Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Born in Babel
A mountain turns into plain
Like father like son
Haiku # 57009, July 16, 2017 9:37 pm ET
by alfamike
A depiction of mountains
In their reconstitution
Air and earth touching
Haiku # 57008, July 16, 2017 9:33 pm ET
by dvd
i am not sure how
many gay jokes skipper and
"little buddy" might

get but Gilligan
did move on to play Maynard
J Krebs the beatnik
Haiku # 57007, July 16, 2017 6:38 pm ET
by vhs
How about the theme song from Giligan's Island?
Lord.... why?!
Haiku # 57006, July 16, 2017 4:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Toot ta lee toot ta toot ta toot.
Haiku # 57005, July 16, 2017 4:32 pm ET
by Why not?
Rupture during rapture.
I had burritos last night.
Sorry about that.

Who am I kidding?
I am going straight to hell.
Hope the wife's not there.
Haiku # 57004, July 16, 2017 4:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Much Inappropriateness
Haiku # 57003, July 16, 2017 9:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other SLIDE.
Haiku # 57002, July 15, 2017 8:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
let it go
let it go
let it go - calmness
Haiku # 57001, July 15, 2017 7:46 pm ET
by mundane
the french protective device for a man's parts in sports might be known as a Jaques Strape
Haiku # 57000, July 15, 2017 7:08 pm ET
by vhs
Some days I just want to defenestrate everyone I see.
Haiku # 56999, July 15, 2017 8:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
... DeCALFinated.
Haiku # 56998, July 15, 2017 8:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Insanity pants
Who would like to dance perchance?
I live next to you
Haiku # 56997, July 15, 2017 4:44 am ET
by Concerned American of Holiday inn off I 70
ashamed of the rain
wasn't like here this last year
Winter Will decide
Haiku # 56996, July 15, 2017 4:39 am ET
by Alaskan Observatory of Hollywood Shitstorm
i feel the blues on
something trivial but those
closest hurt the most
Haiku # 56995, July 14, 2017 5:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
lido missed the boat
and Boz Scaggs did a song on
him, as he shuffled
Haiku # 56994, July 14, 2017 2:37 pm ET
by vhs of he left the shack, but that's ain't all he missed and he ain't comin back
the thing about geese
is when they stir they just might
honk you off their

property hissing
hiss hiss hiss all the way home
kinda silly such birds
Haiku # 56993, July 14, 2017 2:22 pm ET
by vhs
the doctor said you
must realize this condition
will be for your life

the patient said well
I'll spend a lifetime doing
some research on it

Haiku # 56992, July 14, 2017 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
amazing what a
few words can do arranged in
a sort of way to

make a "poem", as
some spots might see this as good
old nuts grafitti

but Basquiat made
a legacy out of his
stuff in his short life
Haiku # 56991, July 14, 2017 2:19 pm ET
by vhs
Starkle, starkle, little twink.
What the hell are you, I think.
Up above the world so big
like a dirty little pig.
--Old Black Joe
Haiku # 56990, July 14, 2017 10:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not a wind stirred.
Not a goose stirred.
Haiku # 56989, July 14, 2017 10:22 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Johnny drew a monster.
The monster chased him.
Just in time, Johnny erased him.
Haiku # 56988, July 14, 2017 10:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
King rules without grief
Summer heat destined to pass
Cleansing in my mind
Haiku # 56987, July 13, 2017 11:15 pm ET
by alfamike
A little kingdom I possess
Where thoughts and feelings dwell
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well

- L.M. Alcott
Haiku # 56986, July 13, 2017 11:13 pm ET
by dvd
Card game with myself
I cheats, myself gets so mad
No one wins the game
Haiku # 56985, July 13, 2017 9:23 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
There is no beat.
Haiku # 56984, July 13, 2017 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
and the Beat goes on
Haiku # 56983, July 13, 2017 7:41 pm ET
by vhs
I pissed off people.
But I never pissed on them.
For this, I am proud.
Haiku # 56982, July 13, 2017 3:13 am ET
by df
Why are you looking
here for? The joke's in your hand.
Urinal humor.

One of my favorite bully tricks in high school was to go up behind the kid at the urinal and grab them from behind and make them piss all over the place. I kind of feel bad for the janitor though. Fun times.

I saw another one where some other kid stood outside the crapper stall and pissed onto the shoes of the kids inside. I never did that... a little too demented. Proud to say that as much of an asshole as I was, I never pissed on anyone.
Haiku # 56981, July 13, 2017 3:11 am ET
by df
this is not a joke
my invitation was lost in
the mail but I'm here
Haiku # 56980, July 12, 2017 7:20 am ET
by NYM
so i think the joke
goes the more i blurt this place
out the more it will

be ignored but the
more i am like "don't go there!"
wedding crasher types
Haiku # 56979, July 11, 2017 5:10 pm ET
by vhs
good one df...

dadaist art haiku

blah blah blah blah blah
extrovert vs introvert
think think think think think

blah blah blah blah think
extrovert meets introvert
think think think think BLAH

brought to you by Susan Cain
the smartest introvert ever
Haiku # 56978, July 11, 2017 4:11 pm ET
by vhs
What do you call two titties that look the same?
Haiku # 56977, July 10, 2017 9:13 pm ET
by df
every belief has
it's sacred function as fact
remember the Sabbath
Haiku # 56976, July 10, 2017 8:39 pm ET
by vhs
i was asked what this
place was about, poetry
exchange of ideas?

somewhat, maybe the
random fart or poop joke here
and there but here goes...
Haiku # 56975, July 10, 2017 8:05 pm ET
by vhs
little cross hanging
silver chains controlling
devotional pray
Haiku # 56974, July 10, 2017 8:14 am ET
by NYM
summer heat refresh
sweet sensation cool delight
strawberry ice cream
Haiku # 56973, July 9, 2017 9:04 am ET
by NYM
days long and dark still
moon rises new light revealed
time passes clock froze
Haiku # 56972, July 9, 2017 3:49 am ET
by NYM
You made some really good points there. I checked on the internet for additional information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site. fgbcckbggkdd
Haiku # 56971, July 9, 2017 1:05 am ET
by iwitwuoe of USA
well you know david
icke is convinced reptiles run
the world in the form

of world leaders but
i know better who runs the
world...they're known as cats
Haiku # 56970, July 8, 2017 7:48 pm ET
by vhs of purr, you are our willing prisoner/slave
weird i was thinking
the same thing but, keanu
would just have said..."Woah.."
Haiku # 56969, July 8, 2017 7:40 pm ET
by vhs
Imagine if Johny Mnemonic
Had the quality of production
That The Matrix had
And vice versa
Haiku # 56968, July 8, 2017 3:46 pm ET
by dvd
My name is Gump and I'm here to hump!
Haiku # 56967, July 7, 2017 8:23 pm ET
by Forrest Does Dallas
I knew a Rainbow girl. Fat and ugly.
She believed that humans were once aliens and transplanted themselves here after destroying their home planet.
Questioning this, I asked where the motherships had gone to. And I had to laugh, I just had to.
Being this was a deeply held belief, I never saw her again. Better that way, really!
And she loved her reefer. Morning noon and night.
Haiku # 56966, July 7, 2017 8:21 pm ET
by df of petrobras toilettes -- likely the most interesting captcha yet.
"i don't know if it was all the dr. peppers i drank or we was in a computer program and i could do whatever i wanted...

i was"

Forrest Gump as the hero of the Matrix courtesy of HISHE
Haiku # 56965, July 7, 2017 7:02 pm ET
by vhs of life is like a box of re-runs
i knew a girl from
those rainbow gathering
circles, i don''t know

what she's smoking now
but she did have dreadlocks and
she was white so yo...

Haiku # 56964, July 7, 2017 6:58 pm ET
by vhs
Sweat lodge is a good idea
I love to sauna
Been too long
Haiku # 56963, July 7, 2017 3:07 pm ET
by dvd
I don't trip
I fly
I don't do drugs
I am drugs
Haiku # 56962, July 7, 2017 3:02 pm ET
by dvd
I think they should have a new e-currency for use on porn sites:
You heard it hear first.
Haiku # 56961, July 7, 2017 7:22 am ET
by df
Jesus, dvd, sounds like a Rainbow Gathering.
If such the case may be, enjoy the acid.
Wear a condom.
Know where your water comes from.
Expect lice & crabs. Bedbugs are worse.
If they have a sweat lodge, you must go.
Get naked. Own the world.
Be small.
Haiku # 56960, July 7, 2017 7:20 am ET
by df
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