Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 21 Days and 77400 Haiku later...

Starkle, starkle, little twink.
What the hell are you, I think.
Up above the world so big
like a dirty little pig.
--Old Black Joe
Haiku # 56990, July 14, 2017 10:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Not a wind stirred.
Not a goose stirred.
Haiku # 56989, July 14, 2017 10:22 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Johnny drew a monster.
The monster chased him.
Just in time, Johnny erased him.
--unknown
Haiku # 56988, July 14, 2017 10:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
King rules without grief
Summer heat destined to pass
Cleansing in my mind
Haiku # 56987, July 13, 2017 11:15 pm ET
by alfamike
A little kingdom I possess
Where thoughts and feelings dwell
And very hard the task I find
Of governing it well

- L.M. Alcott
Haiku # 56986, July 13, 2017 11:13 pm ET
by dvd
Card game with myself
I cheats, myself gets so mad
No one wins the game
Haiku # 56985, July 13, 2017 9:23 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
There is no beat.
Haiku # 56984, July 13, 2017 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
and the Beat goes on
Haiku # 56983, July 13, 2017 7:41 pm ET
by vhs
I pissed off people.
But I never pissed on them.
For this, I am proud.
Haiku # 56982, July 13, 2017 3:13 am ET
by df
Why are you looking
here for? The joke's in your hand.
Urinal humor.

One of my favorite bully tricks in high school was to go up behind the kid at the urinal and grab them from behind and make them piss all over the place. I kind of feel bad for the janitor though. Fun times.

I saw another one where some other kid stood outside the crapper stall and pissed onto the shoes of the kids inside. I never did that... a little too demented. Proud to say that as much of an asshole as I was, I never pissed on anyone.
Haiku # 56981, July 13, 2017 3:11 am ET
by df
this is not a joke
my invitation was lost in
the mail but I'm here
Haiku # 56980, July 12, 2017 7:20 am ET
by NYM
so i think the joke
goes the more i blurt this place
out the more it will

be ignored but the
more i am like "don't go there!"
wedding crasher types
Haiku # 56979, July 11, 2017 5:10 pm ET
by vhs
good one df...

dadaist art haiku

blah blah blah blah blah
extrovert vs introvert
think think think think think

blah blah blah blah think
extrovert meets introvert
think think think think BLAH

brought to you by Susan Cain
the smartest introvert ever
Haiku # 56978, July 11, 2017 4:11 pm ET
by vhs
What do you call two titties that look the same?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Iden-titties!
Haiku # 56977, July 10, 2017 9:13 pm ET
by df
every belief has
it's sacred function as fact
remember the Sabbath
Haiku # 56976, July 10, 2017 8:39 pm ET
by vhs
i was asked what this
place was about, poetry
exchange of ideas?

somewhat, maybe the
random fart or poop joke here
and there but here goes...
Haiku # 56975, July 10, 2017 8:05 pm ET
by vhs
little cross hanging
silver chains controlling
devotional pray
Haiku # 56974, July 10, 2017 8:14 am ET
by NYM
summer heat refresh
sweet sensation cool delight
strawberry ice cream
Haiku # 56973, July 9, 2017 9:04 am ET
by NYM
days long and dark still
moon rises new light revealed
time passes clock froze
Haiku # 56972, July 9, 2017 3:49 am ET
by NYM
You made some really good points there. I checked on the internet for additional information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site. fgbcckbggkdd
Haiku # 56971, July 9, 2017 1:05 am ET
by iwitwuoe of USA
well you know david
icke is convinced reptiles run
the world in the form

of world leaders but
i know better who runs the
world...they're known as cats
Haiku # 56970, July 8, 2017 7:48 pm ET
by vhs of purr, you are our willing prisoner/slave
weird i was thinking
the same thing but, keanu
would just have said..."Woah.."
Haiku # 56969, July 8, 2017 7:40 pm ET
by vhs
Imagine if Johny Mnemonic
Had the quality of production
That The Matrix had
And vice versa
Haiku # 56968, July 8, 2017 3:46 pm ET
by dvd
My name is Gump and I'm here to hump!
Haiku # 56967, July 7, 2017 8:23 pm ET
by Forrest Does Dallas
I knew a Rainbow girl. Fat and ugly.
She believed that humans were once aliens and transplanted themselves here after destroying their home planet.
Questioning this, I asked where the motherships had gone to. And I had to laugh, I just had to.
Being this was a deeply held belief, I never saw her again. Better that way, really!
And she loved her reefer. Morning noon and night.
Haiku # 56966, July 7, 2017 8:21 pm ET
by df of petrobras toilettes -- likely the most interesting captcha yet.
"i don't know if it was all the dr. peppers i drank or we was in a computer program and i could do whatever i wanted...

i was fly........ing..."

Forrest Gump as the hero of the Matrix courtesy of HISHE
Haiku # 56965, July 7, 2017 7:02 pm ET
by vhs of life is like a box of re-runs
i knew a girl from
those rainbow gathering
circles, i don''t know

what she's smoking now
but she did have dreadlocks and
she was white so yo...

patchouli
Haiku # 56964, July 7, 2017 6:58 pm ET
by vhs
Sweat lodge is a good idea
I love to sauna
Been too long
Haiku # 56963, July 7, 2017 3:07 pm ET
by dvd
I don't trip
I fly
I don't do drugs
I am drugs
Haiku # 56962, July 7, 2017 3:02 pm ET
by dvd
I think they should have a new e-currency for use on porn sites:
Titcoin.
You heard it hear first.
Haiku # 56961, July 7, 2017 7:22 am ET
by df
Jesus, dvd, sounds like a Rainbow Gathering.
If such the case may be, enjoy the acid.
Wear a condom.
Know where your water comes from.
Expect lice & crabs. Bedbugs are worse.
If they have a sweat lodge, you must go.
Get naked. Own the world.
Be small.
Haiku # 56960, July 7, 2017 7:20 am ET
by df
Heidegger and Sartre, drinking poppy tea
I could've sworn last night I passed out in my van and now these guys are pouring one for me
I'll never leave the canyon cause I'm surrounded on all sides
By people writing novels and living on amusement rides

"I'm Writing a Novel"

Father John Misty
Haiku # 56959, July 6, 2017 11:18 pm ET
by dvd
why the hell can't I
post my name when i get all
wound up about the yuge

latest insight I
like to share on here i just
don't know about that
Haiku # 56958, July 6, 2017 4:01 pm ET
by vhs
there's an internet
film with a woman in Hell
in a dining room

face white, speaking back
and her head in the bowl and
camera zooms back

in "There is nuh.......thing"
Eyes close. why do so many
"atheists" do hell

so well in the arts
Sartre did a good one too
titled "No Exit"
Haiku # 56957, July 6, 2017 3:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
hmm sounds like a scene
in the movie Clerks but old
Kevin Smith...namedrop!!!
Haiku # 56956, July 6, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
Bitcoins are brilliant
Encryption seems spooky to some
Because it means privacy
Bathroom doors accomplish that
No one complains
Even though sketchy things happen
Thought I found a dead guy once
He overdosed on something
Haiku # 56955, July 6, 2017 12:44 pm ET
by dvd
Gharlane of Eddore
can refer to this bad guy
from the Lensman books

or a usenet guy
who died in 2001 from a heart
attack and he was missed
Haiku # 56954, July 6, 2017 12:43 pm ET
by vhs
the day's a wastin'
i chat with the creatures dived
down into their realm

what am i missing?
Haiku # 56953, July 6, 2017 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
I always pictured
actually HOLDING a bit coin
defeats the purpose

i suspect
Haiku # 56952, July 6, 2017 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
I'm chatting away
about the day, my pains are
just annoyances

despite the bad life
is good right now, because the
sun is up just RIGHT
Haiku # 56951, July 6, 2017 11:54 am ET
by vhs
sometimes when i see
the news i feel helpless when
i know somethings go

on in the world that
destroy lives, even if
this bad stuff exists

in the world doesn't
make it seem any less wrong
and any less lost
Haiku # 56950, July 6, 2017 11:50 am ET
by vhs
The only good thing about bears
They're shitty at sneaking up on you
They leave huge piles of shit behind
If you happen upon one that's a bit
Skinny and drooling alot
That means it's really happy to see you
Haiku # 56949, July 6, 2017 11:44 am ET
by dvd of Not Russia
that livejournal link
looks like it talks about say
steroids? not going

to go there i think
Haiku # 56948, July 6, 2017 11:14 am ET
by vhs
http://jimmycharles822.livejournal.com/
Haiku # 56947, July 6, 2017 4:35 am ET
by elliott morrison of Houston
Piloting machine
Made of flesh and bone so on
Zero chance failure

Still chances to fail
Bored of temptation myself
Metamorphosis
Haiku # 56946, July 5, 2017 11:30 pm ET
by dvd
In the native plains
A lamp among moths glowing
Misunderstanding

Interrupting not
Am I answering being
Me just being myself
Haiku # 56945, July 5, 2017 11:26 pm ET
by alfamike
maybe we should put
sriracha in the potato
salad...I'm not sure

if hot sauce is a
universally percieved
advantage in the

political arena
Haiku # 56944, July 5, 2017 8:36 pm ET
by vhs
i get it people
like fart jokes but since the date
for 4th of july

fart and fireworks
combo joke ideas is past
potato salad?

dvd...you iknow me, i eat a lot of sriracha
Haiku # 56943, July 5, 2017 8:32 pm ET
by vhs
What if you fed pigs
Nothing but bacon whole life
Would it be better?

I wonder if you'd
Need to even season it
It's bacon bacon
Haiku # 56942, July 4, 2017 9:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Pork
Knew guy that knew guy
Pooped in bag let sit awhile
Then inhaled the gas

To get high I guess
What do you even call that
No way to make cool
Haiku # 56941, July 4, 2017 9:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poop
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