In three thousand years philosophy still hasn't got beyond the "if it's in the mind, then it must be real" phase.
South Park did a mini-series on that called Imaginationland.
I'll save you the suspense. Kyle sucks Cartman's balls. In Imaginationland.
So that means I've fucked more hot babes than Hugh Hefner. And I just shagged my cute little secretary all night long while my fat wife was tied up and forced to watch.
But now Hef's magazine is including transgender "women" and I only wish my car was a Transformer so I could destroy a few military installations and wipe out all large population centers and save the earth. Because it's mine anyway.
All I want for Christmas is these fucking parasites off my planet. Is that too much to ask, Jesus Claus? Is it?!
Happy Kwanzaa!.... or something.

Vaping is gay. That much is real.

one will read what one
reads, free will is the way of
all in the world now

I had a dream I was talking to a dog
His English wasn't very good
I was just impressed he understood

How much should one read?
Almost seems like a lost art.
Most prefer pictures.

I have a big poop
His name is Shittin
I'll never trust him as a sandwich

I have a big snake
His name is Satan
I'll never trust him as a necklace

If there are only physical phenomena
There is no mind, in which case
This isn't happening

potus sounds
like a marvel villian name likr
modoc or...zorgo

baron mordo, doctor doom

Jesus died?!

Circular logic is circular
Jesus didn't die for sin
Circular logic is circular

If not for Jesus,
there would never be a Grinch,
to steal Christmas!

If you never sin,
then Jesus was crucified
for nothing but gifts.

And I guess for kicks.

we wouls miss out though
on mister grinch who i think
should be year around...

if we went back too far

Christmases of yore.
1950s thereabouts.
Set the time machine.

Circling the drain.
Bacon blue cheese hamburgers
and eggnog milk shakes.

I keep trying to get a plane ticket
To the nation of Robonia
But they tell me it isn't real

given youve worked with
me irl are you sure i might not
be a sweet transvestite from
planet Transylvania? no
we also worked with real Trans
sylvanians

murphys law sez we
gonna make it hard for youse
to touch base like, timely

I've met alot of people like that
The (mostly) dead guy I found in a
Gas station restroom - overdose
The clerk seemed annoyed at me when I brought it to their attention that there
Was an unresponsive man in there
The Colombian man who believed a shape shifting transsexual Mexican assassin was trying to murder him
He wanted me to buy him an assault rifle... Uncomfortable
Then there is the man that flew illegal bombing missions during the Vietnam conflict, I think it was in Cambodia, to clear highways for China (domino theory lol) he also thought it would be wise to "kill all Muslims" you know as a Precaution... He told me that
War is good for the country
I don't disagree with the statement
I disagree with the assessment of
The meaning of the word "good"
And "country" because I think by
"Good" he meant profitable
And by "country" he meant extrememly Wealthy white people

common thing that is
those make up the events that
haunt us folks in life

love em though enjoy
weird stuff....

I remember when I was a child
Someone knocked on the door
I answered it and there was
An unremarkable man standing There who asked me where my
Father was - He wasn't home
After the man left my mom
Came downstairs and was Extremely upset that I had Opened the door for
A stranger, I asked her how to
Tell the difference between
A bad man and a good man
I figured they must wear
Different color clothes
*Kid Logic*
We got a security system after That and I never found out who The man was or why he wanted
To talk to my dad - it's funny how A small event like that
Sticks with me 20 years later
I think it must be the lack of Resolution
That makes someone otherwise
Unremarkable
Something that I still
Remember

doncha know homey
pop goes the weasel cuz the
weasel goes pop... right...

Pop goes the Weasel
Will be the last song ever
Heard by human ears

creative output
rendered for your consumption
the best I can do

What song will the last
human listen to as he
or she lays dying.

Pachyderms cannot
be blamed for holding grudges;
they're nearly extinct.

People bitch about GMOs
The solution is a drought and
10,000 chain smoking crows

During the time of the black death
Skeletal men in black robes were seen
This is where the image of the Grim
Reaper comes from - but they did not
Have sickles, they waved staffs as
They went through rye fields, spreading
A black fog throughout... An explosion
Of ergotism and famine was the result

how do you turn a
web comic female person
into literature???

existential deaths
died when irony fell in
9/11, we thought

ironically

loaded with grudges
the elephant in the room
can never forgive

my best intentions
can never be good enough
misinterpreted

my failed compliments
are the red rags to the bull
who sees monochrome

hmm german delis
would never be the same once
lsd reubens

hit the market

LSD comes from
rye wheat fungus but I can't
trip on a Reuben.

Weaponized airborne
ergot infections would make
earth a better place.

Mustard gas passe.
Passed the gassy Grey Poupon.
Dijon and Kraut farts.

Psychadelic lunch
corned beef, swiss, kraut, on rye
with yellow cap shrooms.

Animals are nice
Sometimes they might have some lice
You can still eat them

Aww, vhs remember
Things could also be worse
At least you're not DF

not much in the mood
today, all the things I'm chasing
are just mirages...

Some farmers down south
Pay good money to hunters
Who kill wild hogs

Six million wild hogs
Destroying America
Eat lots of bacon

Shit just got real here
Anonymous cowards suck
Even I know that

depends on what you
smoke, with what and how often
you blow the smoke out

yum yum yum you know
how much salt is in old spam
i wont eat the stuff

Hooray spam is back
Like rotten maggots feasting
On internet rot

well censorship of
baby boomers who do not
value human life

great stuff ;)

The butane hash oil I am so fond of
Is, by mass, the same price
As electronics grade gold... I'm poor
But withdrawal from nicotine and
Caffeine make cannabis withdrawal
Laughably easy
My endocannabinoid system will
Fully recover and so will my wallet

But if you love it,
if you love your addiction,
is it all that bad?

Science, music, athletics, cannibalism...
all great stuff!

addiction is a
downer, food, internet, games
even vanilla things

the ordinary drag of life

ill try to get some
folks posting if i can but
christmas is coming

Cannabis - panic attacks every time
The weird thing is that truly
I enjoy that so fucking much

vhs got a galaxy tablet
this is not fake news
preparing for apocalypse