I need a long rest.
Five years sleep would do nicely.
Or perhaps just death.

Oregon kicks ass.
People there love to get high.
We got free ice cream!

I went to Boston.
The people there were not nice.
They never smiled.

How much for a heart?
How much is your liver worth?
Mine is not worth much.

I just locked the door.
Never know who is outside.
They'll sell my organs.

Lemurs have femurs.
But negros do not grow knees.
Well... maybe they do.

Mountain biking nuns
seek enlightenment through pain
and broken femurs.

Toxic shock syndrome
is not possible to get
for Kaitlyn Jenner.

Raw oysters can kill.
But then so can raw bullets.
Swallow molten lead.

I keep hearing things.
The ghosts want me to come home.
They need groceries.

I'd like a teen whore.
I don't care about my wife.
I know it is wrong.

While on a big wave
you should try not to nose dive--
that would be painful.

Captchas know my thoughts.
Even before I have them.
Happy Halloween.

Here there are no cows.
And those cows are quite happy.
You should be a cow.

A fast car went by.
Worms turn shit into compost.
Chewbaca defense.

I massaged my cat.
He did not become larger.
Eating mice did that.

Massage my testes.
Will it make them grow larger?
Let's find out, shall we.

I'll massage your tits.
And grab you by the pussy.
Call it therapy.

Good morning U.S.
Your election is a joke
Try reading a book

I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.

Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.

My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.

Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.

My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.

This will be pointless.
But I suppose that's the point.
Waggie Yoogle Floonk.

She has a nice ass.
Four in five dentists agree.
The other is gay.

you know in these end
times if we do more art and
they don't come then what

will people speak of
arts or farts or Steppenwolf
seven five seven

I fart way too much.
Do you think Beano's for me?
What do doctors say?

You won't believe this!
The captcha is "Sauf Colon".
Did it read my mind?!

Grunt!

nonsense, miracle
whipper snapper, you know all
that 23 skidoo

Whipper snapper!

i just turned 43
today which isn't bad i just
wonder what's up next

better call saul maybe

existential stuff
really, we make the meaning
of our lives in times

grins, the world is a
vampire, a real smashing
insight by a great song

and if the vampire girlfriend shows up I'll let you know how that turns out :)

You feel that way,
vhs, because you're right.
It is all pointless.

The world is a thief.
The universe keeps taking.
And nothing changes.

God designed the universe to fail.
Therefore we cannot take over His position.
We have no power to overthrow Him.
Not like He's a president or king.
The first and second laws of thermo: (1) you can't create shit, (2) shit just keeps getting worse.
It all makes sense. Laws of The Ultimate Dictator.

you are a snowflake
in bad haiku avalanche
each one important

why do i feel like
the more i post here the more
meaningless it is

Toad tripping is lame.
Mushrooms will give you visions.
All of them are true.

A mushroom asks a
girl to dance and she declines..
"But I'm a fun guy!"

Lick the dirty toad
Take it home, to your abode
Make it a sandwich

The frog swims through filth.
Yet he rather enjoys it.
No one will eat him.

I will vote for Trump
if he fixes this website
to get rid of spam.

writing taking shit
as it comes down sitting and
spreading words down like

peanut butter stuff
what can i say but write more
spam will still spam on

well one candidate
is insane and extroverts
piss me off real bad

glares at the poop head
still want to be pres, you can
throw poo at the folks

who want to hustle
bustle, invade, tear apart
and globalize, hmm

rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA

Robin Williams dead
Charlie Sheen is still alive
There is no justice

What was I doing?
Oh, I completely forgot.
This is for haiku.

After producing my third pound of nasal mucus and lung oysters this morning, thankfully no longer with blood, one tends to lose track of counting silly bulls.

Is it mold or dust?
Or demonic possession?
Out, you fucking whore!

Get out of my head!
Netti pot holy water.
Tried everything else.

(C) Copyright 2016, All Rights Reserved.

I was going to post something lewd crude and disgusting, but forgot what it was. Fucking meds got me all fucked up in the head.

I paid a poacher $1000 to bring me a severed elephant penis with which to make medicinal soup. He brought it to me, but it was suspiciously dark in color. St. Louis is a strange town.

... doing strange things with licorice whips.

Once Hillary Clinton takes office, I think she should leave her cheating husband and sleep with several male interns, but then once that phase passes, she should marry Donald Trump and they can shred the US Constitution and form the New World Empire under which date rape and murder will become legal and laws will be made by stock holders with the largest shares and all women will be required to carry condoms in case some random stranger wants to rape them while eating a polar bear sandwich.

Men who eat pussy
are known as pussy-eaters.
Lesbians hate them.

Does the bible say
that I can't screw sea urchins
if I am careful?