Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 155 Days and 77034 Haiku later...

A kick start such as?
A gigantic tsunami?
A nuclear war?

Seriously though, I really feel the only way the human race is going to advance is if a horrible disaster shakes and wakes and even then I have strong doubts. We like the easy path all too much. Look at me now. I could be cleaning litter off the beach at this very moment, but I'm being a math whore on my computer.

Given the balanced reaction if x moles of A react with y moles of B, which is the limiting reactant and what are the theoretical yields of C and D in units of grams, and the percent yield of C given that z grams of it were produced and Big Bird takes it up the wazzoo from Snuffy all night long while high on crack?

Yep, I'm so awesome. Look at me go. Watch me whip, watch me nay nay.... whatever the fuck that even means.
Haiku # 58509, April 29, 2018 11:06 pm ET
by df
things could improve but
it needs a good kickstart to
rile life up again
Haiku # 58508, April 29, 2018 5:48 pm ET
by vhs of i repeat, youre right
i HATE HaaTE facebook, fakebook
mark suckerburgs piggy bank..
give me geocities
Haiku # 58507, April 29, 2018 9:02 am ET
by vhs
no, i agree, but
despite the loss of bookstores,
record stores, video stores,
we still have discord servers
and The Hitler Parodies
Damn Fourth Turnings...i miss
Haiku # 58506, April 29, 2018 9:01 am ET
by vhs of go to youtube for The Hitler Parodies
Things keep getting worse.
Has anyone noticed this?
Or is it just me?
Haiku # 58505, April 29, 2018 5:08 am ET
by df
Christ... Yes, Clerks is from the 90's.
There were video rental stores in the 90's.
People didn't vegetate to Farcebook and PooTube All day.
Bill Clinton was president.
And my rectum wasn't prolapsed.
The good old days.
Or something.
Haiku # 58504, April 29, 2018 5:06 am ET
by df
clerks was a movie
found their soundtrack, seems dated
video rentals???
Haiku # 58503, April 29, 2018 1:27 am ET
by vhs
The wife is asleep.
Now it's time to download porn.
I'll spunk in her shoe.
Haiku # 58502, April 28, 2018 10:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have to give up.
What do you call such people?
And now the drum roll.....
Haiku # 58501, April 28, 2018 10:46 am ET
by df
what do you call a
person concieved at a drive
in movie theatre
Haiku # 58500, April 28, 2018 12:30 am ET
by vhs
On a serious
note, I recall that John Wayne
Bobbit had a kid...

conceived in one of
his reattached penis flicks.
Now that's one cool kid!

I am so jealous.
Imagine being a porn
baby from Bobbit.
Haiku # 58499, April 26, 2018 8:52 pm ET
by df
Is gen-XXX
anyone conceived in a
70's porn flick?
Haiku # 58498, April 26, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by df
To disturbitate
is to masturbate in a
disturbing manner.
Haiku # 58497, April 26, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by df
The bad thing about
being a whore is the lack
of any real sleep.

I see why white trash
losers enjoy meth so much.
But I have coffee.

Considering the
way I brew my coffee, it
is far worse than meth.
Haiku # 58496, April 26, 2018 8:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate Math Whore Who Sometimes Writes Offensive Poetry and/or Stories and/or Novels.
If I had a dime
for each time vhs used
the phrase "gen-x", well...
Haiku # 58495, April 26, 2018 12:38 pm ET
by df
the whole baby boom
falls under prophet gen as
neil howe said.. And mine

gen x would just like
to walk away, look up the
poem footprints which

could be found in much
christian bookstorage, and read
the damn thing for me
Haiku # 58494, April 25, 2018 11:52 am ET
by vhs
i have no idea
you know sugar is bad so
think on those ideas
Haiku # 58493, April 25, 2018 9:58 am ET
by vhs
Do you know what's the
LD-50 in humans
for Coca-Cola?

Asking for a friend.
But we know that is a lie.
I don't have any.
Haiku # 58492, April 25, 2018 8:09 am ET
by df
induced erotic pleasure
ballistic semen.
Haiku # 58491, April 24, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by df
life has to go on
even when the shock of death
stalks the live wires
Haiku # 58490, April 24, 2018 10:41 pm ET
by vhs
keeping you all in my
thoughts right now
Haiku # 58489, April 23, 2018 10:08 pm ET
by vhs
Pachyderm sperm worm
in the permafrost got lost.
Recreate mammoths.

I think I'll have the
large McMastodon burger
with heirloom French fries.

I know what you'll say.
Sadly, dino DNA
no longer exists.
Haiku # 58488, April 23, 2018 8:18 pm ET
by df
Haiku # 58487, April 23, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by df
charles bukowski...hmm
1997 or so
the big lebowski

paralells between the two?
Haiku # 58486, April 22, 2018 11:45 pm ET
by vhs
Walking in circles
Cold, raining, miserable
Dog won't defecate
Haiku # 58485, April 22, 2018 3:54 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
actually wrote a
cthulhu story long time
Haiku # 58484, April 22, 2018 8:59 am ET
by vhs
ive seen cthulhu
i thought it would go good with
cocktail sauce, fried up

the damn thing fled
Haiku # 58483, April 22, 2018 1:03 am ET
by vhs
Caught no fish today
Insanity is going
Fishing Tomorrow
Haiku # 58482, April 21, 2018 4:32 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
five minutes and an
hour before work, alexa
whats a haiku?

answer: never ask me that again
you misogynist to female computer
Haiku # 58481, April 21, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by vhs
You don't understand
the enormity of the
situation here.

That is the best phrase
that has ever been uttered
in a porn movie.
Haiku # 58480, April 21, 2018 12:17 am ET
by df
I feel bad for the
cephalopods of Japan;
the things they must do.

Then they are eaten.
Horrible, just horrible.
And not even kissed.
Haiku # 58479, April 20, 2018 6:11 pm ET
He had girls panties,
having been worn and not washed,
stuffed in his brief case.
Haiku # 58478, April 20, 2018 6:05 pm ET
A Japanese man
read the haiku on this site
and died from disgust.
Haiku # 58477, April 20, 2018 6:03 pm ET
Dadaism sucks.
Salvador Dali is dead.
Giraffe frog clock pie.
Haiku # 58476, April 20, 2018 6:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Allergic to cats
Own a cat I love dearly
Love means suffering
Haiku # 58475, April 20, 2018 2:30 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
im dealing with so called
real life so i will get back
to you after ... life
Haiku # 58474, April 20, 2018 11:44 am ET
by vhs of where the hell is marvin when you need him
But the same guy writes books about
Magic and vaginal exercises so
I'm not sure how seriously I take him
Haiku # 58473, April 20, 2018 6:04 am ET
by cyborg of nothing wrong with exercising the old vag every once in a while, though
Learned about it from a guy that grew
Superweed for the government in the
70's, Lunar Base Alpha I think it was Called, they figured it would be good
To know how to do in lunar conditions
All for science of course
Haiku # 58472, April 20, 2018 5:59 am ET
by cyborg
Catalyzing the fusion of deuterium
With muons but then surviving the Flood of radiation and stuff
The real tricky part unless the goal
Is to be a walking neutron and gamma Ray emitter which could be a cool party Trick if you really really want everyone At the party to die a horrible death
Haiku # 58471, April 20, 2018 5:53 am ET
by cyborg of I don't want everyone at the party to die a horrible death
Does dueteration
of fullerenes have useful

For example is
affected or increased.

Or perhaps it's the
critical temperature
that's affected.

But deuterium
would increase the entropy.
So it is doubtful.

Oh, by the way, sir,
I just made a horrific
thundering flatus.

Buckminster Fuller
probably never did that.
He was no chemist!

Geodesic domes
cannot contain my flatus!
They are too caustic.
Haiku # 58470, April 20, 2018 4:48 am ET
by df
There's nothing quite like
getting drunk at a cock fight
in South East Asia.

Win lots of money.
Then buy a cheap prostitute.
Get an STD.

Give it to your wife.
So you'll soon get a divorce.
And lose your children.

And pay child support.
For the next fifteen plus years.
Goddamn that rooster!

This story's moral:
Never put blame on yourself.
Blame then animal.

And when you next eat
at Chick Fil-A, be happy
that chickens suffer.
Haiku # 58469, April 20, 2018 4:32 am ET
by df
If you've never seen
penile implants exploding
count yourself lucky.
Haiku # 58468, April 20, 2018 4:22 am ET
by df
Gastric upheaval
Explosive diarrhea
Nauseating stench
Haiku # 58467, April 19, 2018 7:29 pm ET
by Jay of Maryland
Titles like
"Synthesis of Perdeuterofullerane: C60D36 Evidences of Isotope Effect in the Stability of C60 D36"
Are basically porn to me
Turns me on
Haiku # 58466, April 19, 2018 7:14 pm ET
by cyborg
I wonder what Floppyboots Boy
Is up to these days and if he is finally
The sidekick of Lobster Man?
Haiku # 58465, April 19, 2018 2:11 pm ET
by dvd
Also some people do well with soy
Others do not
Either way hemp protein is superior
Trump certainly has a multitude
Of multifaceted flaws
But at least he seems to be allowing
States to make up their own minds
Regarding the controversial herb
Haiku # 58464, April 19, 2018 12:45 pm ET
by dvd of poor jeffy sessions must be throwing a temper tantrum
Everyone's brainwashed
Programmed by someone
The distinction is only
Who is actually reading
The user agreement
And whose brand you're buying
Haiku # 58463, April 19, 2018 12:43 pm ET
by cyborg
Woe to the soyboys
With testosterone levels
Of 90 year olds

But however I
Support their decision to
Not compete gene-wise
Haiku # 58462, April 19, 2018 12:41 pm ET
by Grateful Dickhead
if cats ruled the world
i think we would be too busy
going aww, to fight
Haiku # 58461, April 19, 2018 10:36 am ET
by vhs
so here we have say
mark dice, kind of an asshole
speaking truth he says

to a bunch of tofu brained
oversensitive grown children
who hate to hear

no! remind you
of anyone on a bad day
on this server?
Haiku # 58460, April 19, 2018 10:29 am ET
by vhs
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