Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

damn typoes but you
know under duress things have
ways of turning out
Haiku # 55230, October 29, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i lost a friend when
he was tripping on mushrooms
accidental thing

it still haunt me to this dy
Haiku # 55229, October 29, 2016 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
confessional po
-ems are a long lived life, I'm
still alive although
Haiku # 55228, October 29, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I need some sleep now.
Please don't pilfer my penis.
I need it to pee.
Haiku # 55227, October 29, 2016 9:04 am ET
by df
Tripping on mushroom
while at a national park
hot spring was awesome.
Haiku # 55226, October 29, 2016 9:01 am ET
by df
Gaseous output
of humans destroys the earth --
retain your flatus.
Haiku # 55225, October 29, 2016 8:59 am ET
by df
I need a long rest.
Five years sleep would do nicely.
Or perhaps just death.
Haiku # 55224, October 29, 2016 8:55 am ET
by df
Oregon kicks ass.
People there love to get high.
We got free ice cream!
Haiku # 55223, October 29, 2016 8:53 am ET
by df
I went to Boston.
The people there were not nice.
They never smiled.
Haiku # 55222, October 29, 2016 8:51 am ET
by df
How much for a heart?
How much is your liver worth?
Mine is not worth much.
Haiku # 55221, October 29, 2016 8:50 am ET
by df
I just locked the door.
Never know who is outside.
They'll sell my organs.
Haiku # 55220, October 29, 2016 8:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lemurs have femurs.
But negros do not grow knees.
Well... maybe they do.
Haiku # 55219, October 29, 2016 8:47 am ET
by df
Mountain biking nuns
seek enlightenment through pain
and broken femurs.
Haiku # 55218, October 29, 2016 8:45 am ET
by df
Toxic shock syndrome
is not possible to get
for Kaitlyn Jenner.
Haiku # 55217, October 29, 2016 8:42 am ET
by df
Raw oysters can kill.
But then so can raw bullets.
Swallow molten lead.
Haiku # 55216, October 29, 2016 8:39 am ET
by df
I keep hearing things.
The ghosts want me to come home.
They need groceries.
Haiku # 55215, October 29, 2016 8:37 am ET
by df
I'd like a teen whore.
I don't care about my wife.
I know it is wrong.
Haiku # 55214, October 29, 2016 8:35 am ET
by df
While on a big wave
you should try not to nose dive--
that would be painful.
Haiku # 55213, October 29, 2016 8:34 am ET
by df
Captchas know my thoughts.
Even before I have them.
Happy Halloween.
Haiku # 55212, October 29, 2016 8:32 am ET
by df
Here there are no cows.
And those cows are quite happy.
You should be a cow.
Haiku # 55211, October 29, 2016 8:31 am ET
by df
A fast car went by.
Worms turn shit into compost.
Chewbaca defense.
Haiku # 55210, October 29, 2016 8:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I massaged my cat.
He did not become larger.
Eating mice did that.
Haiku # 55209, October 29, 2016 8:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Massage my testes.
Will it make them grow larger?
Let's find out, shall we.
Haiku # 55208, October 29, 2016 8:26 am ET
by df
I'll massage your tits.
And grab you by the pussy.
Call it therapy.
Haiku # 55207, October 29, 2016 8:25 am ET
by df
Good morning U.S.
Your election is a joke
Try reading a book
Haiku # 55201, October 29, 2016 4:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.
Haiku # 55200, October 28, 2016 11:16 pm ET
by df
Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.
Haiku # 55199, October 28, 2016 11:13 pm ET
by df
My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.
Haiku # 55198, October 28, 2016 6:24 pm ET
by df
Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.
Haiku # 55197, October 28, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df
My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.
Haiku # 55196, October 28, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by df
This will be pointless.
But I suppose that's the point.
Waggie Yoogle Floonk.
Haiku # 55195, October 28, 2016 6:12 pm ET
by df
She has a nice ass.
Four in five dentists agree.
The other is gay.
Haiku # 55194, October 28, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by df
you know in these end
times if we do more art and
they don't come then what

will people speak of
arts or farts or Steppenwolf
seven five seven
Haiku # 55193, October 28, 2016 1:33 pm ET
by vhs
I fart way too much.
Do you think Beano's for me?
What do doctors say?

You won't believe this!
The captcha is "Sauf Colon".
Did it read my mind?!

Grunt!
Haiku # 55192, October 28, 2016 9:40 am ET
by df
nonsense, miracle
whipper snapper, you know all
that 23 skidoo
Haiku # 55180, October 27, 2016 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Whipper snapper!
Haiku # 55179, October 27, 2016 11:58 am ET
by df
i just turned 43
today which isn't bad i just
wonder what's up next

better call saul maybe
Haiku # 55178, October 27, 2016 11:56 am ET
by vhs
existential stuff
really, we make the meaning
of our lives in times
Haiku # 55177, October 27, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
grins, the world is a
vampire, a real smashing
insight by a great song

and if the vampire girlfriend shows up I'll let you know how that turns out :)
Haiku # 55176, October 27, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
You feel that way,
vhs, because you're right.
It is all pointless.

The world is a thief.
The universe keeps taking.
And nothing changes.

God designed the universe to fail.
Therefore we cannot take over His position.
We have no power to overthrow Him.
Not like He's a president or king.
The first and second laws of thermo: (1) you can't create shit, (2) shit just keeps getting worse.
It all makes sense. Laws of The Ultimate Dictator.
Haiku # 55175, October 27, 2016 7:50 am ET
by df
you are a snowflake
in bad haiku avalanche
each one important
Haiku # 55172, October 26, 2016 11:06 pm ET
by adorable kittens
why do i feel like
the more i post here the more
meaningless it is
Haiku # 55171, October 26, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
Toad tripping is lame.
Mushrooms will give you visions.
All of them are true.

A mushroom asks a
girl to dance and she declines..
"But I'm a fun guy!"
Haiku # 55170, October 26, 2016 1:12 am ET
by df
Lick the dirty toad
Take it home, to your abode
Make it a sandwich
Haiku # 55169, October 25, 2016 10:39 pm ET
by adorable kittens
The frog swims through filth.
Yet he rather enjoys it.
No one will eat him.
Haiku # 55168, October 25, 2016 8:03 pm ET
by df
I will vote for Trump
if he fixes this website
to get rid of spam.
Haiku # 55167, October 25, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df of Just Kidding! Jeeez!
writing taking shit
as it comes down sitting and
spreading words down like

peanut butter stuff
what can i say but write more
spam will still spam on
Haiku # 55165, October 25, 2016 11:16 am ET
by vhs
well one candidate
is insane and extroverts
piss me off real bad

glares at the poop head
still want to be pres, you can
throw poo at the folks

who want to hustle
bustle, invade, tear apart
and globalize, hmm
Haiku # 55164, October 25, 2016 11:10 am ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55163, October 24, 2016 9:29 pm ET
by darth rigpuker
Robin Williams dead
Charlie Sheen is still alive
There is no justice
Haiku # 55157, October 24, 2016 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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