Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 65 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
VDHFS
Your car is waiting for you
give me a dollar
Haiku # 55238 October 30, 2016 4:23 am ET
by adorable kittens
This is gibberish
Capital sea love Barney
Did smoke affect you?
Haiku # 55237 October 30, 2016 4:11 am ET
by Sagepants erectus defectus
PHONY WRESTELECTION SCRIPT HAIKU
Trump speaks gibberish,
Clinton is lying again,
We need Ric Flair now!
Haiku # 55236 October 30, 2016 1:45 am ET
by PhilMyCrevice of BF Wyoming
Fuck the electoral college.
Lets get rid of that shit right now.
Dinosaurs didn't need it, so why should we?
Seriously, I'd like my vote to matter.
Under the electoral college, it does not.
Fuck the electoral college and all who support it.
Haiku # 55235 October 29, 2016 3:23 pm ET
by df
Dinosaurs are cool.
If I could vote them back and
humans out, I would.
Haiku # 55234 October 29, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by df
I can't find anything reliable about any upcoming wars on youtube. Maybe things will be okay. Assuming someone assassinates Trump and Clinton at the same time and aliens come down to show us how to take better care of this planet and we stop using so much frivolous stuff like junk food and the internet. I think I'm finally getting better. I just blew out the hugest booger I've ever made in my life. We're talking epic. Thanks Science for modern meds, eh? Steroid nasal spray. Now I can beat my wife and have an excuse. Ha ha. Being able to breathe again has made me randy. Ah life.
Haiku # 55233 October 29, 2016 3:12 pm ET
by df
That sucks about your friend and I'm sorry to hear that. I've never had a bad experience w/ shrooms b/c I think they are quite mild even when you take large dose. Acid on the other hand, I can see as being quite dangerous on all levels.
Haiku # 55232 October 29, 2016 2:58 pm ET
by df
war and rumors of
wars on the youtube as the
leaders shit their pants
Haiku # 55231 October 29, 2016 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
damn typoes but you
know under duress things have
ways of turning out
Haiku # 55230 October 29, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i lost a friend when
he was tripping on mushrooms
accidental thing

it still haunt me to this dy
Haiku # 55229 October 29, 2016 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
confessional po
-ems are a long lived life, I'm
still alive although
Haiku # 55228 October 29, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I need some sleep now.
Please don't pilfer my penis.
I need it to pee.
Haiku # 55227 October 29, 2016 9:04 am ET
by df
Tripping on mushroom
while at a national park
hot spring was awesome.
Haiku # 55226 October 29, 2016 9:01 am ET
by df
Gaseous output
of humans destroys the earth --
retain your flatus.
Haiku # 55225 October 29, 2016 8:59 am ET
by df
I need a long rest.
Five years sleep would do nicely.
Or perhaps just death.
Haiku # 55224 October 29, 2016 8:55 am ET
by df
Oregon kicks ass.
People there love to get high.
We got free ice cream!
Haiku # 55223 October 29, 2016 8:53 am ET
by df
I went to Boston.
The people there were not nice.
They never smiled.
Haiku # 55222 October 29, 2016 8:51 am ET
by df
How much for a heart?
How much is your liver worth?
Mine is not worth much.
Haiku # 55221 October 29, 2016 8:50 am ET
by df
I just locked the door.
Never know who is outside.
They'll sell my organs.
Haiku # 55220 October 29, 2016 8:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lemurs have femurs.
But negros do not grow knees.
Well... maybe they do.
Haiku # 55219 October 29, 2016 8:47 am ET
by df
Mountain biking nuns
seek enlightenment through pain
and broken femurs.
Haiku # 55218 October 29, 2016 8:45 am ET
by df
Toxic shock syndrome
is not possible to get
for Kaitlyn Jenner.
Haiku # 55217 October 29, 2016 8:42 am ET
by df
Raw oysters can kill.
But then so can raw bullets.
Swallow molten lead.
Haiku # 55216 October 29, 2016 8:39 am ET
by df
I keep hearing things.
The ghosts want me to come home.
They need groceries.
Haiku # 55215 October 29, 2016 8:37 am ET
by df
I'd like a teen whore.
I don't care about my wife.
I know it is wrong.
Haiku # 55214 October 29, 2016 8:35 am ET
by df
While on a big wave
you should try not to nose dive--
that would be painful.
Haiku # 55213 October 29, 2016 8:34 am ET
by df
Captchas know my thoughts.
Even before I have them.
Happy Halloween.
Haiku # 55212 October 29, 2016 8:32 am ET
by df
Here there are no cows.
And those cows are quite happy.
You should be a cow.
Haiku # 55211 October 29, 2016 8:31 am ET
by df
A fast car went by.
Worms turn shit into compost.
Chewbaca defense.
Haiku # 55210 October 29, 2016 8:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I massaged my cat.
He did not become larger.
Eating mice did that.
Haiku # 55209 October 29, 2016 8:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Massage my testes.
Will it make them grow larger?
Let's find out, shall we.
Haiku # 55208 October 29, 2016 8:26 am ET
by df
I'll massage your tits.
And grab you by the pussy.
Call it therapy.
Haiku # 55207 October 29, 2016 8:25 am ET
by df
Good morning U.S.
Your election is a joke
Try reading a book
Haiku # 55201 October 29, 2016 4:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.
Haiku # 55200 October 28, 2016 11:16 pm ET
by df
Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.
Haiku # 55199 October 28, 2016 11:13 pm ET
by df
My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.
Haiku # 55198 October 28, 2016 6:24 pm ET
by df
Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.
Haiku # 55197 October 28, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df
My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.
Haiku # 55196 October 28, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by df
This will be pointless.
But I suppose that's the point.
Waggie Yoogle Floonk.
Haiku # 55195 October 28, 2016 6:12 pm ET
by df
She has a nice ass.
Four in five dentists agree.
The other is gay.
Haiku # 55194 October 28, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by df
you know in these end
times if we do more art and
they don't come then what

will people speak of
arts or farts or Steppenwolf
seven five seven
Haiku # 55193 October 28, 2016 1:33 pm ET
by vhs
I fart way too much.
Do you think Beano's for me?
What do doctors say?

You won't believe this!
The captcha is "Sauf Colon".
Did it read my mind?!

Grunt!
Haiku # 55192 October 28, 2016 9:40 am ET
by df
nonsense, miracle
whipper snapper, you know all
that 23 skidoo
Haiku # 55180 October 27, 2016 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Whipper snapper!
Haiku # 55179 October 27, 2016 11:58 am ET
by df
i just turned 43
today which isn't bad i just
wonder what's up next

better call saul maybe
Haiku # 55178 October 27, 2016 11:56 am ET
by vhs
existential stuff
really, we make the meaning
of our lives in times
Haiku # 55177 October 27, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
grins, the world is a
vampire, a real smashing
insight by a great song

and if the vampire girlfriend shows up I'll let you know how that turns out :)
Haiku # 55176 October 27, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
You feel that way,
vhs, because you're right.
It is all pointless.

The world is a thief.
The universe keeps taking.
And nothing changes.

God designed the universe to fail.
Therefore we cannot take over His position.
We have no power to overthrow Him.
Not like He's a president or king.
The first and second laws of thermo: (1) you can't create shit, (2) shit just keeps getting worse.
It all makes sense. Laws of The Ultimate Dictator.
Haiku # 55175 October 27, 2016 7:50 am ET
by df
you are a snowflake
in bad haiku avalanche
each one important
Haiku # 55172 October 26, 2016 11:06 pm ET
by adorable kittens
why do i feel like
the more i post here the more
meaningless it is
Haiku # 55171 October 26, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >