Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

I'll try to make sure
to ask housekeeping to use
bleach if you ever

take a room where i
once worked, a LOT of bleach
in fact, don't scare the

dogs thank you
Haiku # 57036, July 21, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by vhs
"get the feeling one
talks to one's self and leaves the
evidence behind"...

Sort of like masturbation w/o cleanup.
I do that in hotels.
That stucco on the ceiling...
well, you get the idea.

Nothing we do matters.
Give sandwiches to the homeless.
Go on a mass murder spree.
It will soon be forgotten.
Although... I do make a pretty good fucking sandwich if I say so myself. Arthur Dent worthy, I would say.

I might go pick up some beef... maybe caribou.
Sandwiches are in order. Live for the moment.
That's all we can do. Oh how fucking profound I am!...

Sammich time!
Haiku # 57035, July 21, 2017 9:05 pm ET
by df
for some reason books
or pringles, you can't just eat
one but a whole bunch

of course you don't EAT
books but one, then another
soon you got say, four
Haiku # 57034, July 21, 2017 6:21 pm ET
by vhs of i like books
the mind is willing
the body is sore, to get
up and go just left
Haiku # 57033, July 21, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
get the feeling one
talks to one's self and leaves the
evidence behind
Haiku # 57032, July 21, 2017 11:51 am ET
by vhs
i wanted a bookcase
that looked like a bunch of milk
crates put together

but sturdier and
standing up, sorta red in
a pattern, oh shit

I'm getting ideas here
Haiku # 57031, July 20, 2017 9:13 pm ET
by vhs
also

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluxus

not that wikipedia isn't an experiment on a chaotic design itself
Haiku # 57030, July 20, 2017 9:11 pm ET
by vhs
to understand how
my mind works, Discordianism
plays a slight role in

that, although Jesus
has a tight reign on how much
"Chaos" I express
Haiku # 57029, July 20, 2017 9:08 pm ET
by vhs
sometimes we long for
Tanelorn or The New Jerusalem
but all we get

is Camden, NJ
Haiku # 57028, July 20, 2017 8:55 pm ET
by vhs
entertain me brain
admire it like a pirate
Now bark like a dog!
Haiku # 57027, July 20, 2017 1:36 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Secret Hideoutistan
Sunlight streams through the window
I rush to the bathroom to throw up
No blood this time
It's gonna be a lovely day
Haiku # 57026, July 20, 2017 1:05 am ET
by Jim of SF
I think if nothing else
Cannabis is proof of intelligent design
Also, she wasn't an adulteress
She was *accused* of it
Pretty shitty trial if you ask me
Good thing the judge showed up
Been meaning to check out
The Screaming Cheetah Wheelies
Was busy all week
Haiku # 57025, July 19, 2017 10:26 pm ET
by dvd
it's not shocking at
all anymore, but we have
come to see trolls take

over the public space
threating property, lives
intimidation

hypocrisy casting the first stone and no fucking clue about that story about the woman who committed adultery Jesus saved from the angry mob
Haiku # 57024, July 19, 2017 8:15 pm ET
by vhs
like i said some things
never change, till the time comes
when words fail me
Haiku # 57023, July 19, 2017 8:12 pm ET
by vhs
StarWars themed gay wedding as
Darth Gaydar and Storm Pooper. Married byvJan-ass The Hutt.....Nippress, Ash.....gay lovers in pair of dykes... w00t!
Haiku # 57022, July 19, 2017 2:36 pm ET
by iamback
Nippress Ash gay. Doing gay stuff
To each other. Lovers quarrel, lovers squirrel. Secret squirrel. Secret Santa, secret Satan....
Haiku # 57021, July 19, 2017 2:34 pm ET
by iamback
familiar things change
seeing "for sale" by an old
hangout, strange changes
Haiku # 57020, July 18, 2017 2:33 pm ET
by vhs
spambots took over
bboard after bboard, like
internet pod people
Haiku # 57019, July 18, 2017 2:04 pm ET
by vhs
I am genuinely glad to read this web site posts which includes lots of useful information, thanks for providing these kinds of data.
Haiku # 57018, July 18, 2017 2:39 am ET
by Shilpa Malhotra of http://www.shilpamalhotra.com/
i just watched some end
time Bible prophecy thing on
youtube. I should

have known it is close
to the end when the Red Sox
won their first world series
Haiku # 57017, July 17, 2017 8:24 pm ET
by vhs
Ancient feeling day
Being dead is a turn off
Smoke tar thyme roses
Haiku # 57016, July 17, 2017 1:57 pm ET
by dvd
Who never jacked off
to Mary Ann and Ginger
after long school days?

Dawn Wells was fucking hot.
Haiku # 57015, July 17, 2017 7:48 am ET
by df
Echoes in reverse
Reverberations between
I suppose the point
Haiku # 57014, July 17, 2017 12:03 am ET
by !&? of
If you have a pregnant hamster
Give it a protein source before
It gives birth
Or it will eat its babies
Haiku # 57013, July 16, 2017 11:13 pm ET
by not sure what im trying to get at here
Guitar strings needed
I still can't read sheet music
Beethoven was deaf
Haiku # 57012, July 16, 2017 10:46 pm ET
by Olea europaea
vhs as gilligan
df as the japanese soldier
in that one episode
plenty of wild hogs to eat
show would've been better i think
Haiku # 57011, July 16, 2017 10:01 pm ET
by Whitey Everyday
When I remember
Things I haven't even done
Imagination?
Haiku # 57010, July 16, 2017 9:38 pm ET
by adam ben adam
Born in Babel
A mountain turns into plain
Like father like son
Haiku # 57009, July 16, 2017 9:37 pm ET
by alfamike
A depiction of mountains
In their reconstitution
Air and earth touching
Haiku # 57008, July 16, 2017 9:33 pm ET
by dvd
i am not sure how
many gay jokes skipper and
"little buddy" might

get but Gilligan
did move on to play Maynard
J Krebs the beatnik
Haiku # 57007, July 16, 2017 6:38 pm ET
by vhs
How about the theme song from Giligan's Island?
Lord.... why?!
Haiku # 57006, July 16, 2017 4:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oohhhhhh.....
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Toot ta lee toot ta toot ta toot.
Haiku # 57005, July 16, 2017 4:32 pm ET
by Why not?
Rupture during rapture.
I had burritos last night.
Sorry about that.

Who am I kidding?
I am going straight to hell.
Hope the wife's not there.
Haiku # 57004, July 16, 2017 4:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Much Inappropriateness
Rupture!
Haiku # 57003, July 16, 2017 9:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other SLIDE.
Haiku # 57002, July 15, 2017 8:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
let it go
let it go
let it go - calmness
Haiku # 57001, July 15, 2017 7:46 pm ET
by mundane
the french protective device for a man's parts in sports might be known as a Jaques Strape
Haiku # 57000, July 15, 2017 7:08 pm ET
by vhs
Some days I just want to defenestrate everyone I see.
Haiku # 56999, July 15, 2017 8:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
... DeCALFinated.
Haiku # 56998, July 15, 2017 8:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Insanity pants
Who would like to dance perchance?
I live next to you
Haiku # 56997, July 15, 2017 4:44 am ET
by Concerned American of Holiday inn off I 70
ashamed of the rain
wasn't like here this last year
Winter Will decide
Haiku # 56996, July 15, 2017 4:39 am ET
by Alaskan Observatory of Hollywood Shitstorm
i feel the blues on
something trivial but those
closest hurt the most
Haiku # 56995, July 14, 2017 5:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
lido missed the boat
and Boz Scaggs did a song on
him, as he shuffled
Haiku # 56994, July 14, 2017 2:37 pm ET
by vhs of he left the shack, but that's ain't all he missed and he ain't comin back
the thing about geese
is when they stir they just might
honk you off their

property hissing
hiss hiss hiss all the way home
kinda silly such birds
Haiku # 56993, July 14, 2017 2:22 pm ET
by vhs
the doctor said you
must realize this condition
will be for your life

the patient said well
I'll spend a lifetime doing
some research on it

then
Haiku # 56992, July 14, 2017 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
amazing what a
few words can do arranged in
a sort of way to

make a "poem", as
some spots might see this as good
old nuts grafitti

but Basquiat made
a legacy out of his
stuff in his short life
Haiku # 56991, July 14, 2017 2:19 pm ET
by vhs
Starkle, starkle, little twink.
What the hell are you, I think.
Up above the world so big
like a dirty little pig.
--Old Black Joe
Haiku # 56990, July 14, 2017 10:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not a wind stirred.
Not a goose stirred.
Haiku # 56989, July 14, 2017 10:22 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Johnny drew a monster.
The monster chased him.
Just in time, Johnny erased him.
--unknown
Haiku # 56988, July 14, 2017 10:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
King rules without grief
Summer heat destined to pass
Cleansing in my mind
Haiku # 56987, July 13, 2017 11:15 pm ET
by alfamike
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