Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
I have a concern.
Could Skittles make me be gay?
With their gay colors?
Haiku # 55326 November 5, 2016 6:18 pm ET
by df
I'm tired of blue.
I would like rainbow colors.
So I'll try Skittles.
Haiku # 55325 November 5, 2016 6:16 pm ET
by df
Perhaps it could be
interspecies relations
with sea animals.
Haiku # 55324 November 5, 2016 6:13 pm ET
by df
I wonder if it's
'cause I eat a half gallon
of berries each day.
Haiku # 55323 November 5, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by df
Removing blue stains?
I now buy blue underwear.
Smurfette does the same.
Haiku # 55322 November 5, 2016 6:10 pm ET
by df
Testicular zits.
Apparently abnormal.
The pus is bright blue.
Haiku # 55321 November 5, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by df
I'm trying to keep
up but i can only sign on
when I'm not at work

etc etc etc etc, and
when FarmVille is the art the
vanilla wins too

much credence, not that there's
"anything wrong with that" but
chaos vs. order
Haiku # 55320 November 5, 2016 12:19 pm ET
by vhs
It was tan and fibrous from eating lots of veggies like a good little boy and came out rather easily. It had a slight skunk-funk to it from eating pomelo fruit (like a grapefruit, but sweeter).
The skunk smell reminded me of making marijuana cookies. I'll have to do that again some day.
Your welcome.
Haiku # 55310 November 4, 2016 8:14 pm ET
by df
I think I'll poop now.
I'll give you the details.
Be back in flush...
Haiku # 55309 November 4, 2016 8:03 pm ET
by df
Kim Kardashian
would make a good president
for next election.
Haiku # 55308 November 4, 2016 8:00 pm ET
by df
I don't regret it.
Will this condemn me to hell?
Christ, I sure hope so.
Haiku # 55307 November 4, 2016 7:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I once threw mud balls
at passing cars when I skipped
kindergarten class.
Haiku # 55306 November 4, 2016 7:53 pm ET
by df
Neither Donald Trump
nor Secretary Clinton
are worth a cat turd.
Haiku # 55305 November 4, 2016 7:50 pm ET
by df
The drug war of Rody Duterte is rather interesting. While in America we might condemn such actions and cruel and inhumane, if you knew the extent of the drug problem over there and its severity, you might come to understand that they really have no choice but to eliminate drugs by whatever means possible.
It isn't pretty, but it's by far the lesser of two evils. It's easy and necessary for liberal politicians in the US to look down on "gestapo" methods to eliminate amphetamine addiction, but it's gotten to the point where there is no other way. Time will show that his methods are quite successful and sometimes civil rights must take a back seat to eliminate poverty and crime.
The fact that he's now "in bed" with the commies is partly the fault of the US attitude towards his methods. The US should mind its own damn business.
Haiku # 55304 November 4, 2016 7:49 pm ET
by df
Pressurized testes.
My penis is not happy.
Please let your wife know.
Haiku # 55303 November 4, 2016 7:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Remember in high school, that one teacher with the really big tits?
And when it got cold her nips would stand up.
That was awesome!
Haiku # 55302 November 4, 2016 7:39 pm ET
by df
Have you ever wanted to take a large catapult and launch puppies from it into shark infested waters?
Haiku # 55301 November 4, 2016 7:36 pm ET
by df
That explains a lot.
The way the universe is.
I don't own a gun.
Haiku # 55300 November 4, 2016 7:35 pm ET
by df
It is disturbing.
Each time you kill a kitten,
God will masturbate.
Haiku # 55299 November 4, 2016 7:32 pm ET
by df
I've made up my mind.
I need a dirty young whore.
Like Pink Floyd's Young Lust.
Haiku # 55298 November 4, 2016 7:30 pm ET
by df
Where's the best pizza?
Sao Paulo, Brazil, of course.
It is worth the trip.
Haiku # 55297 November 4, 2016 7:29 pm ET
by df
Italiano Pie.
American Pie spin off.
He fucked a pizza.
Haiku # 55296 November 4, 2016 7:28 pm ET
by df
Fat girl porn is strange.
She went by "Pizza The Slut".
Star Wars porno spoof.
Haiku # 55295 November 4, 2016 7:25 pm ET
by df
Enjoy Pizza Hut.
Pizza the Hut was awesome.
Space Balls was genius.
Haiku # 55294 November 4, 2016 7:23 pm ET
by df
What is really gross:
Collect dandruff and add salt.
Parm cheese substitute.
Haiku # 55293 November 4, 2016 7:23 pm ET
by df
Do NOT order ham
if ever you're in Asia;
it will be sponge "meat".
Haiku # 55292 November 4, 2016 7:23 pm ET
by df
There is too much spam.
It is rather disgusting.
More than the real Spam.

Haiku # 55291 November 4, 2016 7:22 pm ET
by df
I was a clean youth.
In my late years I partied.
And will until death.
Haiku # 55290 November 4, 2016 7:13 pm ET
by df
the system is slow
the abuses of youth creep
up and take the down

path of the wounded
body, staking a claim on
the golden adult
Haiku # 55289 November 4, 2016 11:20 am ET
by vhs
You disappoint me
Go get sleepy mourning buds
Love music davie
Haiku # 55288 November 4, 2016 4:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Body decaying.
Collect dead parts dropping off.
Skin, hair, phlegm, penis.
Haiku # 55272 November 3, 2016 4:00 pm ET
by df
I should not be here.
Why do we keep doing it?
Like a bad marriage.
Haiku # 55271 November 3, 2016 1:35 pm ET
by df
I had a nightmare.
My wife had removed my balls.
I let her do it.
Haiku # 55270 November 3, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by df
Rock n Roll Gigh School
I Wanna Be Sedated
Pinhead, Blitzkrieg Bop
Haiku # 55269 November 3, 2016 2:00 am ET
by Wellspent Youth
i think the ramones
might be necessary to
cut through the spam here
Haiku # 55267 November 2, 2016 12:53 pm ET
by vhs
Electrified mosquito racquets.

Satisfying zaps
crackle with light saber noise
as blood suckers die.

Some spell it racket.
They should have their balls shocked off.
Though they are quite loud.

I mean the racquets.
The racquets make a racket
when they kill insects.

Those who misspell racquet would also make a racket when having their balls shocked off and it would also be satisfying, but I wouldn't want to listen to all that when I'm trying to get a few hours sleep at 1:00 a.m., if you know what I mean, so please sound proof your torture chamber basement. It also helps keep cops away. Thanks very much.
Haiku # 55259 November 2, 2016 12:21 am ET
by df of chasing amps
It's looo-og, it's loooo-og,
it's big, it's heave it's wood.
It's looo-og, it's looo-og,
it's better than bad, it's good!
Haiku # 55258 November 1, 2016 10:16 pm ET
by Kylo Stimpy
It rolls down stairs, in singles or pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog.
It's great as a snack, fit's right on your back, it's log log log!
Haiku # 55257 November 1, 2016 8:43 pm ET
by Kylo Ren
i wonder how many poems here
are actually just spam
Haiku # 55255 November 1, 2016 10:25 am ET
by vhs
I want to jack off.
The bedroom door will not lock.
Guess I'll read a book.
Haiku # 55240 October 30, 2016 6:14 am ET
by df
Venereal Disease Hippopotamus Foreskin Scabs?
Haiku # 55239 October 30, 2016 6:06 am ET
by df
VDHFS
Your car is waiting for you
give me a dollar
Haiku # 55238 October 30, 2016 4:23 am ET
by adorable kittens
This is gibberish
Capital sea love Barney
Did smoke affect you?
Haiku # 55237 October 30, 2016 4:11 am ET
by Sagepants erectus defectus
PHONY WRESTELECTION SCRIPT HAIKU
Trump speaks gibberish,
Clinton is lying again,
We need Ric Flair now!
Haiku # 55236 October 30, 2016 1:45 am ET
by PhilMyCrevice of BF Wyoming
Fuck the electoral college.
Lets get rid of that shit right now.
Dinosaurs didn't need it, so why should we?
Seriously, I'd like my vote to matter.
Under the electoral college, it does not.
Fuck the electoral college and all who support it.
Haiku # 55235 October 29, 2016 3:23 pm ET
by df
Dinosaurs are cool.
If I could vote them back and
humans out, I would.
Haiku # 55234 October 29, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by df
I can't find anything reliable about any upcoming wars on youtube. Maybe things will be okay. Assuming someone assassinates Trump and Clinton at the same time and aliens come down to show us how to take better care of this planet and we stop using so much frivolous stuff like junk food and the internet. I think I'm finally getting better. I just blew out the hugest booger I've ever made in my life. We're talking epic. Thanks Science for modern meds, eh? Steroid nasal spray. Now I can beat my wife and have an excuse. Ha ha. Being able to breathe again has made me randy. Ah life.
Haiku # 55233 October 29, 2016 3:12 pm ET
by df
That sucks about your friend and I'm sorry to hear that. I've never had a bad experience w/ shrooms b/c I think they are quite mild even when you take large dose. Acid on the other hand, I can see as being quite dangerous on all levels.
Haiku # 55232 October 29, 2016 2:58 pm ET
by df
war and rumors of
wars on the youtube as the
leaders shit their pants
Haiku # 55231 October 29, 2016 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
damn typoes but you
know under duress things have
ways of turning out
Haiku # 55230 October 29, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
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