Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.
Haiku # 55200, October 28, 2016 11:16 pm ET
by df
Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.
Haiku # 55199, October 28, 2016 11:13 pm ET
by df
My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.
Haiku # 55198, October 28, 2016 6:24 pm ET
by df
Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.
Haiku # 55197, October 28, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df
My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.
Haiku # 55196, October 28, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by df
This will be pointless.
But I suppose that's the point.
Waggie Yoogle Floonk.
Haiku # 55195, October 28, 2016 6:12 pm ET
by df
She has a nice ass.
Four in five dentists agree.
The other is gay.
Haiku # 55194, October 28, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by df
you know in these end
times if we do more art and
they don't come then what

will people speak of
arts or farts or Steppenwolf
seven five seven
Haiku # 55193, October 28, 2016 1:33 pm ET
by vhs
I fart way too much.
Do you think Beano's for me?
What do doctors say?

You won't believe this!
The captcha is "Sauf Colon".
Did it read my mind?!

Grunt!
Haiku # 55192, October 28, 2016 9:40 am ET
by df
nonsense, miracle
whipper snapper, you know all
that 23 skidoo
Haiku # 55180, October 27, 2016 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Whipper snapper!
Haiku # 55179, October 27, 2016 11:58 am ET
by df
i just turned 43
today which isn't bad i just
wonder what's up next

better call saul maybe
Haiku # 55178, October 27, 2016 11:56 am ET
by vhs
existential stuff
really, we make the meaning
of our lives in times
Haiku # 55177, October 27, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
grins, the world is a
vampire, a real smashing
insight by a great song

and if the vampire girlfriend shows up I'll let you know how that turns out :)
Haiku # 55176, October 27, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
You feel that way,
vhs, because you're right.
It is all pointless.

The world is a thief.
The universe keeps taking.
And nothing changes.

God designed the universe to fail.
Therefore we cannot take over His position.
We have no power to overthrow Him.
Not like He's a president or king.
The first and second laws of thermo: (1) you can't create shit, (2) shit just keeps getting worse.
It all makes sense. Laws of The Ultimate Dictator.
Haiku # 55175, October 27, 2016 7:50 am ET
by df
you are a snowflake
in bad haiku avalanche
each one important
Haiku # 55172, October 26, 2016 11:06 pm ET
by adorable kittens
why do i feel like
the more i post here the more
meaningless it is
Haiku # 55171, October 26, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
Toad tripping is lame.
Mushrooms will give you visions.
All of them are true.

A mushroom asks a
girl to dance and she declines..
"But I'm a fun guy!"
Haiku # 55170, October 26, 2016 1:12 am ET
by df
Lick the dirty toad
Take it home, to your abode
Make it a sandwich
Haiku # 55169, October 25, 2016 10:39 pm ET
by adorable kittens
The frog swims through filth.
Yet he rather enjoys it.
No one will eat him.
Haiku # 55168, October 25, 2016 8:03 pm ET
by df
I will vote for Trump
if he fixes this website
to get rid of spam.
Haiku # 55167, October 25, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df of Just Kidding! Jeeez!
writing taking shit
as it comes down sitting and
spreading words down like

peanut butter stuff
what can i say but write more
spam will still spam on
Haiku # 55165, October 25, 2016 11:16 am ET
by vhs
well one candidate
is insane and extroverts
piss me off real bad

glares at the poop head
still want to be pres, you can
throw poo at the folks

who want to hustle
bustle, invade, tear apart
and globalize, hmm
Haiku # 55164, October 25, 2016 11:10 am ET
by vhs
rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA rooywoir of USA
Haiku # 55163, October 24, 2016 9:29 pm ET
by darth rigpuker
Robin Williams dead
Charlie Sheen is still alive
There is no justice
Haiku # 55157, October 24, 2016 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What was I doing?
Oh, I completely forgot.
This is for haiku.

After producing my third pound of nasal mucus and lung oysters this morning, thankfully no longer with blood, one tends to lose track of counting silly bulls.

Is it mold or dust?
Or demonic possession?
Out, you fucking whore!

Get out of my head!
Netti pot holy water.
Tried everything else.

(C) Copyright 2016, All Rights Reserved.
Haiku # 55155, October 23, 2016 7:57 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Nasdaq: DFI
I was going to post something lewd crude and disgusting, but forgot what it was. Fucking meds got me all fucked up in the head.

I paid a poacher $1000 to bring me a severed elephant penis with which to make medicinal soup. He brought it to me, but it was suspiciously dark in color. St. Louis is a strange town.
Haiku # 55154, October 23, 2016 7:47 pm ET
by df
... doing strange things with licorice whips.
Haiku # 55153, October 23, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Once Hillary Clinton takes office, I think she should leave her cheating husband and sleep with several male interns, but then once that phase passes, she should marry Donald Trump and they can shred the US Constitution and form the New World Empire under which date rape and murder will become legal and laws will be made by stock holders with the largest shares and all women will be required to carry condoms in case some random stranger wants to rape them while eating a polar bear sandwich.
Haiku # 55152, October 23, 2016 6:37 pm ET
by vhs of Lounging on Darth Figpucker's couch, drinking his German beer while his mistress dances around naked doing strange things with l
Men who eat pussy
are known as pussy-eaters.
Lesbians hate them.
Haiku # 55149, October 23, 2016 6:22 pm ET
by df
Does the bible say
that I can't screw sea urchins
if I am careful?
Haiku # 55148, October 23, 2016 5:56 pm ET
by Satanic Bumble Bees Attaining Self-Awareness and Dark Wisdom of Your Back Yard Under the Lightening Scarred Tree.
Hello!
Haiku # 55147, October 23, 2016 5:49 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Stockholm, Sweden
Haiku # 55146, October 23, 2016 6:43 am ET
by Howdy Ho! of Up shit creek w/o a paddle.
Vap
Haiku # 55145, October 23, 2016 6:38 am ET
by Farty of New Zealand
Pav
Haiku # 55144, October 23, 2016 4:54 am ET
by marty of Australia
about time he says and
i say pony girl married
her, now i cart her

around, and that's ok :)
Haiku # 55143, October 22, 2016 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
Oh fuck me running!
Spam to cure to nail funk.
Now that is funny!

Mushrooms are fungi.
And you can trip on mushrooms.
Can I suck your toes?
Haiku # 55142, October 22, 2016 12:52 pm ET
by df
Hello!
Haiku # 55140, October 22, 2016 7:20 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc.
yes now if I'm on
again mAYBE dPF
will show up and we

can go back to my
"Look at me I'm a Christian"
and he can say "poop"
Haiku # 55139, October 22, 2016 12:37 am ET
by vhs
mild and wild just had
some down time here growing old
average haiku
Haiku # 55138, October 21, 2016 11:37 pm ET
by vhs aka ronin
haiku oh haiku
ever more like walter white
than like walt whitman
Haiku # 55137, October 21, 2016 10:09 pm ET
by ash
cold wether returns
soft white blanket virgin snow
urinate your name
Haiku # 55123, October 21, 2016 1:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Spaghetti with meat
But not just any meat! It is...
GLORIOUS BALLS OF MEAT
Haiku # 55122, October 20, 2016 8:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What the heck happened?
Neither Darth or VHS?
This place a graveyard
Haiku # 55121, October 20, 2016 8:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Baseball playoff games
Taking waaaay too fucking long
Leads to much napping
Haiku # 55116, October 20, 2016 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Legal anabolic steroids do exist and this is surprising to some. To find legal anabolic steroids you need to understand all the ins and outs.
http://www.crazybulkguide.com/
Haiku # 55111, October 19, 2016 6:06 am ET
by Crazy Bulk of California, USA
Hell no, we won't go!
Wait, you're going to Paris?
Well that sounds like fun.
Haiku # 55106, October 18, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
shark in your bathtub
she is not here to make friends
record for evidence
Haiku # 55100, October 17, 2016 1:10 am ET
by Lord of the Dance
I just like the helpful information you provide on your articles. I will bookmark your blog and test once more here frequently. I'm moderately certain I will learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next! dfdabeaaekab
Haiku # 55098, October 16, 2016 10:07 pm ET
by towpwoue of USA
hammertoe cheap shoes
young folks meals raimens and spam
older, beans and rice
Haiku # 55097, October 16, 2016 11:14 am ET
by vhs
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >