there are real people
on the other end of the screen
when they pass on
a real person passed
there's a disconnect at times
between here and real
by vhs
One thousand hookers.
Eighty-seven diseases.
Some unknown to man.
Bio-warfare bomb.
Walking around on two legs.
Chinese vacation.
If I get cancer,
that is just what I will do.
Revenge for dolphins.
Seriously though,
imagine an ebola
outbreak in China.
That's what this world needs.
Going out for a suntan.
Wish me rots of ruck.
by Darth Figpucker
was anyone here to
answer you? safety dance might
be all right, dwarfs and
english 80s bands with
maypoles in videos and
"the free market!" and
of course nintendo
mario, voltron, and the
robot chicken skits
by vhs
Did anyone dance?
I mean around the Maypole.
Or is that too gay?
by Darth Figpucker
Big tits and cold beer.
Monster trucks and tornadoes.
It's redneck heaven!
by Darth Figpucker
I had changed my plans.
Grilled chicken guts on a stick.
Only 5 pesos.
It's far safer than
McD's mystery "All Beef"
soy meal and filler.
by Darth Figpucker
I think i'll go eat.
McDonald's tastes like dog shit.
But all else is closed.
by Darth Figpucker
We do not like five
Seven is demon number
Five repeats itself
by Haiku is ultimate form of expression for conformists
only one are you
to spew DNA on roof
Of Starbucks bathroom
by Yoda
Has anyone else
tossed their spooge on the ceiling
in Starbucks bathroom?
by Darth Figpucker of Idling In Gender Neutral Gear
Bugs and Elmer Fudd.
The marriage of Figaro.
Those were some good times.
by Darth Figpucker
hare conditioner
that is what I thought it was
I was quite surprised
by Pack of Beagles on the hunt
I'm inadequate.
Considering surgery.
Penile implant.
Bionic boner.
Jackhammer vaginal joy.
Perhaps porn career.
But there's a problem.
Swimming suits will be awkward.
Surfing while erect.
Paddling will suck.
I'll drill a hole in my board.
Hoping sharks won't bite.
All for the sake of
satisfying farm horses
and Paris Hilton.
by Darth Figpucker
will these want ads from
pakistan (I guess) push out
all haiku poem talk?
by vhs
as to these spam ads
just another part of the
world evolving, spam
by vhs
from what i saw of
hell its you merge with the fire
of hell, as spirit
quite literally, but it
was a dream, and dreams are a
reflection of id.
by vhs
"Boy, I bet you'd stick
your head in a fire if I
told you you'd see hell."
--Otis Firefly
by Darth Figpucker
i wonder where these
spam websites go but i don't
really want to know...
by vhs
carlin would note of
course war is a phallic joke
with things sticking out
by vhs
Hair conditioner
makes great masturbation gel.
I am an egg-spurt.
by Darth Figpucker
Play these tank war games.
But first take some Viagra.
You'll shoot both cannons.
by Darth Figpucker
snort...well i am of
course becoming Moe with the
hair, or was Larry
the right name, just a
stooge living day to day we
are human too human
by ronin also vhs
Needing to spank it.
Jacking it in the shower.
Thinking of wife's friend.
Hair conditioner.
I recommend it to all guys.
Try "Mane and Tail".
Although nearly bald.
And you do not have a horse.
You will love your hand.
by Darth Figpucker
My fist is stinky.
What became of subtlety?
I'm a tool of Tool.
by Darth Figpucker
i believed then i
decided to keep believing
must be Journey
by vhs
Not sure what I am.
I am between both of them.
A man without time.
I'm over the hill.
But started falling backwards.
Back the way I came.
When I am 80
I'll be riding the big waves
and banging young girls.
But lots could stop that.
Shot by an angry husband.
Eaten by a shark.
Or something mundane.
Killed by a deadly snail.
Drowned while on mushrooms.
by Darth Figpucker.
well if we start say
posting stuff about Dune which
i saw my copy
Goodwill, one buck, old
paperback, i am not sure
what you thought of the
David Lynch movie
but a co worker said "well
geeze it's like the "In-
vasion of the
whatever the fuck it is"
and i found humor
in that statement...so
are you Gen X or boomer?
or does that matter?
by vhs
But enough of that.
Let's talk about puppy skeet.
Launch them up and "BOOM!"
I think it's legal
and even respected in
places like China.
It's hard to find and
very expensive to play,
but highly worth it.
You can also use
rare endangered animals
if you're super rich!
by Darth Figpucker
I personally
think most sci-fi is low-rent
like the last star wars.
The star killer scenes
broke every law of physics
and made me cry foul.
Older sci-fi books
at least attempt predictions
and not break science.
Douglas, however,
I love his biting humor.
Forty-two, indeed!
by Darth Figpucker
noticed that english
folks in academia
put down sci fi as
"low rent" where as those
who idolize culture
outside North Amer.
see the potential
for the sci fi thing, and they
dig it, class warfare?
by vhs
ah well "writers" are
rough on one another then
we are writers, like
saying "we are klingons"
but then again life goes
on, we post, we live
by vhs
Well, to be exact,
it's "We apologize for
the inconvenience".
WE
I sort of used that
in my novel in one spot.
An homage I guess.
by Darth Figpucker
:D
just if you're going
to stick a fish in my ear
babel on darthy...
of course God's last message was "Sorry for the inconvenience" according to Douglas Adams...
by vhs of pondering 42
May 25 is
Intergalactic Towel
Day, oh hoopy froods.
Some make the mistake
of calling it here on earth,
"International".
They just do not know.
Wave your towel late at night
to flag down space ships.
The Vogons won't come.
My poetry scares them off.
You are so welcome.
by darth figpucker
intergalactic
they must be out there somewhere
waiting to eat us
by Mandingo Ebola
reflections on the
wave, piece of ying in the yang, the
old cliche of we've
met the enemy
they are us
by vhs
sad controlling trolls
life leaves them pitied by us
who pity ourselves
by Mandingo Ebola
i see your english
is broken, mine always was
get it broken in
by vhs
just you know you're in
deep shit when someone like me
says "I'll pray for you"
by vhs
there's more than two means
to deal with anger, as a
Christian i can do
a prayer against
a Satanic force such as
afore mentioned "haiku"
or i could throw a
cup of coffee in the face
of that person but
the truth is all i
have to do is leave and the
person tends to go away...
by vhs
to those strangers so
far removed, the heckler, the
troll... well fuck you too
by vhs
does not comprehend
explosive disconnect far
removed from real life
by vhs
Prince just died and i
know it's the usual crap
about dying but
it is a shock of
those who made a mark and it
seems to be fading
worn away by the vast
erosion of time itself
forgotten and then...
by vhs
hah you can tell it's
me anonymous when it's
about 1990s relics
by vhs
I'm seeing the last
mom and pop video stores
go away at last
humanoids of the
deep replaced by stupid cat
videos, where's the
time when mars needs you
know women...more about things
like gluten these days
by Anonymous Poet
i've had some of those
hot peppers, durian fruit
i work in that scene
i should be writing
but i am haikuing with you
about lawrence welk
(I didn't realize how bad he was,
thank a you, thank a you)
by vhs
Donald Trump is bad.
But I would choose him over
Hillary Clinton.
by darth figpucker
lawrence welk is dull.
one hundred percent lifeless.
like a blow up doll.
it makes perfect sense.
a ghost pepper enema.
that is what you need.
by darth figpucker
that's extremely odd
i was thinking lawrence welk
and someone posted...
by vhs