Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 65 Days and 78029 Haiku later...
You disappoint me
Go get sleepy mourning buds
Love music davie
Haiku # 55288 November 4, 2016 4:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Body decaying.
Collect dead parts dropping off.
Skin, hair, phlegm, penis.
Haiku # 55272 November 3, 2016 4:00 pm ET
by df
I should not be here.
Why do we keep doing it?
Like a bad marriage.
Haiku # 55271 November 3, 2016 1:35 pm ET
by df
I had a nightmare.
My wife had removed my balls.
I let her do it.
Haiku # 55270 November 3, 2016 1:32 pm ET
by df
Rock n Roll Gigh School
I Wanna Be Sedated
Pinhead, Blitzkrieg Bop
Haiku # 55269 November 3, 2016 2:00 am ET
by Wellspent Youth
i think the ramones
might be necessary to
cut through the spam here
Haiku # 55267 November 2, 2016 12:53 pm ET
by vhs
Electrified mosquito racquets.

Satisfying zaps
crackle with light saber noise
as blood suckers die.

Some spell it racket.
They should have their balls shocked off.
Though they are quite loud.

I mean the racquets.
The racquets make a racket
when they kill insects.

Those who misspell racquet would also make a racket when having their balls shocked off and it would also be satisfying, but I wouldn't want to listen to all that when I'm trying to get a few hours sleep at 1:00 a.m., if you know what I mean, so please sound proof your torture chamber basement. It also helps keep cops away. Thanks very much.
Haiku # 55259 November 2, 2016 12:21 am ET
by df of chasing amps
It's looo-og, it's loooo-og,
it's big, it's heave it's wood.
It's looo-og, it's looo-og,
it's better than bad, it's good!
Haiku # 55258 November 1, 2016 10:16 pm ET
by Kylo Stimpy
It rolls down stairs, in singles or pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog.
It's great as a snack, fit's right on your back, it's log log log!
Haiku # 55257 November 1, 2016 8:43 pm ET
by Kylo Ren
i wonder how many poems here
are actually just spam
Haiku # 55255 November 1, 2016 10:25 am ET
by vhs
I want to jack off.
The bedroom door will not lock.
Guess I'll read a book.
Haiku # 55240 October 30, 2016 6:14 am ET
by df
Venereal Disease Hippopotamus Foreskin Scabs?
Haiku # 55239 October 30, 2016 6:06 am ET
by df
VDHFS
Your car is waiting for you
give me a dollar
Haiku # 55238 October 30, 2016 4:23 am ET
by adorable kittens
This is gibberish
Capital sea love Barney
Did smoke affect you?
Haiku # 55237 October 30, 2016 4:11 am ET
by Sagepants erectus defectus
PHONY WRESTELECTION SCRIPT HAIKU
Trump speaks gibberish,
Clinton is lying again,
We need Ric Flair now!
Haiku # 55236 October 30, 2016 1:45 am ET
by PhilMyCrevice of BF Wyoming
Fuck the electoral college.
Lets get rid of that shit right now.
Dinosaurs didn't need it, so why should we?
Seriously, I'd like my vote to matter.
Under the electoral college, it does not.
Fuck the electoral college and all who support it.
Haiku # 55235 October 29, 2016 3:23 pm ET
by df
Dinosaurs are cool.
If I could vote them back and
humans out, I would.
Haiku # 55234 October 29, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by df
I can't find anything reliable about any upcoming wars on youtube. Maybe things will be okay. Assuming someone assassinates Trump and Clinton at the same time and aliens come down to show us how to take better care of this planet and we stop using so much frivolous stuff like junk food and the internet. I think I'm finally getting better. I just blew out the hugest booger I've ever made in my life. We're talking epic. Thanks Science for modern meds, eh? Steroid nasal spray. Now I can beat my wife and have an excuse. Ha ha. Being able to breathe again has made me randy. Ah life.
Haiku # 55233 October 29, 2016 3:12 pm ET
by df
That sucks about your friend and I'm sorry to hear that. I've never had a bad experience w/ shrooms b/c I think they are quite mild even when you take large dose. Acid on the other hand, I can see as being quite dangerous on all levels.
Haiku # 55232 October 29, 2016 2:58 pm ET
by df
war and rumors of
wars on the youtube as the
leaders shit their pants
Haiku # 55231 October 29, 2016 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
damn typoes but you
know under duress things have
ways of turning out
Haiku # 55230 October 29, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i lost a friend when
he was tripping on mushrooms
accidental thing

it still haunt me to this dy
Haiku # 55229 October 29, 2016 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
confessional po
-ems are a long lived life, I'm
still alive although
Haiku # 55228 October 29, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I need some sleep now.
Please don't pilfer my penis.
I need it to pee.
Haiku # 55227 October 29, 2016 9:04 am ET
by df
Tripping on mushroom
while at a national park
hot spring was awesome.
Haiku # 55226 October 29, 2016 9:01 am ET
by df
Gaseous output
of humans destroys the earth --
retain your flatus.
Haiku # 55225 October 29, 2016 8:59 am ET
by df
I need a long rest.
Five years sleep would do nicely.
Or perhaps just death.
Haiku # 55224 October 29, 2016 8:55 am ET
by df
Oregon kicks ass.
People there love to get high.
We got free ice cream!
Haiku # 55223 October 29, 2016 8:53 am ET
by df
I went to Boston.
The people there were not nice.
They never smiled.
Haiku # 55222 October 29, 2016 8:51 am ET
by df
How much for a heart?
How much is your liver worth?
Mine is not worth much.
Haiku # 55221 October 29, 2016 8:50 am ET
by df
I just locked the door.
Never know who is outside.
They'll sell my organs.
Haiku # 55220 October 29, 2016 8:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lemurs have femurs.
But negros do not grow knees.
Well... maybe they do.
Haiku # 55219 October 29, 2016 8:47 am ET
by df
Mountain biking nuns
seek enlightenment through pain
and broken femurs.
Haiku # 55218 October 29, 2016 8:45 am ET
by df
Toxic shock syndrome
is not possible to get
for Kaitlyn Jenner.
Haiku # 55217 October 29, 2016 8:42 am ET
by df
Raw oysters can kill.
But then so can raw bullets.
Swallow molten lead.
Haiku # 55216 October 29, 2016 8:39 am ET
by df
I keep hearing things.
The ghosts want me to come home.
They need groceries.
Haiku # 55215 October 29, 2016 8:37 am ET
by df
I'd like a teen whore.
I don't care about my wife.
I know it is wrong.
Haiku # 55214 October 29, 2016 8:35 am ET
by df
While on a big wave
you should try not to nose dive--
that would be painful.
Haiku # 55213 October 29, 2016 8:34 am ET
by df
Captchas know my thoughts.
Even before I have them.
Happy Halloween.
Haiku # 55212 October 29, 2016 8:32 am ET
by df
Here there are no cows.
And those cows are quite happy.
You should be a cow.
Haiku # 55211 October 29, 2016 8:31 am ET
by df
A fast car went by.
Worms turn shit into compost.
Chewbaca defense.
Haiku # 55210 October 29, 2016 8:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I massaged my cat.
He did not become larger.
Eating mice did that.
Haiku # 55209 October 29, 2016 8:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Massage my testes.
Will it make them grow larger?
Let's find out, shall we.
Haiku # 55208 October 29, 2016 8:26 am ET
by df
I'll massage your tits.
And grab you by the pussy.
Call it therapy.
Haiku # 55207 October 29, 2016 8:25 am ET
by df
Good morning U.S.
Your election is a joke
Try reading a book
Haiku # 55201 October 29, 2016 4:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.
Haiku # 55200 October 28, 2016 11:16 pm ET
by df
Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.
Haiku # 55199 October 28, 2016 11:13 pm ET
by df
My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.
Haiku # 55198 October 28, 2016 6:24 pm ET
by df
Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.
Haiku # 55197 October 28, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df
My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.
Haiku # 55196 October 28, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by df
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