bill Clinton was president.
And my rectum wasn't prolapsed.
The good old days.
Or something.
Haiku # 58504, April 29, 2018 5:06 am ET
by df
clerks was a movie
found their soundtrack, seems dated
video rentals???
Haiku # 58503, April 29, 2018 1:27 am ET
by vhs
The wife is asleep.
Now it's time to download porn.
I'll spunk in her shoe.
Haiku # 58502, April 28, 2018 10:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have to give up.
What do you call such people?
And now the drum roll.....
Haiku # 58501, April 28, 2018 10:46 am ET
by df
what do you call a
person concieved at a drive
in movie theatre
Haiku # 58500, April 28, 2018 12:30 am ET
by vhs
On a serious
note, I recall that John Wayne
Bobbit had a kid...

conceived in one of
his reattached penis flicks.
Now that's one cool kid!

I am so jealous.
Imagine being a porn
baby from Bobbit.
Haiku # 58499, April 26, 2018 8:52 pm ET
by df
Is gen-XXX
anyone conceived in a
70's porn flick?
Haiku # 58498, April 26, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by df
To disturbitate
is to masturbate in a
disturbing manner.
Haiku # 58497, April 26, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by df
The bad thing about
being a whore is the lack
of any real sleep.

I see why white trash
losers enjoy meth so much.
But I have coffee.

Considering the
way I brew my coffee, it
is far worse than meth.
Haiku # 58496, April 26, 2018 8:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate Math Whore Who Sometimes Writes Offensive Poetry and/or Stories and/or Novels.
If I had a dime
for each time vhs used
the phrase "gen-x", well...
Haiku # 58495, April 26, 2018 12:38 pm ET
by df
the whole baby boom
falls under prophet gen as
neil howe said.. And mine

gen x would just like
to walk away, look up the
poem footprints which

could be found in much
christian bookstorage, and read
the damn thing for me
Haiku # 58494, April 25, 2018 11:52 am ET
by vhs
i have no idea
you know sugar is bad so
think on those ideas
Haiku # 58493, April 25, 2018 9:58 am ET
by vhs
Do you know what's the
LD-50 in humans
for Coca-Cola?

Asking for a friend.
But we know that is a lie.
I don't have any.
Haiku # 58492, April 25, 2018 8:09 am ET
by df
induced erotic pleasure
ballistic semen.
Haiku # 58491, April 24, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by df
life has to go on
even when the shock of death
stalks the live wires
Haiku # 58490, April 24, 2018 10:41 pm ET
by vhs
keeping you all in my
thoughts right now
Haiku # 58489, April 23, 2018 10:08 pm ET
by vhs
Pachyderm sperm worm
in the permafrost got lost.
Recreate mammoths.

I think I'll have the
large McMastodon burger
with heirloom French fries.

I know what you'll say.
Sadly, dino DNA
no longer exists.
Haiku # 58488, April 23, 2018 8:18 pm ET
by df
Haiku # 58487, April 23, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by df
charles bukowski...hmm
1997 or so
the big lebowski

paralells between the two?
Haiku # 58486, April 22, 2018 11:45 pm ET
by vhs
Walking in circles
Cold, raining, miserable
Dog won't defecate
Haiku # 58485, April 22, 2018 3:54 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
actually wrote a
cthulhu story long time
Haiku # 58484, April 22, 2018 8:59 am ET
by vhs
ive seen cthulhu
i thought it would go good with
cocktail sauce, fried up

the damn thing fled
Haiku # 58483, April 22, 2018 1:03 am ET
by vhs
Caught no fish today
Insanity is going
Fishing Tomorrow
Haiku # 58482, April 21, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
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