Rattling of keys
Shattering my synapses
Begging my leave, please.

Gymnosophist, noun:
A naked philosopher;
Practicing nudist.

All naked sprinting
Seems most newsworthy to me
Gymnosophistry!

Finished with 'script drugs
A Sharpie revolution
Inspiring, LeBomb

shiny silver fish
devouring everything
eating all my words

lazing on the grass
a warm winter's afternoon
the seasons slip by

tapping the rhythm
disciples of seventeen
the new beat poets

My mornings are best
served with twisted sheets, coffee
and an extra hump

Humps that hold water
are best remembered when left
lying by the sea

Birds and vermin swarm
eating up the walls and roof
of my hotdog house

At the edge of time
energy collides with space
cooking a hotdog

Yellow and fuzzy
it made little-bitty peeps
from its straw basket

All bent on sharpies
I outran a police dog
naked on the news

My friend held me down
and then puked into my mouth
like a little bird

This vine hanging down
has been teaching me the way
about blueberries

My measures fall short
when all I can muster up
is decaf coffee

I prefer two humps
ruminating past efforts
one of your best ash

the closet camel
most absorbing company
and yet a dry hump

our leader is short
but that's not why i hate him
though there's less to like

anachronistic
digital technology
the old prostate screen

the years ripple by
undulating existence
a splash then damping

Fun recreation
It is so pleasing to see
The master return

Can no longer bear
The wretched mirror image.
Must escape in dreams.

A cloak of pretense
Adorns the psuedo-poet.
Horrid reflection

thumb in ass ref'rence
finds me in throes of guffaw
I praise thee, Bonfire

Humidity is
the devil's brethren, but now
its all gone away

hot rocks in my mouth
the red-faced priest is screaming
the dogs strain their chains

the stars swinging free
the pines moving like women
my thumb in your ass

this dream ends the same
for thousands of short years
over and over

if i was a horse
i'd often be thinking
this is such bullshit

Much thanks going out
appreciation abounds
hurray for Janis

Rudimentary
Searching Capabilities
They have been added

Such clever wordplay
Draws a smile upon my face
I congratulate

Oh my dearest Ash,
You are most hilarious.
All sincerity.

toyworld IVF
barbie wants a family
ken comes in a box

onan was a jerk
and jonah came in a whale
religion is sick

T-Shirts in Series.
Here's the current installment:
Onanism Rules.

No offense, dear Ash.
I, too, comprehend the jest.
Infinite as 'tis.

to communicate
terrorists use their cell phones
and then smoke signals

ring around the moon
a rizla full of posy
and we all fall down

cool running water
tears running down baby face
I felt sick in guts

ruby tripped over
falling towards the fire
little hand was burned

you can count on me
bad haiku five five five damn
let me start again

Glad to see you folks
I knew this would all be back
like a boomarang

(just kidding about the moxie post)

Reign of terror is back
this is better than psychodelic tivo
bring it on, y'all

Terrorist alert
is slowly rising higher
bringing out the worst

A plug for a friend
crazydeathmonkey dot com
his videos rule

My new t-shirt says:
Pharmacology Doth Rule!
Screw the FDA

Tilt head in prayer
lift the bottle way, way up
towards my god's sky

Wish there was a search
can't seem to find the haiku
that I am missing