maybe we should say
revive rowan and martin's
laugh in, fears your

Goldie Hawn fantasies

Go lion hunting.
But use a paint ball rifle.
Shoot them in the balls.

Now that would be sport.
Four in five dentists agree.
Fluoride filled dart guns.

We're on a mission
to eradicate pesky
canine cavities.

well i will write stuff
might be funnier when i
feel better, sometimes

you know good night sleep
hentai in the morning and
golf in the evening

I don't like Star Wars.
I used to, but now I don't;
it is too PG.

It needs some sex scenes.
Ugly Sith using The Force
to screw hot young girls.

Blowing up planets,
that is just so yesterday.
It needs something else.

Cannibalism
or harvesting live bodies
for a sacrifice.

Not very Disney,
But Star Wars VII bored me
with passe evil.

The change inside me
is worse than the change outside,
unlike Bruce Jenner.

I find myself bored,
wanting a harem and drugs.
But, alas, I can't.

I wish that I could.
Responsibility sucks.
Damn mid-life crisis.

Thermodynamics
and social interactions
increase entropy.

Change always happens.
No, it is not always good.
Most often it's not.

Is this news to you?
Do you expect something else?
What is it you want?

You're too old for this.
Fairy tales are not real.
Go outside and scream.

sex toy called the "darth
invader" now how will jj
incorporate that in

the next star wars film

i can't make this one
up though "how i stole johnny
depp's alien gf"

real title, real book
really i might order that
celebrity space girls

but there's the alien
girl fetish, love her tendrils
on her head you know

jabba the hutts gal
he threw to the rancor but
imagine twi lek gf!

she's green, what's not to love?

i am having a
hard time with change if you must
i hate change, it's just

life, i'm tired, where's it
going to go, hopefully it
gets better, seasons

change, flowers bloom and
well i am at a loss for words
but here's a few more

i like the "whining"
existential calling card
kurt cobain is dead

the foo fighters live
there you go, now what to say
i'm glad they made it

one example which i
am more observational
someone wanted to

be a rubber sex
drone, whatever that is and
here's a post on

that from yours truly

i might end up with
a haiku about how awful
baby puke is now

its not whining its
kvetching, and you? what''s this
time you come from, the

sociopathic boom?
behind each "whine" is a thought
solution, idea

I can't please you dear
God i can't. i will write what
i will, damn the torpoedos

Just write one haiku
about farts or baby puke.
This is your homework.

Or your therapy.
But you must do it right now.
You will feel better.

Here is the punch line:
{drum roll} Old man on the net
thinks it's serious.

This is not funny.
But it is a running joke.
Now you must lighten the fuck up and write a haiku that is not a bunch of goddamn whining about how you're getting old and having a hard time with the newer generation online and blah blah blah...

a whole generation
doesn't read like i did or
value real space either

I'm growing old and
miss enjoying what i did
when i was younger

the punch line is has
the internet made people
stupid yet we're here

Here we share our minds.
They aren't always what we'd like.
My man snatch itches.

Telling yourself jokes?
How can a person do that?
You know the punch line

sometimes there's words that
can't be said except ha ha
taking haiku form

Harvard Poetry
Professor Reviews Haiku
Received on Tinder

there are real people
on the other end of the screen
when they pass on

a real person passed
there's a disconnect at times
between here and real

One thousand hookers.
Eighty-seven diseases.
Some unknown to man.
Bio-warfare bomb.
Walking around on two legs.
Chinese vacation.
If I get cancer,
that is just what I will do.
Revenge for dolphins.
Seriously though,
imagine an ebola
outbreak in China.
That's what this world needs.
Going out for a suntan.
Wish me rots of ruck.

was anyone here to
answer you? safety dance might
be all right, dwarfs and

english 80s bands with
maypoles in videos and
"the free market!" and

of course nintendo
mario, voltron, and the
robot chicken skits

Did anyone dance?
I mean around the Maypole.
Or is that too gay?

Big tits and cold beer.
Monster trucks and tornadoes.
It's redneck heaven!

I had changed my plans.
Grilled chicken guts on a stick.
Only 5 pesos.

It's far safer than
McD's mystery "All Beef"
soy meal and filler.

I think i'll go eat.
McDonald's tastes like dog shit.
But all else is closed.

We do not like five
Seven is demon number
Five repeats itself

only one are you
to spew DNA on roof
Of Starbucks bathroom

Has anyone else
tossed their spooge on the ceiling
in Starbucks bathroom?

Bugs and Elmer Fudd.
The marriage of Figaro.
Those were some good times.

hare conditioner
that is what I thought it was
I was quite surprised

I'm inadequate.
Considering surgery.
Penile implant.

Bionic boner.
Jackhammer vaginal joy.
Perhaps porn career.

But there's a problem.
Swimming suits will be awkward.
Surfing while erect.

Paddling will suck.
I'll drill a hole in my board.
Hoping sharks won't bite.

All for the sake of
satisfying farm horses
and Paris Hilton.

will these want ads from
pakistan (I guess) push out
all haiku poem talk?

as to these spam ads
just another part of the
world evolving, spam

from what i saw of
hell its you merge with the fire
of hell, as spirit

quite literally, but it
was a dream, and dreams are a
reflection of id.

"Boy, I bet you'd stick
your head in a fire if I
told you you'd see hell."

--Otis Firefly

i wonder where these
spam websites go but i don't
really want to know...

carlin would note of
course war is a phallic joke
with things sticking out

Hair conditioner
makes great masturbation gel.
I am an egg-spurt.

Play these tank war games.
But first take some Viagra.
You'll shoot both cannons.

snort...well i am of
course becoming Moe with the
hair, or was Larry

the right name, just a
stooge living day to day we
are human too human

Needing to spank it.
Jacking it in the shower.
Thinking of wife's friend.

Hair conditioner.
I recommend it to all guys.
Try "Mane and Tail".

Although nearly bald.
And you do not have a horse.
You will love your hand.

My fist is stinky.
What became of subtlety?
I'm a tool of Tool.

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i believed then i
decided to keep believing
must be Journey

Not sure what I am.
I am between both of them.
A man without time.
I'm over the hill.
But started falling backwards.
Back the way I came.
When I am 80
I'll be riding the big waves
and banging young girls.
But lots could stop that.
Shot by an angry husband.
Eaten by a shark.
Or something mundane.
Killed by a deadly snail.
Drowned while on mushrooms.

well if we start say
posting stuff about Dune which
i saw my copy

Goodwill, one buck, old
paperback, i am not sure
what you thought of the

David Lynch movie
but a co worker said "well
geeze it's like the "In-

vasion of the
whatever the fuck it is"
and i found humor

in that statement...so
are you Gen X or boomer?
or does that matter?

But enough of that.
Let's talk about puppy skeet.
Launch them up and "BOOM!"

I think it's legal
and even respected in
places like China.

It's hard to find and
very expensive to play,
but highly worth it.

You can also use
rare endangered animals
if you're super rich!