Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 55 Days and 77445 Haiku later...

Now half completed.
Dingleberry pressing book.
Who needs dumb flowers.
Haiku # 50047, August 28, 2013 2:57 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
avant garde is not
me thinks in the cards for me
thinks it's all been done
Haiku # 50046, August 28, 2013 6:26 am ET
by vhs
irony gives way
to conformity the man
in the grey flannel

suit gives way to step
ford wives and the age of the
prozace eating child
Haiku # 50045, August 27, 2013 11:00 pm ET
by vhs
what is missing is
that sense of variety
to see, to touch, i've
Haiku # 50044, August 27, 2013 10:58 pm ET
by vhs
Obama said that.
"Please give me your vote for change."
When he meant "spare change".

I'll get a sex change.
And then be a lesbian.
Damn, South Park did it.

I'll change my Depends.
What does an old man taste like?
Depends!... Ewww! Effing gross!
Haiku # 50043, August 27, 2013 6:16 pm ET
by Darth TeaBagger for legalized acid crack of Inglewood, CA crackhouse
when the bright and new
shiny thing doesn't sell no
more, expect a change
Haiku # 50042, August 27, 2013 3:41 pm ET
by vhs
a real page turner
the digital moloch eats
everything it finds
Haiku # 50041, August 27, 2013 1:39 pm ET
by vhs
classified my ass
you damn loki, get over
here and feed me now
Haiku # 50040, August 27, 2013 1:34 pm ET
by vhs
It is classified.
Need to know basis only.
You don't need to know!
Haiku # 50039, August 27, 2013 1:00 pm ET
by Darth FartMachine of What's your favorite barnyard animal on Saturday night?
well did that conform
to standards or was that an
automatic haiku
Haiku # 50038, August 27, 2013 11:26 am ET
by vhs
█████████
███████████████
█████████
Haiku # 50037, August 27, 2013 10:53 am ET
by NSA Haiku
people often look
in reaction for what they want
lawyers interpret
Haiku # 50036, August 27, 2013 8:21 am ET
by vhs
half apparatus
has shafted the last of us
imagine past this
Haiku # 50035, August 27, 2013 4:35 am ET
by Lush
awoke with a start
dreamt my mother was Jewish
quoth, "I do declare."
Haiku # 50034, August 27, 2013 4:31 am ET
by Lush
tribe superior
by def: rest inferior
murder ev'ryone
Haiku # 50033, August 27, 2013 4:29 am ET
by Lush
haven't offended
haven't thought... most serious
'tis global warfare
Haiku # 50032, August 27, 2013 4:25 am ET
by Lush
one brother is one
one brother is another
sisters remittent
Haiku # 50031, August 27, 2013 4:24 am ET
by Lush
schnikes... I forgot
reproduce and saturate
doctor, lawyer, thief
Haiku # 50030, August 27, 2013 4:22 am ET
by Lush
intellectual?
toss that shit and live your life
dance before demise
Haiku # 50029, August 27, 2013 4:20 am ET
by Lush
anti semitic?
perhaps I am the ruin
least i'm not asian
Haiku # 50028, August 27, 2013 4:18 am ET
by Lush
as for ou812
well van halen, so long back
my introduction to

sammy hagar and
said rockers, now my words are
david lee roth? oi
Haiku # 50027, August 27, 2013 1:50 am ET
by vhs of wonders if I should sign in as "vh"
well I was afraid
I would draw the tower card
but some asshole put

the wild draw four card
from the uno deck in my set
games people play
Haiku # 50026, August 27, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
LOL @ U!!!
U b-leave N tarot cards!
U, sir, R D card!

OICU812

Anyone ever see that chimp video where he scratches his butt, sniffs his finger, then falls over backwards out of a tree? That's the way I feel after reading this website.
Haiku # 50025, August 27, 2013 1:36 am ET
by Darth Chimpbuttscratcher of Click to see the u-tube vid of the chimp.
so that's the truth of
the colonel's secret spices
after all this time...

by the way zero
in the tarot is the "fool"
look it up yourself
Haiku # 50024, August 26, 2013 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
I believe in zip;
nothing, nada, nullity.
I worship zero.

It defines us all.
Zero is the start and end;
the true mystery.

Unfathomable.
What "nothing" exactly means,
We are ignorant.








And I still enjoy fucking a chicken or two every Saturday afternoon. Remember that the next time you eat Colonel. ;-)
Haiku # 50023, August 26, 2013 2:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Hills of Tennessee
true believers can
often be some of the biggest
roadblocks in life
Haiku # 50022, August 26, 2013 1:19 am ET
by vhs
I want your empty V
HS. MTVHS Tivo Beavis and Butthead.
Fuck haiku and the Nippos that invented them.
5-7-5 is gay.
I prefer South Park.

Rebel against numbers. Do the numbers care? 42.
Haiku # 50021, August 25, 2013 2:55 pm ET
by Darth Bifurcating Figpucker Poo of Smithsonian Institute Exhibit of Stinky People
must have something to
do with thinking rebellion
for rebellion's sake

is a reason for
the whole enterprise and thus
I want my MTV haiku
Haiku # 50020, August 25, 2013 8:59 am ET
by vhs
Farts make me happy.
Especially when in church.
Muffled laughs echo.

A Tri-Delta smelt a fart from my ass wholly disgusted and perturbed by the disturbed misbehavior of my super-intelligent sphincter that stinked her out of the room with a sonic... BOOM!...
Or two... or three... or FOUR!...
She slammed the damned door like the plastic Barbie whore she is!
My, but my butt has its very own mind where you step please; you snooze, you'll lose your shoes. SPLAT!

(If you've never farted on and then stolen the shoes off a drunken sorority girl, you've never truly lived).
Haiku # 50019, August 24, 2013 5:06 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about farts of attired uticesi
I ate bad tacos.
I made bifurcating poo.
It was really gross.
Haiku # 50018, August 23, 2013 3:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
oh poop, and here we
are throwing ideas like those
primates throwing poo

was there a teletubby named poo?
Haiku # 50017, August 23, 2013 1:36 am ET
by vhs
kaleidoscopic
telecommunication
observatory.

justifiable
pseudointellectual
impenetrability.

arbitrarily
parallelepipedal
geometrical
Haiku # 50016, August 22, 2013 6:40 pm ET
by BifurcatingPoo of digital potty sanitation engineer
the last minute, the
slump, forecast of doom it tells
what of history

how much has it been
said something will fail when years
later the thing goes on
Haiku # 50015, August 22, 2013 1:52 pm ET
by vhs
can we do haiku
about breakfast cereal
in honor of seinfeld?
Haiku # 50014, August 22, 2013 1:57 am ET
by vhs
well given the world
we live in a place like this
gives us space to breathe
Haiku # 50013, August 22, 2013 1:55 am ET
by vhs
Oh circumcision!
Literally a rip-off
Followed by bagels
Haiku # 50012, August 21, 2013 7:45 pm ET
by C.H. Nissan
Interesting fact:
First definition of "Geek":
man who screws chickens.

Or bites their heads off
as part of a circus show.
Now it means a nerd.

How did this happen?
Either way applies to me.
See the video.
Haiku # 50011, August 21, 2013 3:11 pm ET
by Chicken Fucker on YouTube of Sumo wrestler with diarrhea
and like a certain
subaru may it go for
100,000 more hits
Haiku # 50010, August 21, 2013 12:54 pm ET
by vhs
go you bad haiku
raging after all these years
well who'da thunk it ?
Haiku # 50009, August 21, 2013 9:08 am ET
by ash
Congratulations,
Bad Haiku on reaching yet
another milestone.
Haiku # 50008, August 21, 2013 8:20 am ET
by Adam
irony is chic
still to me, not dead but a
tradition, well worn
Haiku # 50007, August 21, 2013 6:32 am ET
by vhs
politics aside
I have older fashioned views
I am likely to

become silent, think
data is a dead thing to me
welcome to the machine

but this is janis's webby
let's back to haiku
Haiku # 50006, August 21, 2013 6:31 am ET
by vhs
Ooo...
I found a new link.
To download my evil book.
Click on the link here.

It's just a word doc.
Not a computer virus.
Just a brain virus.
Haiku # 50005, August 21, 2013 12:38 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Planet Rupert
Considering the deforestation of the planet, I'm not against e-books. Considering e-books allows small time people to publish and be read/discovered. Considering publishers get 90% of profits.... Yeah, I don't like brick & mortar.
Haiku # 50004, August 21, 2013 12:12 am ET
by who cares.
On a single Nook
I can fit a thousand books.
Now just have a look.
Haiku # 50003, August 21, 2013 12:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fifty K haiku.
Fall into oblivion.
What else should we do?
Haiku # 50002, August 21, 2013 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
think think? who thinks when
my smartphone can think for me
come to think oh I

don't have one
Haiku # 50001, August 20, 2013 10:32 pm ET
by vhs
generation x said
to generation y y
bother, 50,000
Haiku # 50000, August 20, 2013 10:31 pm ET
by vhs
the ego can't hide
from the id, as it would be
freud not dear sir, mom!!!!
Haiku # 49999, August 20, 2013 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of cut and paste
it's coming, aj
abrams whatever he does
some film, who cares? oh

laws of power aside...
Haiku # 49998, August 20, 2013 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
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